You have a pen pal and you are writing your first letter to that pen pal. In your letter: - describe your previous studies and/or work experience - describe your current activities, hobbies and interests - tell your pen pal that you will be visiting him/her
Sample Response
Dear Ahmed, Hope this letter finds you well. I am very excited to have this opportunity to write to you as a pen pal. I hope we would become good friends. In my first letter to you, I would like to tell you about my education, job and hobbies. I completed my graduation from the University of Edinvera in 2020 and my major was data engineering. Afterwards, I joined the multinational company - Siemens, as a data analyst. I still work there and I really enjoy my job. I like to explore the world and meet new people to know about their traditions and lifestyle. So far I had been to more than 10 countries and planning to visit Italy this summer. I am health conscious and regularly take part in physical activities. For this reason, I am an active member of the renowned fitness centre ‘Shape’. I hope we would be able to extend our friendship and become good buddies. I would be glad to meet you in person sometime in the middle of next year when I will be visiting your country. Warm regards, Fahad Sultan
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add the subject Original: Hope this letter finds you well Suggested revision: I hope this letter finds you well Why it matters: The opening sentence requires the subject I.
- 2. Use future modal Original: would Suggested revision: will Why it matters: Will is appropriate for a hoped-for future friendship.
- 3. Use concise reference Original: In my first letter to you Suggested revision: In this first letter Why it matters: The shorter phrase avoids repeating to you.
- 4. Use parallel categories Original: education, job and hobbies Suggested revision: education, work, and hobbies Why it matters: Work is the natural general category alongside education and hobbies.
- 5. Correct the collocation Original: completed my graduation from Suggested revision: graduated from Why it matters: Graduated from is the idiomatic expression for completing a degree.
- 6. Use the correct verb Original: my major was data engineering Suggested revision: I majored in data engineering Why it matters: Majored in is the natural structure for naming a university field of study.
- 7. Emphasise continuity Original: still work there Suggested revision: continue to work there Why it matters: Continue to work clearly links the past appointment to the writer's current employment.
- 8. Remove intensifier Original: really enjoy my job Suggested revision: enjoy my job Why it matters: Enjoy already conveys a positive attitude without the vague intensifier.
- 9. Use natural wording Original: explore Suggested revision: travel Why it matters: Travel the world is the standard expression for visiting many countries.
- 10. Correct the collocation Original: know Suggested revision: learn Why it matters: Learn about is the natural expression for gaining cultural knowledge.
- 11. Use plural agreement Original: lifestyle Suggested revision: lifestyles Why it matters: The plural people have multiple traditions and lifestyles.
- 12. Use present perfect Original: So far I had been Suggested revision: So far, I have been Why it matters: So far requires the present perfect for experience up to the present, and the introductory phrase needs a comma.
Suggested Rewrites
- Hope this letter finds you well I hope this letter finds you well
- would will
- In my first letter to you In this first letter
- education, job and hobbies education, work, and hobbies
- completed my graduation from graduated from
- my major was data engineering I majored in data engineering
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter has a friendly, suitable tone and balances education, current employment, travel interests, fitness activities, and a reasonably specific plan to visit in the middle of next year. Its strongest feature is complete and relevant task coverage. The main limitation is language control, especially tense choice and several unnatural study and travel expressions. Prioritise accurate present-perfect forms and natural descriptions of qualifications, experience, and future plans.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All bullet points are clearly addressed with relevant personal details and a definite intention to visit during the middle of next year.
Add the likely month or duration of the visit and suggest one activity to enjoy together.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter progresses naturally from introduction to education, work, hobbies, and the future visit, maintaining an appropriate conversational flow.
Use short paragraphs for background, interests, and visit plans so each topic is easier for the pen pal to follow.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for an informal introduction, though phrases such as ‘completed my graduation’ and ‘know about their lifestyle’ are unnatural.
Use ‘graduated’, ‘majored in’, ‘learn about different cultures’, ‘travelled to’, and ‘fitness club’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of structures is attempted, but recurring tense, auxiliary, article, and sentence-completion errors reduce accuracy.
Use ‘I have been to more than ten countries and am planning’ and choose ‘hope we will’ for future expectations.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have a pen pal and you are writing your first letter to that pen pal. In your letter:
- describe your previous studies and/or work experience
- describe your current activities, hobbies and interests
- tell your pen pal that you will be visiting him/her
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.