The age of Information Technology has taken a lot of people by surprise. While it has become a way of life for some, others know very little about it and maybe unlikely to learn. Eventually, as a result of this division, we will have a polarized society and this will lead to serious social problems. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Sample Response
As the world advances, the use of information technology becomes more prevalent in our daily lives. However, while some people embrace it, others are not familiar with it and may not have the desire to learn. This division of technology usage may lead to social polarization, causing serious problems in society. I agree with this statement because this is a reality.
The rise of the digital divide has resulted in the inequality of access to technology between the technologically skilled and the non-skilled. This division may lead to social and economic disadvantages for those without the skills to participate in a technology-driven society. They may struggle to find work, as most jobs now require basic computer skills, or have difficulty accessing basic services like healthcare, education, and finance.
Moreover, the use of technology has also resulted in a loss of human interaction, leading to social isolation, depression, and other mental health issues. People who are not familiar with technology may feel left out of social interactions, which may lead to a decline in social cohesion and an increase in polarization.
However, I believe that the solution to this problem is not to stop technological advancement but rather to provide equal access and opportunities to everyone. Governments and organizations should provide affordable and accessible training programs to help people improve their technology skills. Additionally, the education system should integrate technology education into the curriculum to ensure that everyone has basic digital skills.
In conclusion, while the digital divide may lead to social polarization, we can take steps to reduce its negative consequences. By providing equal opportunities and access to technology, we can ensure that everyone has the skills to participate in a technology-driven society and prevent social problems that it may cause.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise terminology Original: This division of technology usage Suggested revision: This divide in technology use Why it matters: The replacement states the contrast more naturally and concisely.
- 2. Correct preposition Original: the inequality of access to technology Suggested revision: inequality in access to technology Why it matters: The standard construction is 'inequality in access'.
- 3. Use natural labels Original: the technologically skilled and the non-skilled Suggested revision: people with and without digital skills Why it matters: The replacement avoids awkward labels and describes the two groups precisely.
- 4. Choose concise wording Original: feel left out of social interactions Suggested revision: feel excluded from social interactions Why it matters: 'Feel excluded' conveys the same meaning more directly.
- 5. Use established term Original: technology Suggested revision: digital Why it matters: 'Digital skills' is the more natural term for abilities needed to use technology.
- 6. Refine repeated wording Original: technology Suggested revision: digital Why it matters: 'Digital education' is more concise and avoids repeating 'technology'.
- 7. Clarify parallel ideas Original: equal opportunities and access to technology Suggested revision: equal access to technology and learning opportunities Why it matters: The revision specifies what the opportunities involve and creates clearer parallel phrasing.
- 8. Clarify pronoun reference Original: prevent social problems that it may cause Suggested revision: prevent the social problems that this divide may cause Why it matters: The explicit noun phrase removes ambiguity about what causes the problems.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: I agree with this statement because this is a reality. Suggested revision: I agree with this statement because it reflects a genuine social divide. Why it matters: The revision replaces the vague expression 'this is a reality' with a precise restatement of the claim.
- 10. Strengthen the transition Suggested revision: Use the opening transition to connect social isolation explicitly to the digital divide discussed in the previous paragraph. Why it matters: The current shift from unequal access to technology's general social effects weakens the progression between the two paragraphs.
Suggested Rewrites
- This division of technology usage This divide in technology use
- the inequality of access to technology inequality in access to technology
- the technologically skilled and the non-skilled people with and without digital skills
- feel left out of social interactions feel excluded from social interactions
- technology digital
- technology digital
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is well focused and logically organised, with a consistent position and relevant explanation of how unequal digital access can create social and economic exclusion. Its main limitation is that some points remain general, particularly the link between reduced interaction and the specific digital divide described in the task. Develop each causal link with a more concrete example and refine a few repetitive or awkward expressions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents a clear position and develops relevant consequences and solutions, though some supporting links remain somewhat general.
Strengthen the argument with a concrete example showing how lack of digital skills directly produces exclusion or wider social tension.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses clearly through causes, consequences, solutions, and conclusion, with logical paragraphing and controlled cohesive devices.
Make the transition into the social-isolation point more explicit so its connection to the digital divide is immediately clear.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and appropriate to the topic, with only occasional awkward phrasing and some repetition.
Reduce repeated phrases such as may lead and technology-driven society by using precise alternatives where they improve naturalness.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used accurately, and the few minor errors do not impede communication.
Refine pronoun reference and article choices in the final sentences to make an already strong level of grammatical control more exact.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The age of Information Technology has taken a lot of people by surprise. While it has become a way of life for some, others know very little about it and maybe unlikely to learn. Eventually, as a result of this division, we will have a polarized society and this will lead to serious social problems. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.