People are not paying attention to environmental protection. What is the cause and suggest solutions to deal with this issue.

Same questionCompare 2 different answers (Band 7)

Sample Response

1

The environment is calling our name worldwide, especially with the frequent occurrence of natural disasters from tsunamistsunami to earthquakes. These are acknowledged threatsThat is the acknowledged threat to the survival of humankind, but the truth remains that people seem to be occupied with other concerns rather than the taskbusy with something else, rather than the mission of salvaging the world before it is too late. Reasons for people’s blatant disregard for this issueblatant ignorance of this fact vary for both subjective and objective reasonsare various, subjectively and objectively.

2

Governments are partly to be condemned for their lack of serious effort and radical enforcement of environmental protection lawslaw enforcement on environment protection. The fact is people around the globe are still releasing a huge amount of waste, without being heavily penalized or get away with this, perhaps by simply lobbying the government or bribing some key figures in the authorities. Also, despite the fact that authorities are urging people to useurging people into using environmentally friendly products and to join campaigns that keepenvironment-friendly products and campaigns to keep the environment clean, ironically, they are, simultaneously, allowing businessesbusinessmen to produce as many cars as possible and advertisers to spur consumerism among people, which is undeniably the catalyst for the rapid increase in air pollutionthe booming of air pollution and premature depletion of natural resourcesearly exhaustion of natural resources.

3

Objectively, economic imbalance between nations is another cause of people’s limited attention to environmental protectionanother culprit of people’s little attention to save the environment. While some nations achieve economic prosperitypass their economic heights, being willing to voice their protests against any action dirtying the environment, others are too hectic with the pressures of povertyprodding call of poverty and illiteracy of citizens and find themselves focused on priorities that differ from thoseat variance with priorities of the developed world. In this case, any attempt to slow down the development of poorer nationsdevelopment of the latter proves paradoxical, and for that reason, our environment stays fully exploited. The painful truth is that the inherent basic instinct of people, after all, is to feed themselves as much as possible, taking precedencetaking the precedence over doing something for a long-term purposefor long-term purpose, say, environmental conservation.

4

Solutions to this pressing issuehead-aching issue are suggested. Drastic measures implemented by governments to minimize pollution are the prohibition of excessive resource exploitationprohibition of natural exploitation above the limit, discouragement of private means of transportation, and establishment of international treaties, for instance, Kyoto. Nevertheless, this means no worth if each citizen, himself or herself, pays no heed. Long-term remedies, educational programs to raise people’s awareness of environment protection are strongly recommended. It would be such an effective method to inculcate in our little children the immediate consequences of environmental damage, by introducing the environment protection as the mandatory subject at school and frequently showing videos of environment hazards on television everywhere.

5

To conclude, I strongly believe that once these threats caused by environmental degradation are deeply embedded in our minds, especially children's, our environment will soon be away from jeopardy and our world will be green again.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response addresses both causes and solutions with a clear structure, substantial development, and an impressively broad vocabulary. Its impact is weakened by overstated or imprecise claims and a recurring pattern of unnatural collocations and grammatical slips in ambitious sentences; the highest priority is to express each causal link and proposed measure in more precise, idiomatic language while trimming rhetorical excess.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TR

Task Response

7.0
Scoring rule

Both causes and solutions are directly addressed through several developed ideas, though some claims and proposed measures remain broad or insufficiently substantiated.

Next step

Explain more concretely how each proposed policy would address the identified cause and avoid relying on sweeping assertions about governments or nations.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Scoring rule

The essay progresses clearly from causes to solutions, with effective paragraphing, although some long sentences and conspicuous linking expressions interrupt the flow.

Next step

Strengthen internal progression by shortening overloaded sentences and using connectors only where the logical relationship is not already clear.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Scoring rule

A wide range of topic-specific and less common vocabulary is used, but noticeable miscollocations and strained phrasing reduce precision and naturalness.

Next step

Replace expressions such as head-aching issue and away from jeopardy with idiomatic, exact wording, and check that ambitious vocabulary fits its context.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0
Scoring rule

The response uses varied complex structures with generally clear control, while recurring problems with coordination, articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries remain noticeable.

Next step

Proofread complex sentences for parallel verb forms and complete clause structure, particularly around coordinated verbs and appositive phrases.

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IELTS Writing Task 2

People are not paying attention to environmental protection. What is the cause and suggest solutions to deal with this issue.

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