There is no doubt that the internet is one of the best modern inventions. It has made many things possible in our life while some people believe that it has brought some negative consequences too. To what extent has the internet made life more convenient compared to its disadvantages?
Sample Response
The internet has profound contributions to our lifestyle and daily needs. Also, information is instantaneously available, at the behest of the people due to this technology. From a historical perspective, the comfort level enjoyed by people is at its pinnacle. Such is the impact of the internet on our life. This essay will discuss how the internet is playing an indispensable role in shaping education as one of the main advantages, and, secondly, outline how cybercrimes can adversely affect lives. Overall, however, the internet has made life better.
The internet significantly boosts student autonomy. Students have the freedom to focus on whatever topics or subjects they want to study and learn more about this subject. An example is the number of online courses available, covering a variety of subjects, which up until today was unavailable to most learners. This has caused an upsurge in the number of people studying tertiary-level degrees, at a pace and schedule that suits them the best. Education is no more a rigid process of learning in classrooms, rather, it is an entertaining, engaging and fun activity and thanks to the internet technology for that.
The main disadvantage associated with the usage of the internet is the rise of electronic crimes. People risk their privacy online by having their sensitive information stolen by malicious software
In conclusion, the benefits the internet bring to education, such as student autonomy, must be measured against the drawbacks, such as cybercrimes. Overall, the internet’s positive usage by people all over the world significantly outweighs its negative usage.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct the collocation Original: has Suggested revision: makes Why it matters: The verb 'make' forms the standard collocation with 'contributions.'
- 2. Use the intended phrase Original: at the behest of the people Suggested revision: on demand Why it matters: 'At the behest of' means at someone's command and does not express immediate availability.
- 3. Use natural phrasing Original: comfort level enjoyed by people is at its pinnacle Suggested revision: level of comfort people enjoy is unprecedented Why it matters: This wording expresses the historical comparison more naturally and precisely.
- 4. Use a plural noun Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The plural 'lives' is needed when referring collectively to people's lives.
- 5. Fix agreement and time Original: which up until today was unavailable Suggested revision: which were previously unavailable Why it matters: The relative clause refers to plural courses, so it requires 'were.'
- 6. Prefer the concise noun Original: usage Suggested revision: use Why it matters: 'Use' is the more natural noun in this context.
- 7. Complete the sentence Original: stolen by malicious software Suggested revision: stolen by malicious software. Why it matters: The sentence needs a final full stop.
- 8. Fix subject-verb agreement Original: bring Suggested revision: brings Why it matters: The singular subject 'internet' requires the verb 'brings.'
- 9. Use a natural noun Original: internet’s positive usage Suggested revision: internet's positive use Why it matters: 'Use' is more idiomatic than 'usage' when contrasting beneficial and harmful applications.
- 10. Clarify the scope Original: our lifestyle and daily needs Suggested revision: our lifestyles and everyday activities Why it matters: The revision describes the broad effect on people's daily lives more naturally.
- 11. Use a concise transition Original: From a historical perspective Suggested revision: Historically Why it matters: The concise transition preserves the time comparison and improves flow.
- 12. Repair the parallel outline Original: as one of the main advantages, and, secondly, outline Suggested revision: as a major advantage and, secondly, outline Why it matters: The revision removes the misplaced comma and makes the two-part outline parallel.
Suggested Rewrites
- has makes
- at the behest of the people on demand
- comfort level enjoyed by people is at its pinnacle level of comfort people enjoy is unprecedented
- life lives
- which up until today was unavailable which were previously unavailable
- usage use
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response has a clear position and its explanation of online education is relevant and reasonably well developed, supported by generally logical organization and a varied vocabulary. Its central weakness is the extremely brief treatment of cybercrime, which leaves the comparison of benefits and disadvantages uneven; the priority is to develop that drawback with a causal explanation and a concrete example while tightening awkward phrasing and sentence control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both sides and maintains a clear overall position, but the disadvantage is asserted rather than adequately developed.
Extend the cybercrime point with a clear explanation of how it reduces convenience and a specific supporting example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay follows a logical introduction-body-conclusion structure, though the very short third paragraph disrupts balance and development.
Build each body paragraph around a fully developed sequence of claim, explanation, and example.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic vocabulary is evident, but several collocations and formulations sound unnatural or imprecise.
Prefer natural combinations such as contributes greatly, access information instantly, and use the internet positively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with generally clear meaning, despite several agreement, punctuation, and sentence-construction errors.
Proofread complex sentences for complete clauses, accurate agreement, and clean punctuation before submitting.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
There is no doubt that the internet is one of the best modern inventions. It has made many things possible in our life while some people believe that it has brought some negative consequences too. To what extent has the internet made life more convenient compared to its disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.