Some people say that computers have made life easier and more convenient. Other people say that computers have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion?
Sample Response
At present computer is one of the essential parts of our daily life. Many people of today's society are of the opinion that computer is the blessings of modern science which make our life more comfortable and handy while others oppose this concept but my inclination is toward the former. On one hand, it is argued that due to the more dependency on the computer, life is more tensed and complicated now. The most vital point for the demand which can initially be mentioned is that excessive technology based recent life. For example, modern school education systems are mainly computer based so students have no opportunity to learn mathematical skill even small subtraction and addition they cannot count without a computer. Besides Children are too much addicted to computer games rather than other outdoor activities and finally our future generation are becoming more machine dependent and physically disable and it results seems like in near future horror science fiction will be true. A further point is that computer hard disk crash and viruses are like natural disasters and make our life literally impossible. On the other hand, there are quite plausible reasons how the computer is becoming the part and parcel of our everyday life. What can be cited first regarding this is due to communication and information technology now World is in our hand. Anyone can reach any corner of the world within in a second. There are so many ways to communicate with each other such as email, online chatting, voice mail, video chat etc. To clarify this matter from home any one takes part in a job interview, conference or any online class. He/she does not need to go there physically but in the digital world, it is possible. What's more online marketing, banking etc. make our life more convenient so we can enjoy a strong personal relationship. Last but not the least, any business and official work can be accomplished efficiently because of electronic data management, for instance, electronic files are easily stored and maintained rather than paper documents. In a nutshell taking all the aforementioned pros and cons into account, I personally opine that computer is the most wonderful gift of our life.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural generalisation Original: At present computer is Suggested revision: At present, computers are Why it matters: A general statement about computers requires the plural form, and the introductory phrase takes a comma.
- 2. Fix number agreement Original: computer is the blessings Suggested revision: computers are among the blessings Why it matters: The subject and verb must agree, and one invention cannot be 'the blessings'.
- 3. Use precise wording Original: comfortable and handy Suggested revision: easier and more convenient Why it matters: These adjectives express the intended benefits more naturally in this context.
- 4. Complete linking phrase Original: On one hand Suggested revision: On the one hand Why it matters: The conventional contrastive linker includes the definite article.
- 5. Correct noun phrase Original: the more dependency Suggested revision: greater dependence Why it matters: 'Greater dependence' is the natural comparative noun phrase here.
- 6. Choose correct adjective Original: more tensed Suggested revision: more stressful Why it matters: 'Stressful' describes a situation that causes tension, whereas 'tensed' does not fit this meaning.
- 7. Use plural noun Original: mathematical skill Suggested revision: mathematical skills Why it matters: The discussion refers generally to multiple mathematical abilities, so the plural is required.
- 8. Fix linker punctuation Original: Besides Children Suggested revision: Besides, children Why it matters: The sentence linker needs a comma, and 'children' should not be capitalised mid-paragraph.
- 9. Use natural intensifier Original: too much addicted Suggested revision: overly addicted Why it matters: 'Overly' modifies the adjective 'addicted' more naturally than 'too much'.
- 10. Fix subject agreement Original: future generation are Suggested revision: future generations are Why it matters: The plural verb 'are' requires the plural subject 'generations'.
- 11. Use adjective form Original: physically disable Suggested revision: physically disabled Why it matters: The adjective needed after 'becoming' is 'disabled', not the base verb 'disable'.
- 12. Repair subject phrase Original: it results seems Suggested revision: the result seems Why it matters: The clause needs one clear singular subject followed by the agreeing verb.
Suggested Rewrites
- At present computer is At present, computers are
- computer is the blessings computers are among the blessings
- comfortable and handy easier and more convenient
- On one hand On the one hand
- the more dependency greater dependence
- more tensed more stressful
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response gives a clear opinion and considers both the stressful and convenient effects of computers, with the benefits supported by several relevant examples. Its main weakness is control: some claims are exaggerated or only loosely explained, and frequent awkward wording and grammatical errors reduce precision. Focus on developing fewer, more credible points and edit each sentence for accurate structure, agreement, and collocation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response states a clear opinion and addresses both perspectives with relevant ideas, though development is uneven and some claims are exaggerated.
Develop fewer points with measured explanations that clearly show why the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument has a discernible progression and useful contrast markers, but the single-block presentation and mechanical linking weaken cohesion.
Divide the response into purposeful paragraphs and use referencing and logical connections instead of relying heavily on formulaic transitions.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary to discuss technology and its effects, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms reduce naturalness and precision.
Replace memorised or awkward phrases with accurate everyday academic combinations and check each noun, adjective, and verb form.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied sentence forms, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, clauses, and punctuation sometimes make ideas difficult to follow.
Build shorter accurate sentences first, then combine them while checking subject-verb agreement, articles, and clause boundaries.