People are not paying attention to environmental protection. What is the cause and suggest solutions to deal with this issue.
Sample Response
The focus of human civilisation has shifted from nurturing our natural habitat to exploiting it for personal gains. The dependence on natural resources has become so intensive that we have overused them to the point of extinction. Moreover, if the already atrocious environmental conditions are not improved, the survival of our species will be at risk. In the following paragraphs, I will address the prime causes for this negligence towards our environment and suggest possible solutions to this issue.
The roots of this tendency to capitalize on the natural world without any regard for the long-term repercussions that mankind has adopted over the last few decades are varied in nature. One of the chief ideals that are highly prevalent in the present society that perpetrate these actions is capitalism. The surge in demand for better food, clothing, materials and general standard of living has boosted global economic activity to such a degree that preserving the limited resources available to humanity has taken a second place to consumerism.
Nevertheless, there are still avenues available to save and protect our ecosystem before it is dilapidated beyond repair. First and foremost, measures have to be taken to bring about a general awareness among the people about the appalling environmental circumstances that we are suffering from in this day and age. Furthermore, governments of nations worldwide have to tighten the administration and impose more stringent environmental laws so that the generation and disposal of waste are checked properly.
To sum up, the grave and deteriorating condition of the environment is known to all of human civilisation. Presently, the burden on nature is so great that issues like climate change and the degrading quality of elements like air and water are more significant than ever before. It is necessary to take corrective actions immediately to curb the further decline of the living world.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct the preposition Original: for Suggested revision: of Why it matters: The noun “causes” takes “of” when identifying the source of a problem.
- 2. Choose a precise noun Original: negligence towards our environment Suggested revision: neglect of our environment Why it matters: “Neglect of” more directly expresses the failure to protect the environment.
- 3. Fix list structure Original: better food, clothing, materials and general standard of living Suggested revision: better food, clothing and materials, and a higher standard of living Why it matters: The revised wording adds the required article and makes the coordinated list grammatically parallel.
- 4. Correct the idiom Original: has taken a second place Suggested revision: has taken second place Why it matters: The fixed expression is “take second place” without an article.
- 5. Use an environmental term Original: dilapidated beyond repair Suggested revision: degraded beyond recovery Why it matters: “Dilapidated” usually describes buildings, while “degraded” suits an ecosystem.
- 6. Use concise wording Original: bring about a general awareness among the people about Suggested revision: raise public awareness of Why it matters: This concise collocation expresses the same idea more naturally.
- 7. Clarify enforcement Original: tighten the administration Suggested revision: strengthen enforcement Why it matters: Laws are enforced rather than made effective by “tightening the administration.”
- 8. Use precise wording Original: are checked properly Suggested revision: are properly controlled Why it matters: “Controlled” states the intended regulatory action more precisely than “checked.”
- 9. Improve the collocation Original: known to all of human civilisation Suggested revision: known throughout human civilisation Why it matters: “Throughout” forms a more natural expression for something widely recognised.
- 10. Use measured language Original: atrocious Suggested revision: severe Why it matters: “Severe” communicates the seriousness more precisely in an academic register.
- 11. Use an intransitive structure Original: are not improved Suggested revision: do not improve Why it matters: The intransitive verb correctly describes environmental conditions changing for the better.
- 12. Use direct wording Original: avenues available Suggested revision: ways Why it matters: “Ways” is more direct and avoids the redundant combination of “avenues” and “available.”
Suggested Rewrites
- for of
- negligence towards our environment neglect of our environment
- better food, clothing, materials and general standard of living better food, clothing and materials, and a higher standard of living
- has taken a second place has taken second place
- dilapidated beyond repair degraded beyond recovery
- bring about a general awareness among the people about raise public awareness of
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its clear organization and mature vocabulary, with a coherent cause-to-solution progression. Its main limitation is that both the explanation of consumerism and the proposed responses remain broad and assertion-led, while several ambitious collocations sound unnatural. The highest-priority improvement is to develop each central idea with a concrete causal explanation or example and use more precise, idiomatic phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both causes and solutions with relevant central ideas, although their support remains general rather than fully extended.
Develop each main cause and solution with a specific mechanism, consequence, or illustrative example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and cause-to-solution sequence are logical, with clear progression despite occasional heavy sentence construction.
Use shorter topic sentences and more natural transitions so the progression remains effortless within paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A broad vocabulary conveys the argument effectively, but several ambitious collocations are imprecise or unnatural.
Prioritize idiomatic combinations such as enforcing environmental regulations and environmental degradation over inflated wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex structures is generally well controlled, with only occasional agreement and clause-construction problems.
Check subject-verb agreement and simplify overextended relative clauses to improve accuracy and clarity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People are not paying attention to environmental protection. What is the cause and suggest solutions to deal with this issue.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.