You are currently doing a diploma course at a college, but you need to take a week off during this course. Write a letter to the college Principal. In your letter: - give details of your course - explain why you need a week off - say what you want the Principal to do
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
My name is James Read, and I am currently attending the hospitality management diploma course as a final year student at your esteemed culinary institute. I am supposed to finish the course in the next four months if everything goes on schedule.
I am writing this letter to request some time off from this course from 14th of August to 20st of August as I need to leave the town for a week in order to take my seriously ill and old aunt to the capital city of our country immediately for better treatment. By the way, my aunt does not have any children or husband who could actually help her during this kind of desperate situation. Of course, I tried to approach the respectable chairman of my course, but he referred me to you since he does not really have the authority to grant any leave to anyone at this critical and important stage of the course for such a long period.
Therefore, I would like to request you to ask the chairman of my course to consider my situation favourably and grant me leave for the stipulated period of time mentioned above. I will be much obliged to your kindness.
Yours faithfully,
James Read
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name course naturally Original: the hospitality management diploma course Suggested revision: a diploma course in hospitality management Why it matters: This is the more natural structure for naming the programme.
- 2. Hyphenate compound adjective Original: as a final year student Suggested revision: as a final-year student Why it matters: The compound modifier before 'student' requires a hyphen.
- 3. Use neutral institution name Original: esteemed culinary institute Suggested revision: culinary college Why it matters: The neutral term matches the task and avoids excessive deference in a formal request.
- 4. State duration directly Original: in the next four months Suggested revision: in four months Why it matters: This is the more natural expression for the remaining course duration.
- 5. Improve schedule collocation Original: if everything goes on schedule Suggested revision: provided everything remains on schedule Why it matters: 'Remain on schedule' is the natural collocation for continued timely progress.
- 6. Correct ordinal ending Original: 20st Suggested revision: 20th Why it matters: The ordinal form of twenty is '20th', not '20st'.
- 7. Remove unnecessary article Original: leave the town Suggested revision: leave town Why it matters: The idiomatic expression 'leave town' does not take an article.
- 8. Improve adjective order Original: seriously ill and old aunt Suggested revision: elderly, seriously ill aunt Why it matters: The revision uses a more respectful age term and a clearer adjective order.
- 9. Use formal transition Original: By the way Suggested revision: In addition Why it matters: The conversational aside is unsuitable in a formal request to the Principal.
- 10. Correct coordinated nouns Original: does not have any children or husband Suggested revision: has neither children nor a husband Why it matters: The revision supplies the required article and expresses the negative coordination cleanly.
- 11. Remove unnecessary intensifier Original: could actually help Suggested revision: could help Why it matters: 'Actually' adds no useful meaning to this formal explanation.
- 12. Moderate emotive phrasing Original: this kind of desperate situation Suggested revision: this difficult situation Why it matters: The revision remains clear while using a more measured formal tone.
Suggested Rewrites
- the hospitality management diploma course a diploma course in hospitality management
- as a final year student as a final-year student
- esteemed culinary institute culinary college
- in the next four months in four months
- if everything goes on schedule provided everything remains on schedule
- 20st 20th
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter clearly explains the course, the compassionate reason for the absence, and the action requested, using an appropriately formal tone and logical paragraphing. Its strongest feature is the detailed justification for the leave, but several expressions are overly wordy or unnatural. More concise phrasing, accurate ordinal forms, and more idiomatic collocations would improve precision and professional impact.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are addressed with relevant detail, and the request and formal purpose remain clear throughout.
State the requested approval more directly rather than asking the Principal to ask the course chairman to grant it.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised into clear functional paragraphs, with progression from course details to the reason and request.
Shorten the heavily extended middle paragraph so the key reason and supporting detail are easier to absorb.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of formal vocabulary, but awkward collocations and redundant combinations reduce naturalness.
Replace phrases such as 'respectable chairman' and 'much obliged to your kindness' with concise, idiomatic formal language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer uses varied complex structures with generally clear meaning, though several local errors and cumbersome constructions remain.
Correct forms such as '20st' and simplify long clauses to improve grammatical precision and readability.