You will move to a new city for work. You know some people who live there. Write a letter to someone you know who lives there. In your letter: - ask them for help in finding accommodation - tell them where you would like to live - tell them the type of place you are looking for

Same question Compare 2 different answers (Band 7–7.5)

Sample Response

Dear Mr & Mrs Williams, You would be happy to hear that I have recently been offered a job in Brisbane and I would move into the South Bank area soon. It would be an absolute delight to live in your city as I would be able to frequently meet you. I would like to ask if you can help me find a living place before I arrive. I believe you could help me to find somewhere to live in as you have a wide social circle. Ideally, I would like to live close to my workplace which happens to be in the Bank area in Brisbane. If this is not possible, my second preference is the downtown district. As I do exercise regularly, it would be great to be near a park too. Obviously, I will be looking for a flat, rather than a house, as it is just going to be me and I won’t be able to afford too much. So, a place with one bedroom is fine, but I would like to have a private bathroom, a kitchen. I would prefer to live somewhere new, so anything in a modern apartment block would be great. I look forward to meeting you soon. Yours sincerely, Alan Martin

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Write out and Original: Mr & Mrs Suggested revision: Mr and Mrs Why it matters: Writing out and is more conventional in a letter salutation than using an ampersand.
  • 2. Use future certainty Original: You would be happy to hear Suggested revision: You will be pleased to hear Why it matters: Will matches the immediate news being shared, and pleased is natural in this expression.
  • 3. Correct future form Original: I would move into the South Bank area soon Suggested revision: I will be moving to the South Bank area soon Why it matters: The planned relocation requires a future form rather than hypothetical would.
  • 4. Use natural phrasing Original: frequently meet you Suggested revision: see you often Why it matters: See you often is the natural expression for regular social contact.
  • 5. Use accommodation Original: a living place Suggested revision: accommodation Why it matters: Accommodation is the standard term for a place to live.
  • 6. Remove extra preposition Original: somewhere to live in Suggested revision: somewhere to live Why it matters: Somewhere already supplies the location, so the final preposition is unnecessary.
  • 7. Remove unnecessary do Original: As I do exercise regularly Suggested revision: As I exercise regularly Why it matters: The auxiliary do is unnecessary in this ordinary affirmative clause.
  • 8. Join the final items Original: a private bathroom, a kitchen Suggested revision: a private bathroom and a kitchen Why it matters: The two required facilities should be coordinated with and rather than a comma.
  • 9. Sentence rewrite Original: Obviously, I will be looking for a flat, rather than a house, as it is just going to be me and I won’t be able to afford too much. Suggested revision: I am looking for a flat rather than a house because I will be living alone and have a limited budget. Why it matters: The rewrite removes conversational and vague wording while preserving the stated housing constraints.
  • 10. Group the requests Suggested revision: Separate the request for help, preferred location, and flat requirements into distinct paragraphs. Why it matters: Grouping each bullet-point topic would make the letter easier for the recipient to act on.

Suggested Rewrites

  • Mr & Mrs Mr and Mrs
  • You would be happy to hear You will be pleased to hear
  • I would move into the South Bank area soon I will be moving to the South Bank area soon
  • frequently meet you see you often
  • a living place accommodation
  • somewhere to live in somewhere to live
Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.5

The response gives a clear request and develops every required point with useful detail about location and preferred accommodation. Its principal weakness is presentation: the entire body is compressed into one paragraph, while a few awkward collocations and punctuation errors reduce polish. Divide the request, preferred area, and property requirements into focused paragraphs, and refine phrases such as “living place” for more natural formal English.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

8.0
Scoring rule

The letter achieves its purpose and fully covers the request for help, preferred locations, and detailed accommodation requirements.

Next step

Clarify the apparent inconsistency between South Bank and the later reference to the Bank area so the preferred location is completely unambiguous.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Scoring rule

Ideas follow the prompt in a clear sequence and cohesive devices are used effectively, though the single body paragraph limits structural clarity.

Next step

Group the request, location preferences, and flat requirements into distinct paragraphs to make the organisation easier to scan.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Scoring rule

Vocabulary is varied and generally precise for housing and location, with only occasional awkward choices such as living place.

Next step

Replace less natural combinations with idiomatic alternatives such as accommodation or somewhere to live.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0
Scoring rule

The response uses a good range of simple and complex sentences with generally accurate control and a few non-impeding errors.

Next step

Check tense choice and list punctuation, particularly in the opening sentence and the sentence listing a bathroom and kitchen.

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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1

You will move to a new city for work. You know some people who live there. Write a letter to someone you know who lives there. In your letter:

- ask them for help in finding accommodation

- tell them where you would like to live

- tell them the type of place you are looking for

Your response

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20:00

Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.