The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
Sample Response
The provided illustration compares water consumption for three main purposes in six different areas namely: North America, South America, Europe, Africa, Central Asia and South East Asia. Overall, it is clear from the charts that Asian and African countries used more water for irrigation while North American and European countries used more water for their industrial needs. To begin with, a major portion of water consumption could be observed in the agricultural sector and this was higher in African and Asian regions than that of American and European parts. More than 80% of water in Africa and Asia went into agricultural fields while this percentage was only 32% in Europe and 39% in North America. North America and Europe required more water in their industrial sectors than that of Asian and African countries. While half of the water was used in the industrial sector in North America and Europe, the percentage of that in African and Asian regions ranged from 5% to 12%. Interestingly, water consumption in North and South America shows a contrasting scenario. Finally, more percentages of household water consumption could be observed in American and European continents than that of Asian and African regions.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Punctuate namely Original: areas namely: Suggested revision: areas, namely, Why it matters: Namely should be set off with commas when it introduces the list.
- 2. Use standard spelling Original: South East Asia Suggested revision: Southeast Asia Why it matters: The standard regional name is written as Southeast Asia.
- 3. Match chart labels Original: Asian and African countries used more water for irrigation Suggested revision: African and Asian regions used a larger proportion of water for agriculture Why it matters: The charts compare regions and label the category as agricultural use.
- 4. Fix comparison form Original: than that of American and European parts Suggested revision: than in North America and Europe Why it matters: The comparison requires than in followed by the named regions.
- 5. Repair comparison Original: required more water in their industrial sectors than that of Asian and African countries Suggested revision: used a larger proportion of water for industry than the Asian and African regions did Why it matters: The revision supplies a parallel comparative structure and refers accurately to proportions.
- 6. Clarify reference Original: the percentage of that Suggested revision: the corresponding proportions Why it matters: The original reference is vague, while the sentence compares several regional percentages.
- 7. Keep tense consistent Original: shows a contrasting scenario Suggested revision: showed contrasting patterns Why it matters: Past tense matches the rest of the report, and patterns is more precise than scenario.
- 8. Use comparative correctly Original: more percentages of household water consumption Suggested revision: higher proportions of domestic water use Why it matters: Percentages cannot be modified by more in this construction.
- 9. Fix regional comparison Original: than that of Asian and African regions Suggested revision: than in Asian and African regions Why it matters: Than in is the correct structure for comparing water-use shares across regions.
- 10. Describe charts precisely Original: The provided illustration compares water consumption for three main purposes Suggested revision: The charts compare the proportions of water used for three purposes Why it matters: The task contains multiple charts and reports percentage shares rather than absolute consumption.
- 11. Name regions accurately Original: North American and European countries Suggested revision: North America and Europe Why it matters: The visual compares these regions as wholes rather than sets of countries.
- 12. Use chart terminology Original: their industrial needs Suggested revision: industrial use Why it matters: Industrial use is the concise category label used in the visual.
Suggested Rewrites
- areas namely: areas, namely,
- South East Asia Southeast Asia
- Asian and African countries used more water for irrigation African and Asian regions used a larger proportion of water for agriculture
- than that of American and European parts than in North America and Europe
- required more water in their industrial sectors than that of Asian and African countries used a larger proportion of water for industry than the Asian and African regions did
- the percentage of that the corresponding proportions
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response selects the dominant regional patterns accurately and uses relevant figures to contrast agricultural and industrial water use. Its main limitation is that South America and domestic consumption are only briefly generalised, while the one-paragraph presentation and several awkward comparative forms reduce polish. Prioritise grouping the data into clear paragraphs and supporting the remaining comparisons with precise percentages.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview and principal agricultural-industrial contrasts are accurate, but South America and domestic use lack sufficiently specific supporting detail.
Add exact domestic-use comparisons and explain South America's contrasting 71% agricultural and 10% industrial shares.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a clear introduction-overview-detail sequence, although presenting the entire report as one paragraph limits the clarity of grouping.
Use separate detail paragraphs for agriculture-led regions and industry-led regions, integrating domestic-use comparisons within those groups.
Lexical Resource
There is a useful range of topic vocabulary, but expressions such as 'American and European parts' and 'more percentages' are imprecise or unnatural.
Use concise geographical labels and accurate comparison phrases such as 'a higher proportion was used domestically.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are generally controlled and meaning remains clear, though comparative structures repeatedly contain faulty 'than that of' constructions.
Compare like grammatical forms directly, for example 'higher in Africa than in Europe,' and check plural noun phrases.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.