Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? Model Answe 1: In recent years, an increasing number of individuals are opting to have children later in life. This shift in family planning can be attributed to various socio-economic and personal factors. While this trend offers numerous advantages, it also presents certain challenges that warrant consideration. In my opinion, this trend has more benefits than drawbacks. One of the primary reasons for delaying parenthood is the pursuit of higher education and career advancement. In today’s competitive job market, many individuals, particularly women, prioritise establishing their careers and achieving financial stability before starting a family. For example, a woman who completes her postgraduate studies and establishes herself in a professional role by her early thirties may feel more equipped to provide a stable environment for her children. Additionally, societal shifts towards gender equality have empowered women to make informed choices about their reproductive health, further contributing to this trend. There are some disadvantages of this trend. Biological challenges associated with delayed childbearing, such as decreased fertility and increased risk of complications, cannot be overlooked. Additionally, older parents may face generational gaps with their children, potentially impacting their ability to relate and engage with them effectively. However, the advantages of this trend are considerable. Delayed parenthood often results in children being born into more financially secure and emotionally mature families. Parents who have achieved their personal and professional aspirations are likely to provide a nurturing environment, enriched with resources and stability. For instance, older parents may have accumulated savings and have a clearer sense of their life goals, which can translate into better opportunities for their children. In conclusion, while the trend of having children later in life is driven by valid socio-economic and personal reasons, and offers substantial benefits, it is not without its drawbacks. On balance, the advantages, such as increased financial stability and emotional maturity, tend to outweigh the disadvantages, provided that individuals make informed and well-supported reproductive choices.
Sample Response
With paradigm shifts in social beliefs and people's fascination with careers, they tend to become parents at a later stage. Several reasons are responsible for this, and I believe that it has more negative consequences.
To begin with, the average year when people get married those days has increased significantly. As a result, childbirth is naturally delayed. According to a recent survey, many young people who start their careers after their university graduation are more focused on their jobs than having their own family. Besides, many young people are undecided whether to marry or not. Eventually, when they get married, many of them are already in their mid-thirties, and they take some time to settle and have some financial stability before having their first child. Furthermore, the old belief that a girl should manage a family and have children earlier has changed, and more wives work in offices than ever. The decline of the joint family has also contributed to this trend as couples solely decide to have a baby, unlike in the past.
If we notice the severe detrimental impacts this trend has, we will surely try to reverse it. The most cynical outcome of this trend is the number of couples who struggle to become parents. It is scientifically proven that the infertility rate among couples is higher who try to become pregnant after their mid-thirties. Some couples eventually break up their marriages due to this, and it brings unfathomable social problems. Furthermore, having a child in the early years of marriage makes the couple more family-oriented and this eventually helps them have a better future.
To conclude, late marriage, nuclear family structure, and more focus on jobs are the main reasons people become parents at a later stage in their lives. I think this trend has more adverse results than positive outcomes. So it is expected that married people would carefully consider different negative and positive aspects of having babies later in their lives.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise career phrase Original: people's fascination with careers Suggested revision: people's focus on their careers Why it matters: The revision expresses career prioritisation more precisely.
- 2. Specify life stage Original: at a later stage. Suggested revision: later in life. Why it matters: The revised phrase states the timing more directly.
- 3. Use age measure Original: year Suggested revision: age Why it matters: Marriage timing is measured by age rather than by an average year.
- 4. Fix time reference Original: those Suggested revision: these Why it matters: The present-time expression requires “these days.”
- 5. Use natural graduation phrase Original: after their university graduation Suggested revision: after graduating from university Why it matters: The gerund construction is more natural in this context.
- 6. Match plural subject Original: family Suggested revision: families Why it matters: The plural subject “young people” requires the plural noun “families.”
- 7. Add correct preposition Original: undecided whether to marry or not Suggested revision: undecided about whether to marry Why it matters: “Undecided” takes “about” before an indirect question.
- 8. Use natural phrasal verb Original: take some time to settle Suggested revision: take time to settle down Why it matters: “Settle down” is the natural expression for establishing a stable adult life.
- 9. Use stronger collocation Original: have some financial stability Suggested revision: achieve financial stability Why it matters: People normally achieve financial stability rather than have some stability.
- 10. Use accurate social wording Original: a girl should manage a family Suggested revision: a woman should manage a household Why it matters: “Woman” and “household” describe the adult role and domestic responsibility more accurately.
- 11. Avoid narrow wording Original: more wives work in offices Suggested revision: more women work outside the home Why it matters: The revision covers employment generally rather than limiting it to wives in offices.
- 12. Clarify independent choice Original: couples solely decide Suggested revision: couples decide independently Why it matters: “Independently” correctly describes how couples make the decision themselves.
Suggested Rewrites
- people's fascination with careers people's focus on their careers
- at a later stage. later in life.
- year age
- those these
- after their university graduation after graduating from university
- family families
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear position, develops several plausible reasons for delayed parenthood, and progresses logically through well-controlled paragraphs. Its main limitation is that the comparison is largely one-sided: the disadvantages are explained, but potential advantages are only mentioned in the conclusion and never evaluated. The highest-priority improvement is to develop at least one concrete advantage and explicitly weigh it against the fertility and family concerns before reaffirming the judgment.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response clearly identifies several reasons and maintains a negative position, but it does not substantively evaluate any advantages before deciding that the disadvantages prevail.
Develop at least one plausible advantage and compare its significance directly with the explained disadvantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure provides clear progression, and cohesive devices generally connect the reasons, consequences, and conclusion effectively.
Use fewer routine transition markers and strengthen the logical link between each consequence and the overall comparison.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic vocabulary conveys the argument clearly, although imprecise choices such as 'average year,' 'cynical outcome,' and 'break up their marriages' reduce naturalness.
Prioritise accurate collocations and check ambitious word choices against their exact meanings before using them.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are used with generally strong control, though occasional agreement, article, and relative-clause errors remain.
Proofread complex sentences for clear noun references and correct constructions, especially around comparative and relative clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? Model Answe 1: In recent years, an increasing number of individuals are opting to have children later in life. This shift in family planning can be attributed to various socio-economic and personal factors. While this trend offers numerous advantages, it also presents certain challenges that warrant consideration. In my opinion, this trend has more benefits than drawbacks. One of the primary reasons for delaying parenthood is the pursuit of higher education and career advancement. In today’s competitive job market, many individuals, particularly women, prioritise establishing their careers and achieving financial stability before starting a family. For example, a woman who completes her postgraduate studies and establishes herself in a professional role by her early thirties may feel more equipped to provide a stable environment for her children. Additionally, societal shifts towards gender equality have empowered women to make informed choices about their reproductive health, further contributing to this trend. There are some disadvantages of this trend. Biological challenges associated with delayed childbearing, such as decreased fertility and increased risk of complications, cannot be overlooked. Additionally, older parents may face generational gaps with their children, potentially impacting their ability to relate and engage with them effectively. However, the advantages of this trend are considerable. Delayed parenthood often results in children being born into more financially secure and emotionally mature families. Parents who have achieved their personal and professional aspirations are likely to provide a nurturing environment, enriched with resources and stability. For instance, older parents may have accumulated savings and have a clearer sense of their life goals, which can translate into better opportunities for their children. In conclusion, while the trend of having children later in life is driven by valid socio-economic and personal reasons, and offers substantial benefits, it is not without its drawbacks. On balance, the advantages, such as increased financial stability and emotional maturity, tend to outweigh the disadvantages, provided that individuals make informed and well-supported reproductive choices.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.