The widespread use of the Internet has brought many problems. What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of the Internet? What solutions can you suggest?
Sample Response
The Internet is a revolutionary technology and it has changed the way people work, interact with each other and interchange information. But the negative consequences of it can not be overlooked and these problems stem mostly from the overuse and over-reliance on this technology. In this essay, the main problems of Internet technology with possible solutions will be discussed. To commence with the problems, widespread use of the Internet is related to new and innovative devices like smartphones and computers, and we replace those devices more frequently than ever. Thus we are creating a throwaway society and contributing to the production of more hazardous waste every day. Furthermore, social media, online games, chat rooms are contributing to digital addictions among many teenagers. Apathy, for instance, is one of the most severe consequences of overreliance on the Internet and that obstructs people from participating in social activities. Besides, people are becoming less active, both socially and physically, due to increased screen time. As a result, our health condition is deteriorating and our social life is in jeopardy. Finally, our privacy is hanging on an edge and our security is at risk due to our extensive dependency on the Internet. After investigating the causes of the problems, it will be easier to offer solutions. First, parents should encourage their children to take part in outdoor activities, and restrict their screen time. Second, we should buy new electronic devices only when this is absolutely necessary. Moreover, the use of the Internet in schools and workplaces should be monitored. The young generation should be encouraged to get involved in social activities and take charity works. Finally, we should make our Internet access more secure and follow the standard security protocol so that hackers and intruders cannot access and gain our personal information like passwords or credit card information. In conclusion, even though our society is becoming more dependent on the Internet and that can bring severe negative results, we have the solutions to mitigate these problems and enjoy the good side this technology offers us.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use exchange collocation Original: interchange Suggested revision: exchange Why it matters: People exchange information, whereas interchange is not natural with this object.
- 2. Use possessive reference Original: the negative consequences of it Suggested revision: its negative consequences Why it matters: The possessive determiner creates a more concise and natural reference to the Internet.
- 3. Join cannot Original: can not Suggested revision: cannot Why it matters: Cannot is normally written as one word.
- 4. Clarify the scope Original: main problems of Internet technology with possible solutions Suggested revision: main problems associated with Internet use and possible solutions Why it matters: Associated with Internet use accurately expresses the relationship between the technology and its problems.
- 5. Use concise transition Original: To commence with the problems Suggested revision: To begin with Why it matters: This concise transition avoids repeating problems immediately after the preceding sentence.
- 6. Punctuate the linker Original: Thus we Suggested revision: Thus, we Why it matters: The introductory conjunctive adverb Thus should be followed by a comma.
- 7. Use precise quantity Original: more Suggested revision: additional Why it matters: Additional more precisely describes waste added through frequent device replacement.
- 8. Complete the list Original: social media, online games, chat rooms Suggested revision: social media, online games, and chat rooms Why it matters: And is required before the final item in this subject list.
- 9. Use uncountable addiction Original: addictions Suggested revision: addiction Why it matters: Addiction is used as an uncountable general condition in this statement.
- 10. Clarify the reference Original: that obstructs people Suggested revision: this discourages people Why it matters: This refers clearly to apathy, and discourages is more natural for reduced participation.
- 11. Use natural health phrasing Original: our health condition is deteriorating Suggested revision: our health is deteriorating Why it matters: Health condition is unnatural when referring generally to population health.
- 12. Fix the idiom Original: privacy is hanging on an edge Suggested revision: privacy is under threat Why it matters: Under threat is the natural expression for privacy being endangered.
Suggested Rewrites
- interchange exchange
- the negative consequences of it its negative consequences
- can not cannot
- main problems of Internet technology with possible solutions main problems associated with Internet use and possible solutions
- To commence with the problems To begin with
- Thus we Thus, we
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response's strongest feature is its broad, relevant coverage of both questions, linking electronic waste, digital addiction, inactivity, and privacy risks to practical solutions. Its main limitation is organisational: the entire discussion appears as one dense block and relies on a succession of listing signals, while some problem-solution links remain brief. The highest priority is to divide the essay into focused paragraphs and explicitly pair each major problem with its most effective remedy.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Several main Internet-related problems and corresponding solutions are directly addressed, relevant, and sufficiently explained.
Prioritise two or three central problems and show more explicitly why each proposed measure would reduce that particular harm.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear overall movement from problems to solutions, but the single-block format and repeated listing markers weaken cohesion and readability.
Use separate paragraphs for environmental waste, social and health harms, privacy risks, and a matched set of solutions.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of topic vocabulary, but recurring unnatural collocations reduce precision in otherwise clear ideas.
Use natural phrases such as exchange information, privacy is at risk, participate in charity work, and obtain personal information.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is generally controlled, although punctuation, article use, list construction, and occasional clause links contain errors.
Check comma use in lists and ensure each long sentence has clearly connected independent and dependent clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The widespread use of the Internet has brought many problems. What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of the Internet? What solutions can you suggest?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.