The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
Sample Response
The provided figures give information on the percentage of water used for industrial, agricultural and domestic purposesindustrial, agricultural and domestic use of water in six different regionsthe six different regions of the world. OverallGenerally, as can be seen from the illustration, the highest percentage of water is used for agricultural purposesdemands, while the smallest proportionleast percentage of water is used for domestic needsthe domestic needs. In Africa, South America, Central and South-East Asia more than 70%70 percent of water goes to the agricultural sector, whereas in North America and Europe these figures arethis index is 39 % and 32%, respectively32% respectively. By contrastOn the contrary, these regions consume more water for industrial purposes (48% and 53%), while industrial purposes account for only aboutrequire only about 10% on average10 % average in South America, Africa, Central and South-East Asia. The biggest percent of domestic water use could be observed is in South America (19%) and Asian regions use the minimum water for domestic needs. The highest proportion of water usedmaximum usage of water for agricultureagricultural aims is in Central Asia (88%)Central Asia (89 %), and only 32% of water is used by the European farming sector.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is concise and data-focused, selecting many accurate contrasts and supporting them with relevant percentages. Its main weakness is an overgeneralised overview: agriculture dominates four regions, whereas industry is largest in North America and Europe, and the single-block presentation weakens readability. Prioritise a precisely qualified overview, then separate the overview and detailed comparisons into clear paragraphs while correcting awkward sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Most key regional contrasts and figures are accurately selected, but the overview misleadingly presents agriculture as universally dominant rather than distinguishing the two industrial-led regions.
State explicitly that agriculture leads in four regions while industry accounts for the largest share in North America and Europe.
Coherence and Cohesion
The comparisons follow a sensible sequence and cohesive devices guide the reader, but presenting the entire report as one paragraph obscures its structure.
Separate the introduction and overview from grouped detail paragraphs on agricultural-led and industrial-led regions.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficiently varied range of vocabulary for proportions, purposes, and regional comparisons, with occasional awkward choices such as agricultural demands and this index.
Use more precise collocations such as agricultural use, proportion, accounted for, and industrial consumption.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a useful range of complex sentence forms, but errors in constructions such as could be observed is and about 10% average reduce accuracy.
Revise sentence patterns involving passive forms, averages, and superlatives so that each clause has one complete grammatical structure.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.