Five months ago, you started renting an apartment on a six-month agreement. You now wish to stay in the apartment for longer than the six months you originally agreed with the owner. Write a letter to the owner of your apartment. In your letter: - Say how long you now want to rent the apartment for - Explain why your plans have changed - Tell the owner about a problem in the apartment
Sample Response
Dear Mr. Keylon!
Apporoximately half of year, I started renting an accomodation, with agreement about staying here for six months. At present time I want to explain my current situation and further fate my living in this place.
At the start I want emphasizeI would like to extend my rental agreement, because my exchange standing abroud be transferred to the next year, so I need discuss with you about an apartment and others not less important things. Firstly, problem with balkony, the floor there are too ancient, so I'm advising to change it for comforting and mainly safely using. Moreover, the problem with neighbours still exist, they drink a lot,and yell to loud yet. Secondly, the issue with the sink in the kitchen, a clogged drain worried me from time to time, so it will be great if you will involve specialist for it.
In the end, I honestly acnowledge, that would be stay in this apartment for a long time, I look forward to your positive response. Thank you for your understanding!
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Incorrect salutation punctuation Original: Dear Mr. Keylon! Suggested revision: Dear Mr. Keylon, Why it matters: A comma is standard after the salutation in a semi-formal or formal letter.
- 2. Spelling error Original: Apporoximately Suggested revision: Approximately Why it matters: The word is misspelled with an extra 'o'.
- 3. Incorrect time expression Original: half of year Suggested revision: half a year ago Why it matters: Use 'half a year ago' to indicate a past starting point.
- 4. Spelling error Original: accomodation Suggested revision: accommodation Why it matters: Accommodation is spelled with a double 'm'.
- 5. Missing article Original: with agreement Suggested revision: with an agreement Why it matters: The singular countable noun 'agreement' requires an article here.
- 6. Unnatural phrasing Original: further fate my living Suggested revision: the future of my tenancy Why it matters: 'Fate' is overly dramatic and inappropriate for a rental agreement context.
- 7. Typographical error Original: want emphasizeI would like Suggested revision: want to emphasize that I would like Why it matters: The text contains merged words and missing grammatical connectors.
- 8. Incorrect verb form Original: abroud be transferred Suggested revision: abroad has been transferred Why it matters: The spelling should be 'abroad' and the verb requires a proper auxiliary form.
- 9. Missing infinitive particle Original: need discuss Suggested revision: need to discuss Why it matters: The verb 'need' must be followed by a to-infinitive.
- 10. Subject-verb agreement Original: floor there are Suggested revision: floor there is Why it matters: The singular noun 'floor' requires the singular verb 'is'.
- 11. Awkward word choice Original: safely using Suggested revision: safe use Why it matters: Using the noun phrase 'safe use' is more natural than the adverb-gerund combination.
- 12. Subject-verb agreement Original: still exist Suggested revision: still exists Why it matters: The singular subject 'problem' requires the singular verb form 'exists'.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Mr. Keylon! Dear Mr. Keylon,
- Apporoximately Approximately
- half of year half a year ago
- accomodation accommodation
- with agreement with an agreement
- further fate my living the future of my tenancy
Why this response received Band 5.5
The letter successfully addresses the prompt's core requirements, but the overall impact is weakened by frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. While the reasons for the change in plans and the apartment problems are mentioned, the exact duration of the requested extension remains vague. Prioritizing grammatical accuracy and precise vocabulary will significantly improve the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
All bullet points are addressed, but the response fails to specify a clear, exact duration for the extension, and the tone is occasionally inappropriate, such as using an exclamation mark in the salutation.
Ensure you state a specific timeframe for the rental extension (e.g., 'an additional six months') and maintain a polite, semi-formal tone throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter has a basic structure, but the main body paragraph is overloaded with different topics, including the extension request, the reasons, and multiple apartment problems.
Organize your letter logically by dedicating one paragraph to the extension request and reasons, and a separate paragraph to the maintenance issues.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is limited, with several spelling mistakes ('Apporoximately', 'accomodation', 'abroud') and awkward word choices ('further fate my living') that affect clarity.
Focus on learning common rental-related vocabulary and double-check your spelling of high-frequency words.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammatical errors are frequent and occur in almost every sentence, particularly with verb tenses, prepositions, and sentence structure.
Practice constructing simple and complex sentences accurately, paying close attention to subject-verb agreement and modal verbs.
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