You are a student at an English language school in Brighton and are living in private accommodation with other flatmates. You have not had hot water or heating for some time. The landlord's workmen have tried to fix the problem but without success. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter: - state your reason for writing - describe the problems and explain how you feel propose a solution - ask the landlord to take actions
Sample Response
Dear Mr Smith, I am writing this letter in connection with the non-functional heating system in your house where we currently reside in. The heating system is not working for more than a week and a team of men came to fix it but could not do anything. I am hoping you would call another expert team to have it fixed immediately. I am a student at the Cherry Blossom school in Brighton and have been residing in your flat with three other roommates for the last eleven months. As per our rental agreement, we reported the issue to your designated workmen first. However, they have failed to fix the problem and have exacerbated the situation by drilling some holes in the bathroom wall, channels and the cold air freeze us in this intense winter. Due to the non-functional heating system, we are unable to control water temperature, and we are compelled to heat water using gas burners for our daily domestic use. Similarly, we can't control the room temperature and we are living with thick winter clothes donned on our bodies round the clock. This is highly unpleasant and obnoxious to all of us. In order to fix the issue, once and for all, I suggest engaging a better maintenance service agency with more skilled professionals than your current workmen. You can find many such agencies in a newspaper's classified section. Considering the severity of the issue, I expect your immediate action. Yours sincerely, Jonathan Aflex
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Natural adjective Original: non-functional heating system Suggested revision: faulty heating system Why it matters: Faulty is the standard adjective for equipment that does not work.
- 2. Remove double preposition Original: house where we currently reside in Suggested revision: flat where we currently live Why it matters: Where already supplies the location, so in is redundant.
- 3. Present perfect Original: is not working for more than a week Suggested revision: has not been working for more than a week Why it matters: The problem began in the past and continues now.
- 4. Specific reference Original: a team of men Suggested revision: your maintenance team Why it matters: This identifies the workers by their role.
- 5. Precise failure Original: could not do anything Suggested revision: were unable to repair it Why it matters: The replacement states exactly what they failed to do.
- 6. Repair collocation Original: call another expert team Suggested revision: arrange for a qualified engineer Why it matters: Arrange for is natural when requesting a professional visit.
- 7. Proper-name capitalisation Original: Cherry Blossom school Suggested revision: Cherry Blossom School Why it matters: School is part of the institution’s name.
- 8. Formal but natural Original: As per our rental agreement Suggested revision: Under our rental agreement Why it matters: Under is concise and idiomatic in this context.
- 9. Plain description Original: have exacerbated the situation Suggested revision: have made the situation worse Why it matters: The simpler phrase fits a practical complaint more naturally.
- 10. Repair broken clause Original: channels and the cold air freeze us Suggested revision: allowing cold air in and making the flat even colder Why it matters: The original clause lacks a clear grammatical connection and natural wording.
- 11. State exact problem Original: unable to control water temperature Suggested revision: without hot water Why it matters: The task problem is the absence of hot water, not merely poor control.
- 12. Domestic wording Original: using gas burners Suggested revision: on the gas hob Why it matters: This is the natural term for heating water in a flat.
Suggested Rewrites
- non-functional heating system faulty heating system
- house where we currently reside in flat where we currently live
- is not working for more than a week has not been working for more than a week
- a team of men your maintenance team
- could not do anything were unable to repair it
- call another expert team arrange for a qualified engineer
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter clearly presents the failed heating and hot-water repairs, explains the serious impact on the residents, proposes a qualified replacement service, and requests urgent action in a suitably firm tone. Several awkward phrases and one overloaded sentence reduce clarity, while the requested action lacks a specific deadline. Focus on concise factual language, the safety consequences, and a time-bound request for a qualified engineer.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The task is addressed with relevant ideas, though development and precision are uneven.
Develop each main point with a specific explanation or consequence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is generally organized, though some progression and paragraph focus need improvement.
Give each paragraph one clear controlling purpose.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient for the task, but inaccurate collocations and word choices recur.
Prefer precise, natural topic vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains clear overall, but recurring sentence-level errors reduce accuracy.
Proofread agreement, articles, prepositions, and clause structure.