Team activities can teach more skills for life than those activities which are done alone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Same question Compare 2 different answers (Band 8–8.5)

Sample Response

The belief that team activities teach more skills for life than individual activities is a topic of ongoing debate. While team activities certainly offer unique benefits, it is important to recognize that individual activities have more value and advantages. This essay disagrees with the statement and argues that individual activities can foster crucial life skills such as self-reliance, discipline, and self-motivation which are essential for a successful life.

Engaging in individual activities promotes self-reliance and independence, which are vital skills for personal growth and success. When individuals participate in activities such as painting, writing, or practising a musical instrument on their own, they learn to rely on their own abilities, make independent decisions, and take responsibility for their progress. For example, a budding artist who spends hours alone perfecting their craft learns to trust their artistic instincts and develop their unique style without relying on the input or approval of others. This cultivates resilience, self-confidence, and the ability to persevere in the face of challenges.

Individual activities also foster discipline and self-motivation. In these pursuits, individuals set personal goals, create their own schedules, and maintain consistent practice and dedication. Take the example of an aspiring athlete who engages in individual training sessions. They must discipline themselves to adhere to a rigorous training regimen, set performance targets, and push themselves beyond their comfort zones. By developing discipline and self-motivation, individuals gain the ability to prioritize tasks, manage time effectively, and strive for continuous self-improvement.

In conclusion, while team activities offer valuable opportunities for collaboration and interpersonal skills, it is crucial to recognise that individual activities offer more significant benefits for personal and professional growth. Engaging in solitary pursuits fosters self-reliance, discipline, and self-motivation, which are essential life skills.

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Make opening concise Original: a topic of ongoing debate Suggested revision: a widely debated issue Why it matters: The revision conveys the same meaning with a tighter academic expression.
  • 2. Remove redundancy Original: more value and advantages Suggested revision: greater value Why it matters: Value and advantages overlap in meaning, so one precise comparative is sufficient.
  • 3. Add relative-clause comma Original: self-motivation which are Suggested revision: self-motivation, which are Why it matters: The comma correctly marks the following clause as extra information about the listed skills.
  • 4. Avoid overlapping terms Original: promotes self-reliance and independence Suggested revision: develops independence Why it matters: Self-reliance and independence substantially overlap, so the shorter wording is more precise.
  • 5. Use natural determiner Original: their Suggested revision: a Why it matters: The indefinite article is more natural when introducing the artist's individual style.
  • 6. Improve word pairing Original: consistent practice and dedication Suggested revision: consistent practice and sustained commitment Why it matters: Sustained commitment forms a clearer parallel noun phrase with consistent practice.
  • 7. Use concise wording Original: engages in individual training sessions Suggested revision: trains independently Why it matters: The shorter verb phrase communicates the same action more directly.
  • 8. Reduce repetition Original: discipline themselves to adhere to Suggested revision: commit themselves to Why it matters: The revision avoids repeating discipline immediately after the paragraph has introduced that quality.
  • 9. Use direct verb Original: gain the ability to prioritize Suggested revision: learn to prioritize Why it matters: The direct verb phrase is more concise and natural.
  • 10. Complete the coordination Original: opportunities for collaboration and interpersonal skills Suggested revision: opportunities to develop collaboration and interpersonal skills Why it matters: The revision makes both skill areas objects of the same development phrase.
  • 11. Strengthen claim-example flow Suggested revision: Arrange the goal-setting point, athlete example, and transferable outcomes as a clear claim-example-result sequence, trimming repeated references to discipline. Why it matters: A more explicit sequence would improve progression through the paragraph's closely related points.

Suggested Rewrites

  • a topic of ongoing debate a widely debated issue
  • more value and advantages greater value
  • self-motivation which are self-motivation, which are
  • promotes self-reliance and independence develops independence
  • their a
  • consistent practice and dedication consistent practice and sustained commitment
Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 8.5

The essay’s strongest aspect is its precise, well-supported explanation of how solitary pursuits build self-reliance, discipline, and self-motivation, using apt examples that connect activities to transferable skills. Its main limitation is that the comparative claim about individual activities being more valuable is asserted more strongly than it is demonstrated against team activities. The highest priority is to add one direct comparison showing why these benefits outweigh collaboration skills.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

8.0
Scoring rule

The response states a clear disagreement and develops two substantial reasons with relevant examples, though the superiority over team activities receives limited direct comparison.

Next step

Compare one individual skill directly with a team-based counterpart and explain why it has greater value across real-life situations.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

8.5
Scoring rule

The essay is highly coherent, with focused paragraphs, clear topic sentences, and cohesive links that make the reasoning easy to follow.

Next step

Refine the introduction by removing the generic opening sentence so the argument begins more directly and economically.

LR

Lexical Resource

8.0
Scoring rule

A broad and precise academic vocabulary supports nuanced discussion, including natural phrases such as “rigorous training regimen” and “continuous self-improvement”.

Next step

Avoid small redundancies such as “more value and advantages” by selecting one exact formulation, such as “greater overall value”.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

8.5
Scoring rule

Complex sentences, relative clauses, participial structures, and pronoun reference are handled accurately and naturally throughout.

Next step

Preserve this strong control while varying the repeated subject openings based on “individuals” to increase stylistic range.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

Team activities can teach more skills for life than those activities which are done alone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Your response

Words0
40:00

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