You have stayed at a friend’s house last weekend and forgot your watch there. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: - thank him/her for the hospitality - describe your watch and say where you could have left it - suggest a way how to get it back
Sample Response
Dear Harish, I hope this letter finds you in good health. I would like to take this opportunity to express my gratitude for my stay at your home in Adelaide last weekend. I had a pleasant time over there and I can not thank you enough for the genuine hospitality you have offered me. Adelaide is an interesting place for shopping and a diverse range of shopping malls are located there. I bought a brand new Rolex wristwatch for my wife from Rundle street shopping centre keeping her approaching birthday in mind. I was actually tempted by the fascinating brown colour strap and square-shaped dial. The dial has roman numbers too. I am very excited about it. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find it in my luggage when I got back to Sydney. I remember keeping it in your living room- probably in a drawer of the large table. I want to gift it to my wife on her birthday next week and surprise her. However, this can be possible only if you take the burden to send it to my address. Actually, James Brown - one of my colleagues, is travelling to Sydney from your place this weekend. I can request him to collect it from your house. He lives just a couple of miles away from your apartment. I will pass your address and contact number to him. I think you can hand it over to him without any trouble. I hope to see you soon in Sydney. Warm wishes, Navaretta
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: hospitality you have offered me Suggested revision: hospitality you showed me Why it matters: Showed me is a more natural collocation for hospitality in this personal letter.
- 2. Capitalize the place name Original: Rundle street shopping centre Suggested revision: Rundle Street Shopping Centre Why it matters: All main words in this proper place name require capitalization.
- 3. Use the correct adjective Original: keeping her approaching birthday in mind Suggested revision: with her upcoming birthday in mind Why it matters: Upcoming, rather than approaching, naturally modifies birthday in this context.
- 4. Describe the strap naturally Original: fascinating brown colour strap Suggested revision: attractive brown strap Why it matters: This is a more natural and concise description of the watch strap.
- 5. Use the standard term Original: roman numbers Suggested revision: Roman numerals Why it matters: Roman numerals is the correct term for the symbols on the dial.
- 6. Fix the collocation Original: take the burden Suggested revision: go to the trouble Why it matters: Go to the trouble is the natural expression for asking someone to make this effort.
- 7. Punctuate the appositive Original: James Brown - one of my colleagues, Suggested revision: James Brown, one of my colleagues, Why it matters: A nonessential appositive should be enclosed by matching commas.
- 8. Remove redundant wording Original: over there Suggested revision: there Why it matters: There is sufficient because Adelaide has already been identified as the location.
- 9. Hyphenate the modifier Original: brand new Suggested revision: brand-new Why it matters: The compound modifier before wristwatch should be hyphenated.
- 10. Choose natural wording Original: was actually tempted Suggested revision: was particularly attracted Why it matters: Attracted more naturally describes the watch features that influenced the purchase.
- 11. Use a proper dash Original: living room- probably Suggested revision: living room—probably Why it matters: An em dash correctly marks the interruption before the probable location.
- 12. Fix the verb phrase Original: can Suggested revision: will Why it matters: Can be possible is redundant, while will be possible expresses the condition clearly.
Suggested Rewrites
- hospitality you have offered me hospitality you showed me
- Rundle street shopping centre Rundle Street Shopping Centre
- keeping her approaching birthday in mind with her upcoming birthday in mind
- fascinating brown colour strap attractive brown strap
- roman numbers Roman numerals
- take the burden go to the trouble
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter successfully addresses every bullet point with a friendly, appropriate tone, giving a precise watch description, a plausible location, and a practical collection arrangement. Its main limitation is presentation as one dense paragraph, compounded by a few awkward expressions and minor grammatical slips. The highest-priority improvement is to divide the letter into clear functional paragraphs and replace unnatural phrases with simpler, idiomatic wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The communicative purpose is fully achieved, with all three bullet points clearly and appropriately developed in a friendly register.
Keep the supporting shopping detail slightly more concise so the request and retrieval arrangement remain the central focus.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from thanks to description, location, and collection, but the entire letter is presented as one dense paragraph.
Use separate paragraphs for the opening thanks, the watch and likely location, and the proposed collection plan.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, particularly when describing the watch and collection arrangements, despite several unnatural collocations.
Replace awkward phrases such as approaching birthday and take the burden with natural alternatives such as upcoming birthday and arrange to send it.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The letter uses a broad range of mostly accurate sentence structures, with occasional agreement, capitalization, punctuation, and phrasing errors.
Proofread subject-verb agreement, proper nouns, parenthetical punctuation, and constructions such as this will be possible rather than this can be possible.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have stayed at a friend’s house last weekend and forgot your watch there. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter:
- thank him/her for the hospitality
- describe your watch and say where you could have left it
- suggest a way how to get it back
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.