You are a student at an English language school in Brighton and are living in private accommodation with other flatmates. You have not had hot water or heating for some time. The landlord's workmen have tried to fix the problem but without success. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter: - state your reason for writing - describe the problems and explain how you feel propose a solution - ask the landlord to take actions
Sample Response
Dear Mrs Thompson, I am writing this letter to notify you of the heating problem in our rented apartment. I as well well as my flatmates are having a hard time coping with the extreme winter and hoping that you would have the problem resolved immediately. I am Niro, a second-year student at the Pedagogy English Medium School in Brighton. I along with two other students, rented your apartment on the park road last February. Overall, we are happy with our accommodation. Unfortunately, the central heating system stopped working a week ago and we do not have any hot water in our flat. Two repairmen visited our flat last Friday and tried to fix the heater, but without any result. We are suffering to a great extent due to this and the winter is almost unbearable without the heating system and hot water. I hope you can understand our problem and take action immediately. I suggest fixing an auto heater to the bathroom and replacing the current one. If we do not get a proper solution within a week, we would be forced to vacate your flat. Kindly resolve this problem as soon as possible and oblige us. Thank you in advance. Yours sincerely, Niro Maala
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix subject phrase Original: I as well well as my flatmates are Suggested revision: My flatmates and I are Why it matters: The original phrase repeats “well” and uses an awkward subject structure.
- 2. Use precise noun Original: the extreme winter Suggested revision: the extreme cold Why it matters: “Extreme cold” describes the difficult weather conditions more naturally.
- 3. Complete verb structure Original: and hoping Suggested revision: and hope Why it matters: The coordinated verb must agree with the subject and match “are having.”
- 4. Use direct future Original: would have Suggested revision: will have Why it matters: “Will” expresses the requested future action more directly in this context.
- 5. Capitalise street name Original: the park road Suggested revision: Park Road Why it matters: A named street requires capital letters and no preceding article here.
- 6. Clarify consequence Original: stopped working a week ago and we do not have Suggested revision: stopped working a week ago, so we do not have Why it matters: “So” makes the causal link between the failure and lack of hot water explicit.
- 7. Improve collocation Original: without any result Suggested revision: without success Why it matters: “Without success” is the more natural collocation for a failed repair attempt.
- 8. Use concise wording Original: suffering to a great extent Suggested revision: suffering considerably Why it matters: The revision conveys the same degree of hardship more concisely.
- 9. Fix run-on clause Original: due to this and the winter is almost unbearable Suggested revision: as a result. The winter is almost unbearable Why it matters: The replacement separates two independent ideas and removes the faulty coordination.
- 10. Use correct collocations Original: fixing an auto heater to the bathroom Suggested revision: installing an electric heater in the bathroom Why it matters: A heater is “installed” in a room, and “electric heater” is the clear equipment term.
- 11. Name the equipment Original: replacing the current one Suggested revision: replacing the current central-heating unit Why it matters: Naming the unit makes the proposed solution unambiguous for the landlord.
- 12. Fix conditional tense Original: we would be forced Suggested revision: we will be forced Why it matters: The real future condition introduced by “If” requires “will” in the result clause.
Suggested Rewrites
- I as well well as my flatmates are My flatmates and I are
- the extreme winter the extreme cold
- and hoping and hope
- would have will have
- the park road Park Road
- stopped working a week ago and we do not have stopped working a week ago, so we do not have
Why this response received Band 6.5
The letter clearly states the heating and hot-water problem, explains its impact, and requests prompt action in a suitably firm tone. Its main limitation is uneven language control, with awkward collocations and several grammatical slips, while the absence of paragraphing weakens readability. Prioritise dividing the message into purposeful paragraphs and revising sentence structure and word choice for greater naturalness and precision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear, all requested points are covered, and the firm but polite tone suits a letter to a landlord.
Develop the proposed solution more realistically and precisely, explaining what repair or replacement the landlord should arrange.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information progresses logically from the complaint to its effects and the requested action, but it is presented as one unbroken paragraph.
Use separate paragraphs for the background, problems and feelings, and proposed action to make the progression easier to follow.
Lexical Resource
The letter uses a sufficient range of relevant vocabulary, although several collocations such as fixing an auto heater sound unnatural.
Choose more idiomatic problem-and-repair language, such as installing a water heater or replacing the faulty heating system.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex forms conveys the message clearly, but agreement, parallelism, punctuation, and conditional errors recur.
Edit sentence structures carefully, especially subject-verb agreement and matched verb forms in longer sentences.
Use this task for your next draft
Feedback is more useful when you actively apply it in a draft, rather than only recognising improvements on the page.
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.
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