It is becoming very common these days for students to take online courses over the internet instead of in face-to-face classrooms. Why are more students choosing this way of learning? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Sample Response
In contemporary times, a noticeable shift has occurred in the realm of education as an increasing number of students opt for online courses delivered over the Internet as opposed to traditional face-to-face classroom settings. This trend has been propelled by several factors, and while it has some advantages, I believe it is a negative trend.
One of the primary reasons behind the surge in online learning is the convenience it offers. Students can access course materials, lectures, and assignments from the comfort of their homes, eliminating the need for physical attendance in classrooms. This flexibility is particularly appealing to individuals juggling multiple commitments, such as part-time jobs or familial responsibilities. For instance, a working mother pursuing a degree can attend lectures and complete assignments during her child’s nap time, without commuting to a university campus.
Another factor contributing to the popularity of online learning is the vast array of courses and subjects available at the click of a button. Through online platforms, students can access courses offered by prestigious institutions globally, granting them exposure to a wider range of educational resources that might not be available locally. For instance, a high school student residing in a rural area with limited educational resources might aspire to delve into computer programming, a subject not typically offered at local institutions. But, through online learning platforms such as Coursera or edX, they can enrol in specialized courses developed by renowned universities like MIT or Stanford.
Despite these advantages, there are certain drawbacks associated with the proliferation of online courses which I consider a negative development. One notable concern is the lack of direct interaction between students and educators. Traditional classrooms facilitate face-to-face discussions, debates, and immediate feedback, fostering a more engaging learning environment. Online courses may sometimes lack this interactive element, impacting students' ability to collaborate, ask questions, and engage in real-time discussions. For example, a student enrolled in an online course may struggle to clarify complex topics immediately due to the absence of real-time discussions with instructors or peers, which could hinder their overall understanding.
In conclusion, while the rise of online courses has revolutionized the education landscape, offering convenience and a vast range of educational options, it also brings forth challenges related to limited direct interaction which make it a negative development.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. More direct opener Original: In contemporary times Suggested revision: Today Why it matters: Today conveys the same time reference more naturally and concisely.
- 2. Avoid wordiness Original: in the realm of education Suggested revision: in education Why it matters: The shorter phrase preserves the meaning and suits the academic context.
- 3. Simplify contrast Original: as opposed to traditional face-to-face classroom settings Suggested revision: rather than in traditional face-to-face classrooms Why it matters: Rather than expresses the contrast more directly and naturally.
- 4. Direct verb choice Original: has been propelled by several factors Suggested revision: is driven by several factors Why it matters: Is driven is a clearer and less inflated way to introduce the causes.
- 5. Natural phrasing Original: physical attendance in classrooms Suggested revision: attending classes in person Why it matters: The revision uses a more natural expression for face-to-face attendance.
- 6. Common collocation Original: familial Suggested revision: family Why it matters: Family responsibilities is the standard collocation in this context.
- 7. Remove unnecessary comma Original: nap time, without commuting Suggested revision: nap time without commuting Why it matters: The comma unnecessarily separates the modifying phrase from the main clause.
- 8. Avoid cliché Original: at the click of a button Suggested revision: with ease Why it matters: With ease states the accessibility point more concisely and less formulaically.
- 9. Natural word order Original: globally Suggested revision: worldwide Why it matters: Worldwide is more naturally placed after institutions in this sentence.
- 10. Natural academic phrasing Original: aspire to delve into computer programming Suggested revision: want to study computer programming Why it matters: The revision avoids an unnecessarily elaborate expression while preserving the intended meaning.
- 11. Remove faulty linker Original: But, through online learning platforms Suggested revision: Through online learning platforms Why it matters: But does not mark a contrast here, and the following comma is also unnecessary.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: Despite these advantages, there are certain drawbacks associated with the proliferation of online courses which I consider a negative development. Suggested revision: Despite these advantages, the proliferation of online courses has drawbacks that make it, in my view, a negative development. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the ambiguous relative clause and clearly links the judgement to the overall trend.
Suggested Rewrites
- In contemporary times Today
- in the realm of education in education
- as opposed to traditional face-to-face classroom settings rather than in traditional face-to-face classrooms
- has been propelled by several factors is driven by several factors
- physical attendance in classrooms attending classes in person
- familial family
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its detailed explanation of why students choose online learning, using relevant examples and a clear, logical structure. Its main limitation is that the negative judgement rests on one drawback without fully weighing it against the two substantial advantages already presented. The highest-priority improvement is to explain why reduced direct interaction outweighs convenience and wider course access, or to qualify the conclusion accordingly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered with a clear position, and the reasons for choosing online learning are thoroughly developed.
Develop the evaluative comparison so the final negative judgement is convincingly reconciled with the benefits discussed earlier.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses clearly from causes to evaluation, with focused paragraphs and generally natural cohesion.
Strengthen the transition into the drawback paragraph by explicitly linking it to the preceding advantages and overall judgement.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, topic-appropriate, and precise, with effective language for education, accessibility, and interaction.
Prefer simpler wording where expressions such as broad landscape metaphors or elevated verbs add formality without extra precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are varied and well controlled, with only minor punctuation and attachment awkwardness.
Refine punctuation around sentence-initial connectors and make relative-clause references unambiguously attach to their intended nouns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is becoming very common these days for students to take online courses over the internet instead of in face-to-face classrooms. Why are more students choosing this way of learning? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.