Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? Model Answe 1: In recent years, an increasing number of individuals are opting to have children later in life. This shift in family planning can be attributed to various socio-economic and personal factors. While this trend offers numerous advantages, it also presents certain challenges that warrant consideration. In my opinion, this trend has more benefits than drawbacks. One of the primary reasons for delaying parenthood is the pursuit of higher education and career advancement. In today’s competitive job market, many individuals, particularly women, prioritise establishing their careers and achieving financial stability before starting a family. For example, a woman who completes her postgraduate studies and establishes herself in a professional role by her early thirties may feel more equipped to provide a stable environment for her children. Additionally, societal shifts towards gender equality have empowered women to make informed choices about their reproductive health, further contributing to this trend. There are some disadvantages of this trend. Biological challenges associated with delayed childbearing, such as decreased fertility and increased risk of complications, cannot be overlooked. Additionally, older parents may face generational gaps with their children, potentially impacting their ability to relate and engage with them effectively. However, the advantages of this trend are considerable. Delayed parenthood often results in children being born into more financially secure and emotionally mature families. Parents who have achieved their personal and professional aspirations are likely to provide a nurturing environment, enriched with resources and stability. For instance, older parents may have accumulated savings and have a clearer sense of their life goals, which can translate into better opportunities for their children. In conclusion, while the trend of having children later in life is driven by valid socio-economic and personal reasons, and offers substantial benefits, it is not without its drawbacks. On balance, the advantages, such as increased financial stability and emotional maturity, tend to outweigh the disadvantages, provided that individuals make informed and well-supported reproductive choices.
Sample Response
These days, an increasing number of married couples delay their parenthood. The career-oriented mentality is the root cause of this current trend, and I believe it is a negative development because it leads to decreased fertility and health issues.
Today, many individuals become very passionate about their higher study and career development. They devote their twenties and thirties to achieving advanced degrees and distinguished careers. That is to say, young married couples are passionately engaging in their higher study and careers to ensure their career growth. For example, a career-oriented couple may prioritize their career dedicating time and energy to create a niche for themselves in their chosen profession. Once they manage to carve out a niche for themselves, then they may feel they are ready for parenthood in their late thirties or early forties.
However, delayed parenthood is associated with reduced fertility and increased health issues. In advanced maternal age, women’s ovarian reserve decreases, causing a decline in the quality and number of eggs available for fertilization. Consequently, women may face enormous challenges to conceive naturally and other increased health problems. For instance, a recent study finds that women in their late thirties and forties may face a greater likelihood of infertility, miscarriage, and gestational diabetes compared to their counterparts. Similarly, the adverse impacts of age also occur in men. From the age of forty, research finds that the rate of DNA fragmentation is higher which can cause genetic abnormalities in children. For these reasons, I think delayed parenthood is a negative development.
In conclusion, the reason behind late parenthood is that individuals are enthusiastically engaging in higher study and professional development. However, I feel that decreased fertility and other health problems associated with delayed parenthood are more significant downsides than some minor benefits that it may offer.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove possessive determiner Original: delay their parenthood Suggested revision: delay parenthood Why it matters: Parenthood is used as an uncountable general concept and does not take their here.
- 2. Remove redundant wording Original: the root cause of this current trend Suggested revision: the main cause of this trend Why it matters: Current is redundant with trend in this context, and main avoids the overly absolute root cause.
- 3. Use natural academic wording Original: become very passionate about their higher study and career development Suggested revision: are highly committed to higher education and career development Why it matters: The replacement corrects the unnatural tense and collocation around higher study.
- 4. Add participial comma Original: career dedicating time Suggested revision: career, dedicating time Why it matters: A comma is needed before the participial phrase that explains how the couple prioritizes the career.
- 5. Avoid repeated expression Original: create a niche for themselves Suggested revision: establish themselves Why it matters: The following sentence repeats carve out a niche, so this replacement improves lexical variety.
- 6. Remove redundant connector Original: Once they manage to carve out a niche for themselves, then Suggested revision: Once they manage to carve out a niche for themselves, Why it matters: Once already marks the time relationship, making then redundant.
