In many countries, the tradition of families having meals together is disappearing. Why is this happening? What will be the effect of this on the family and society?
Sample Response
In many countries, the practice of families having meals together is becoming less and less common. There are various reasons for this trend, and the effects on both the family and society could be significant. This essay deals with the reason for this changing trend and its effects on families and society as a whole.
One reason why families are no longer having meals together is the busy lifestyles of parents and children. With long working hours, school, and extracurricular activities, it can be difficult to coordinate schedules to ensure that everyone is home at the same time for dinner. Additionally, the prevalence of fast food and takeout options makes it easier to eat on the go rather than sitting down for a meal at the table.
The effects of this trend could be damaging to both the family and society. Family mealtimes provide a crucial opportunity for members to connect and communicate with one another. Without these shared experiences, family bonds may weaken and communication skills may suffer. Furthermore, eating alone or on the go can lead to unhealthy eating habits, which could contribute to health problems such as obesity.
On a societal level, the disappearance of family mealtimes could have broader effects. It could contribute to the breakdown of communities as families become more isolated and less connected to their neighbours. Additionally, research has shown that children who have regular family mealtimes are more likely to have better academic performance and social skills, which could have an impact on society as a whole.
In conclusion, the decline in family mealtimes is a concerning trend that has several potential negative effects. Families need to make an effort to prioritize and maintain this tradition, despite the challenges of busy schedules and easy access to fast food options.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise trend phrase Original: less and less common Suggested revision: increasingly uncommon Why it matters: The revision expresses the declining frequency more concisely.
- 2. Use general plural Original: effects on both the family and society Suggested revision: effects on both families and society Why it matters: Families is more natural when referring generally to households across many countries.
- 3. Use academic verb Original: deals with Suggested revision: examines Why it matters: Examines states the essay's analytical purpose more precisely.
- 4. Use plural reason Original: the reason for this changing trend Suggested revision: the reasons for this change Why it matters: Reasons must be plural because the essay explicitly refers to various causes.
- 5. Use precise schedule term Original: the busy lifestyles of parents and children Suggested revision: the demanding schedules of parents and children Why it matters: Demanding schedules links more directly to the difficulty of coordinating mealtimes.
- 6. Use availability collocation Original: prevalence of fast food and takeout options Suggested revision: widespread availability of fast food and takeout options Why it matters: Availability naturally describes easy access to these food choices.
- 7. Use concise adjective Original: damaging to both the family and society Suggested revision: harmful to both families and society Why it matters: Harmful is more concise, and families suits the general reference.
- 8. Specify family members Original: members to connect and communicate Suggested revision: family members to connect and communicate Why it matters: Adding family makes the participants explicit and avoids a vague noun.
- 9. Clarify the effect Original: communication skills may suffer Suggested revision: family communication may decline Why it matters: The revision refers specifically to communication within the family rather than general skills.
- 10. Avoid overstatement Original: breakdown Suggested revision: weakening Why it matters: Weakening matches the gradual isolation described without implying complete collapse.
- 11. Remove double comparison Original: more likely to have better academic performance Suggested revision: more likely to perform better academically Why it matters: The revision avoids stacking more likely with have better performance.
Suggested Rewrites
- less and less common increasingly uncommon
- effects on both the family and society effects on both families and society
- deals with examines
- the reason for this changing trend the reasons for this change
- the busy lifestyles of parents and children the demanding schedules of parents and children
- prevalence of fast food and takeout options widespread availability of fast food and takeout options
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response's strongest feature is its complete and balanced treatment of the causes and the effects on both families and wider society, supported by clear explanations of scheduling pressures, food habits, communication, health, and community connection. Its main limitation is modest repetition between the introduction and conclusion and reliance on a general research claim. The priority is to deepen one societal mechanism or example while trimming formulaic restatement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are fully addressed through relevant, well-developed causes and distinct family and societal consequences.
Strengthen the societal discussion with a more specific explanation of how weaker family interaction could affect community participation or children's development.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and progression are highly clear, with each section moving logically from causes to family effects, societal effects, and conclusion.
Reduce repetition of the task wording in the introduction and conclusion to make the progression even more concise.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and consistently appropriate for discussing schedules, eating habits, relationships, health, and social effects.
Replace a few repeated terms such as "effects" and "family mealtimes" with carefully chosen alternatives where useful.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of simple and complex structures is used accurately, with strong control of punctuation and agreement.
As a refinement, vary the repeated conditional pattern with more direct causal structures in one or two sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, the tradition of families having meals together is disappearing. Why is this happening? What will be the effect of this on the family and society?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.