You recently visited a tourist attraction and you were very pleased with the help given to you by the staff. Write a letter to the head of staff at the tourist attraction. In your letter: - give details of the circumstances of your visit - describe the help given to you by the staff - say what you want the head staff to do
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I have recently visited the famous Vinevasi Waterfall after learning it from a friend and took your service for the tour. The service I was offered was excellent and I would like to thank you for that. I was not exactly planning to visit the waterfall, but, then I had to travel to Kuala Lumpur suddenly for a business trip, and that is when I remembered what my friend had told me about your tourist place. So, after finishing my work, I decided to visit your beautiful tourist attraction for a couple of days. But, after arriving there, I asked myself why I had not planned for a longer stay because all of your staff members were very courteous and friendly. They did not just make sure that I was comfortable on the tourist bus and at the hotel, but also made sure my belongings were kept in the right place. They took me to the best local restaurant and informed me a great deal about the history of the place. I would like to thank you. Also, please convey my good wishes to your staff. I would like to mention that, after talking to some staff members, I felt like they were not getting enough time off from their works. So, I would be glad if you try to address that issue to make sure that they feel appreciated even more for what they do. Yours faithfully, Rogerio Frugardo
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use receive collocation Original: The service I was offered Suggested revision: The service I received Why it matters: A visitor receives service rather than is offered the service already provided.
- 2. Use clear pronoun Original: that Suggested revision: it Why it matters: 'It' refers directly to the singular service described in the preceding clause.
- 3. Remove misplaced comma Original: but, then Suggested revision: but then Why it matters: A comma must not separate the conjunction 'but' from the adverb 'then'.
- 4. Place manner naturally Original: travel to Kuala Lumpur suddenly Suggested revision: travel unexpectedly to Kuala Lumpur Why it matters: 'Unexpectedly' expresses the unplanned trip more naturally in this position.
- 5. Use attraction term Original: your tourist place Suggested revision: the attraction Why it matters: 'Attraction' is the precise and suitably formal term for the waterfall site.
- 6. Remove conversational linker Original: So, after finishing my work Suggested revision: After finishing my work Why it matters: The time phrase already links the decision clearly, so the conversational 'So' is unnecessary.
- 7. Use correct transition Original: But Suggested revision: However Why it matters: 'However' introduces the contrast without the incorrect comma after 'But'.
- 8. Remove extra preposition Original: planned for a longer stay Suggested revision: planned a longer stay Why it matters: The verb 'plan' takes the noun phrase 'a longer stay' directly here.
- 9. Use concise staff phrase Original: all of your staff members Suggested revision: all your staff members Why it matters: The word 'of' is unnecessary before a possessive determiner in this phrase.
- 10. Use tell collocation Original: informed Suggested revision: told Why it matters: 'Tell someone about something' is the natural pattern for sharing historical information.
- 11. Request a specific action Original: convey my good wishes Suggested revision: convey my thanks Why it matters: This tells the head of staff exactly what appreciation to pass on to the employees.
- 12. Use formal reporting clause Original: like Suggested revision: that Why it matters: 'Felt that' is the appropriate formal structure for reporting this impression.
Suggested Rewrites
- The service I was offered The service I received
- that it
- but, then but then
- travel to Kuala Lumpur suddenly travel unexpectedly to Kuala Lumpur
- your tourist place the attraction
- So, after finishing my work After finishing my work
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter responds fully to the situation, giving clear visit circumstances, several concrete examples of staff assistance, and specific actions for the manager in an appropriately formal tone. The main weakness is linguistic polish: awkward collocations, repetitive linking, and the single-paragraph layout occasionally make the response less natural. Grouping the visit, assistance, and requested action into separate paragraphs while refining word choice would create a more fluent and professional letter.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are clearly and specifically addressed in a consistently suitable formal letter.
State the requested managerial action a little more directly to make the closing purpose even sharper.
Coherence and Cohesion
The narrative and request progress clearly, but one long paragraph and repetitive use of ‘But’ and ‘So’ weaken cohesion.
Organise the circumstances, staff help, and requested action into three focused paragraphs with smoother transitions.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of relevant vocabulary, but several awkward collocations reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace phrases such as ‘took your service’, ‘tourist place’, and ‘their works’ with idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence structures are varied and mostly accurate, although punctuation and conditional control show occasional lapses.
Remove unnecessary commas after linkers and use an appropriate conditional form in ‘I would be glad if you tried’.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You recently visited a tourist attraction and you were very pleased with the help given to you by the staff. Write a letter to the head of staff at the tourist attraction. In your letter:
- give details of the circumstances of your visit
- describe the help given to you by the staff
- say what you want the head staff to do
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.