The widespread use of the Internet has brought many problems. What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of the Internet? What solutions can you suggest?
Sample Response
Many people believe that the Internet is the reason for many severe problems in society despite its numerous benefits. This essay will discuss some major problems of Internet usages and some of the solutions to resolve them. For several reasons, the worldwide use of the Internet is the root cause of several serious issues. Firstly, it provides access to many inappropriate contents to its users, including children. As a result, many teenagers are addicted to obscenity and violence which has impacted their psychological growth and academic performance. Secondly, it has diminished real-life communication between families, friends and relatives. With the existence of smartphones and tablets, social networking platforms and an active internet connection, people stay online for several hours a day. Consequently, they are less interested in having face-to-face conversations with others. To resolve the first issue, parents should monitor children's online activities. They should check their children's devices and advise them about the serious effects of accessing unsuitable content. Parents could also make a security setting for their home internet setting, whereas inappropriate websites will be blocked. As for the second issue, it requires the commitment of individuals and family members. For example, as parents need to lead by example, they should set examples by using gadgets for a certain period of time each day. Family members should be disallowed to bring their devices during mealtime, therefore there will be plenty of time for verbal interactions between them. In conclusion, the Internet has indeed brought some serious issues for many communities despite the marvel it has brought for the world. To address those issues, we have to be more active and conscious, act as family and society members while also monitor our younger members online activities.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use uncountable noun Original: usages Suggested revision: use Why it matters: Use is uncountable when it refers generally to Internet activity.
- 2. Remove redundancy Original: solutions to resolve them Suggested revision: solutions to them Why it matters: A solution already conveys the idea of resolving a problem.
- 3. Remove unclear transition Original: For several reasons, Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This phrase does not identify reasons or connect clearly to the preceding essay outline.
- 4. Name the content precisely Original: addicted to obscenity and violence Suggested revision: addicted to obscene and violent content Why it matters: People may become addicted to content, while obscenity and violence describe its qualities or themes.
- 5. Fix agreement Original: which has impacted Suggested revision: which have affected Why it matters: The relative clause refers to the plural ideas of obscene and violent content, so a plural verb is needed.
- 6. Clarify the participants Original: communication between families, friends and relatives Suggested revision: communication among family members, friends and relatives Why it matters: Family members identifies people consistently with friends and relatives, and among suits the multi-part group.
- 7. Use precise cause phrase Original: With the existence of Suggested revision: With the widespread use of Why it matters: The argument concerns frequent use of these technologies rather than merely their existence.
- 8. Use natural collocation Original: effects Suggested revision: consequences Why it matters: Consequences is the more natural noun for harmful results of an action.
- 9. Use correct collocation Original: make a security setting Suggested revision: configure security settings Why it matters: Configure settings is the conventional expression for changing technical controls.
- 10. Avoid repeated wording Original: setting Suggested revision: connection Why it matters: Connection names the service being secured, whereas setting incorrectly repeats the previous noun.
- 11. Show purpose clearly Original: whereas inappropriate websites will be blocked Suggested revision: so that inappropriate websites are blocked Why it matters: So that expresses the intended result, while whereas incorrectly signals a contrast.
- 12. Use correct passive form Original: should be disallowed to bring Suggested revision: should not be allowed to bring Why it matters: Not be allowed is the standard passive construction for this prohibition.
Suggested Rewrites
- usages use
- solutions to resolve them solutions to them
- For several reasons, Delete
- addicted to obscenity and violence addicted to obscene and violent content
- which has impacted which have affected
- communication between families, friends and relatives communication among family members, friends and relatives
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response's main strength is its direct coverage of both parts of the task, with two identifiable problems paired with relevant solutions. The principal weakness is presentation within a single dense paragraph, compounded by recurring awkward collocations and grammatical slips. The highest-priority improvement is to separate the problem-solution pairs into clear paragraphs and edit each sentence for accurate clause linking, agreement, and word choice.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered directly through two relevant problems and corresponding practical solutions that receive adequate explanation.
Develop the broader social impact of each problem and explain more fully why the proposed measures would be effective.
Coherence and Cohesion
The problem-solution sequence is logically traceable, but the single-paragraph presentation and some mechanical linking weaken organisation.
Use separate introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs, with one clearly developed problem-solution pair in each body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The response has enough range for the topic, though several inaccurate collocations and plural forms reduce naturalness.
Use precise combinations such as internet use, inappropriate content, and parental controls, and remove repetitive wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied sentence forms, but recurring agreement, punctuation, article, and clause-linking errors limit control.
Check each complex sentence for a clear main clause, correct agreement, and properly joined dependent clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The widespread use of the Internet has brought many problems. What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of the Internet? What solutions can you suggest?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.