The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.
Sample Response
The given pie chart and table depict the significant causes of less productivity of agricultural land in three parts of the world in the 1990s. As is observed from the pie chart, the main reason for land degradation around the globe is due to over-grazing. It can be clearly seen from the table that Europe had the highest percentage of total land degraded than the other two regions.
Over-grazing is the main cause of worldwide land degradation which accounted for 35%. It is followed closely by deforestation which is 5% less than overgrazing by herbivores. The third reason why agricultural land degraded is caused by over-cultivation, accounted for 28%. The non-specific reason which is categorised as ‘other’ stood at 7%.
Europe has the highest percentage of land degraded which is 23% in comparison with Oceania which consists of the huge group of islands in the South Pacific including Australia and New Zealand (13%) and North America (5%). In Europe, the most detrimental cause of land degradation is deforestation by human beings which stood at 9.8%, whereas in Oceania, it is caused mainly by over-grazing which accounted for 11.3% than deforestation (1.7%). Over-cultivation did not contribute to the cause of land degradation in Oceania but it was the main reason that led North America to face the land degradation problem, which accounted for 3.3%.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise noun phrase Original: causes of less productivity of agricultural land Suggested revision: causes of declining agricultural land productivity Why it matters: The revision expresses the concept accurately without the awkward “less productivity of” construction.
- 2. Remove redundant cause form Original: reason for land degradation around the globe is due to Suggested revision: cause of land degradation worldwide is Why it matters: Using both “reason” and “due to” creates a redundant causal construction.
- 3. Fix superlative comparison Original: than the other two regions Suggested revision: of the three regions Why it matters: A superlative such as “highest” takes an “of” comparison group rather than “than”.
- 4. Name chart category Original: non-specific reason Suggested revision: remaining category Why it matters: The pie chart labels this as the residual “other” category, not a non-specific reason.
- 5. Remove irrelevant definition Original: which consists of the huge group of islands in the South Pacific including Australia and New Zealand Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This geographical definition does not help compare the land-degradation figures.
- 6. Fix numerical comparison Original: 11.3% than deforestation (1.7%) Suggested revision: 11.3%, compared with 1.7% for deforestation Why it matters: “Compared with” is required to link the two percentages grammatically and clearly.
- 7. Use direct data wording Original: led North America to face the land degradation problem Suggested revision: caused land degradation in North America Why it matters: The revised wording reports the regional cause directly and avoids an awkward personification.
- 8. Use table terminology Original: parts Suggested revision: regions Why it matters: “Regions” is the precise term used for the geographical categories in the table.
- 9. Use concise reference Original: As is observed from Suggested revision: As shown in Why it matters: The shorter phrase links the statement to the pie chart more directly.
- 10. Remove empty framing Original: It can be clearly seen from Suggested revision: The data in Why it matters: The revision avoids an impersonal framing phrase while keeping the table reference.
- 11. Fix modifier punctuation Original: which is categorised as Suggested revision: , categorised as Why it matters: A comma-led participial phrase attaches the label correctly to the category.
- 12. State the proportion clearly Original: Europe has the highest percentage of land degraded which is 23% Suggested revision: Europe had the highest proportion of degraded land, at 23% Why it matters: The revision fixes the tense and replaces the unclear relative clause with a precise value phrase.
Suggested Rewrites
- causes of less productivity of agricultural land causes of declining agricultural land productivity
- reason for land degradation around the globe is due to cause of land degradation worldwide is
- than the other two regions of the three regions
- non-specific reason remaining category
- which consists of the huge group of islands in the South Pacific including Australia and New Zealand Delete
- 11.3% than deforestation (1.7%) 11.3%, compared with 1.7% for deforestation
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response accurately identifies both headline findings and supports them with a strong selection of figures from the pie chart and regional table. Its main weakness is grammatical precision: several comparison and clause structures are awkward despite the consistently clear meaning. The most useful improvement would be to retain the detailed, well-organised coverage while simplifying comparative sentences and checking verb forms, relative clauses, and participle constructions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
A clear overview highlights the largest global cause and the most affected region, while accurate supporting figures cover the main patterns across both visuals.
For even fuller coverage, add a concise comparison of Europe's three causes and North America's minor deforestation and over-grazing shares.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report progresses logically from a two-part overview to global causes and then regional contrasts, with clear paragraph focus and effective linking.
Tighten the long regional paragraph by grouping the three regions into shorter comparative sentences and omitting the unnecessary definition of Oceania.
Lexical Resource
A varied and generally precise academic vocabulary describes causes, proportions, and regional differences, despite a few awkward collocations such as "less productivity" and "face the land degradation problem."
Use more natural formulations such as "reduced agricultural productivity" and "the leading cause of degradation in North America".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a broad range of sentence structures, but recurring errors in comparison, clause construction, and participle forms prevent consistently accurate control.
Correct structures such as "higher than," "accounting for," and "compared with 1.7% for deforestation," and avoid combining "reason" with "is caused by" in the same clause.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.
Your response
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