- 7. Correct the preposition Original: In advanced maternal age Suggested revision: At an advanced maternal age Why it matters: At is the correct preposition for referring to a stage of life or age.
- 8. Clarify the comparison group Original: compared to their counterparts Suggested revision: compared with younger women Why it matters: Counterparts does not identify the age group against which the older women are compared.
- 9. Use natural phrasing Original: the adverse impacts of age also occur in men Suggested revision: age also has adverse effects on men Why it matters: Effects occur, but impacts do not naturally occur in men in this construction.
- 10. Add relative-clause comma Original: higher which Suggested revision: higher, which Why it matters: The following non-defining relative clause needs a preceding comma.
- 11. Use natural career adjective Original: distinguished careers Suggested revision: successful careers Why it matters: Distinguished usually describes a person or an established record, while successful fits the intended careers.
- 12. Use concise modifier Original: a career-oriented couple Suggested revision: a career-focused couple Why it matters: Career-focused is a more natural and concise adjective for the couple's priority.
Suggested Rewrites
- delay their parenthood delay parenthood
- the root cause of this current trend the main cause of this trend
- become very passionate about their higher study and career development are highly committed to higher education and career development
- career dedicating time career, dedicating time
- create a niche for themselves establish themselves
- Once they manage to carve out a niche for themselves, then Once they manage to carve out a niche for themselves,
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its clear explanation of career-related delay and its detailed discussion of fertility and health risks for older parents. Its main limitation is a major imbalance in task coverage: it never identifies or develops any advantages, so the claim that disadvantages outweigh “minor benefits” is not supported by an actual comparison. The highest-priority improvement is to explain plausible benefits such as financial stability or maturity and weigh them directly against the health risks.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The reason for delayed parenthood and its disadvantages are developed clearly, but the advantages are omitted, leaving the required outweigh comparison incomplete.
Develop at least one substantial advantage and compare its scale directly with the fertility and health disadvantages before reaching the final judgement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through the cause, health consequences, and conclusion, with clear paragraphing and generally effective cohesion.
Add a distinct advantages paragraph before the evaluation so the organisational structure reflects every part of the task.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied and precise, particularly in the discussion of careers, fertility, and medical risks, despite occasional awkward collocations.
Refine phrases such as “higher study,” “challenges to conceive,” and “adverse impacts of age occur in men” into natural academic English.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is used with generally good control, although several agreement, tense, article, and clause-linking errors remain.
Check tense consistency when reporting research and use participial clauses carefully to avoid loosely attached modifiers.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? Model Answe 1: In recent years, an increasing number of individuals are opting to have children later in life. This shift in family planning can be attributed to various socio-economic and personal factors. While this trend offers numerous advantages, it also presents certain challenges that warrant consideration. In my opinion, this trend has more benefits than drawbacks. One of the primary reasons for delaying parenthood is the pursuit of higher education and career advancement. In today’s competitive job market, many individuals, particularly women, prioritise establishing their careers and achieving financial stability before starting a family. For example, a woman who completes her postgraduate studies and establishes herself in a professional role by her early thirties may feel more equipped to provide a stable environment for her children. Additionally, societal shifts towards gender equality have empowered women to make informed choices about their reproductive health, further contributing to this trend. There are some disadvantages of this trend. Biological challenges associated with delayed childbearing, such as decreased fertility and increased risk of complications, cannot be overlooked. Additionally, older parents may face generational gaps with their children, potentially impacting their ability to relate and engage with them effectively. However, the advantages of this trend are considerable. Delayed parenthood often results in children being born into more financially secure and emotionally mature families. Parents who have achieved their personal and professional aspirations are likely to provide a nurturing environment, enriched with resources and stability. For instance, older parents may have accumulated savings and have a clearer sense of their life goals, which can translate into better opportunities for their children. In conclusion, while the trend of having children later in life is driven by valid socio-economic and personal reasons, and offers substantial benefits, it is not without its drawbacks. On balance, the advantages, such as increased financial stability and emotional maturity, tend to outweigh the disadvantages, provided that individuals make informed and well-supported reproductive choices.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.