The best way to solve the world’s environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The overconsumption of fossil fuels has become a major concern in recent years. Some people suggest that increasing fuel prices could be a solution to environmental issues. Personally, I believe that other measures should also be given equal consideration.
Firstly, increasing fuel prices cannot significantly reduce global dependence on fossil fuels. Even if the price of fuel rises considerably, people will not be able to immediately cut down on the massive demand for petrol. For example, in daily life, people still need to use their cars despite fluctuations in fuel prices. Moreover, petrol is also crucial for other applications, such as in manufacturing and agriculture. If fuel prices increase, the national economy could suffer several adverse consequences.
When it comes to reducing greenhouse gas emissions, other measures should be taken to address the problem of overconsumption. One practical solution is to reduce demand in daily activities, such as travel and production. This can be achieved by encouraging the use of energy-efficient products, like hybrid cars, or by implementing new energy-saving technologies in manufacturing. Additionally, a more sustainable solution is to reduce reliance on fossil fuels by embracing alternative resources. Wind and tidal power in the Netherlands, nuclear power in Japan, and solar power in the United States have all proven efficient in energy production. These technologies could be adopted in other parts of the world to reduce global dependence on fossil fuels.
All the evidence presented above shows that simply increasing fuel prices will not effectively reduce global warming. Stronger alternative measures need to be implemented to tackle this situation.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise phrasing Original: could be a solution to environmental issues Suggested revision: could help address environmental problems Why it matters: This phrasing states the potential effect more directly and naturally.
- 2. Use active collocation Original: be given equal consideration Suggested revision: receive equal consideration Why it matters: The verb “receive” forms a more concise collocation with “consideration.”
- 3. Improve collocation Original: cut down on the massive demand Suggested revision: reduce the high demand Why it matters: Demand is normally described as being reduced rather than cut down on.
- 4. Clarify the transition Original: For example, in daily life Suggested revision: In daily life Why it matters: The sentence describes a general situation rather than introducing a specific example.
- 5. Use parallel wording Original: other applications, such as in manufacturing and agriculture Suggested revision: other uses, including manufacturing and agriculture Why it matters: This revision gives the list a clearer and more natural grammatical relationship to the noun.
- 6. Specify the demand Original: reduce demand in daily activities Suggested revision: reduce energy demand in daily activities Why it matters: Naming energy makes the intended type of demand precise.
- 7. Use exact term Original: alternative resources Suggested revision: alternative energy sources Why it matters: The paragraph specifically refers to sources of energy rather than resources in general.
- 8. Improve collocation Original: proven efficient in energy production Suggested revision: proved effective at producing energy Why it matters: “Effective at producing energy” is a more natural collocation for the intended claim.
- 9. Name the problem Original: situation Suggested revision: problem Why it matters: A problem can be tackled, while “situation” is unnecessarily vague here.
- 10. Connect the final point Suggested revision: Clarify how the economic consequence in the final sentence connects to the paragraph’s main point about continued dependence on fuel. Why it matters: The paragraph shifts from fuel demand to economic harm without making the logical link explicit.
- 11. Separate the approaches Suggested revision: Use a clearer transition between reducing energy demand and replacing fossil fuels with alternative energy sources. Why it matters: The paragraph presents two distinct approaches, so a sharper transition would improve progression.
Suggested Rewrites
- could be a solution to environmental issues could help address environmental problems
- be given equal consideration receive equal consideration
- cut down on the massive demand reduce the high demand
- For example, in daily life In daily life
- other applications, such as in manufacturing and agriculture other uses, including manufacturing and agriculture
- reduce demand in daily activities reduce energy demand in daily activities
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response’s strongest feature is its clear, consistently maintained position, supported by a logical comparison between fuel-price increases and alternative environmental measures. Its main limitation is that the argument against higher prices relies on fairly general assertions about unavoidable demand and economic harm rather than examining how price changes could still influence consumption. The priority is to deepen that evaluation with more specific causal reasoning and evidence.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and both the limitations of fuel-price increases and viable alternatives are relevantly developed.
Evaluate more directly why pricing is less effective than the proposed alternatives, using specific causal evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used naturally and unobtrusively.
Make the transition from rejecting fuel-price rises to comparing alternative measures more explicitly argumentative.
Lexical Resource
A broad and generally precise vocabulary supports clear discussion of energy use, emissions, and economic effects.
Refine a few broad collocations, such as references to demand and alternative resources, for greater precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is controlled accurately, with only rare minor lapses.
Maintain this control while varying sentence openings and tightening occasional heavily modified sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The best way to solve the world’s environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.