Five months ago, you started renting an apartment on a six-month agreement. You now wish to stay in the apartment for longer than the six months you originally agreed with the owner. Write a letter to the owner of your apartment. In your letter: - say how long you now want to rent the apartment for - explain why your plans have changed - tell the owner about a problem in the apartment
Same question Compare all 3 answers See different approaches and band scores for this IELTS task.Sample Response
Dear Mr Giovanni,
I hope this letter finds you in good health and spirit. I am writing to discuss the possibility of extending my rental agreement for the apartment I have been staying in for the past five months. Initially, I had planned to rent the apartment for only six months, but I would now like to extend my stay for an additional year, if possible.
The reason for this change is that my Computer Science studies here in Turin have been extended due to additional coursework and a research opportunity that I have recently been offered. Since I have already settled into the apartment and find it very comfortable, I would prefer to continue living here rather than searching for a new place.
Additionally, I wanted to bring to your attention a small issue with the heating system. As the colder months are approaching, I have noticed that it takes a long time to warm up the rooms properly. If you could arrange for a technician to check it, I would really appreciate it.
Please let me know if an extension would be possible and under what terms. I look forward to your response.
Yours sincerely,
Halbert Stone
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use standard greeting Original: spirit Suggested revision: spirits Why it matters: In good health and spirits is the conventional expression in a courteous opening.
- 2. State request directly Original: discuss the possibility of extending Suggested revision: request an extension to Why it matters: The direct request is more concise while retaining the polite formal tone.
- 3. Use natural residence verb Original: staying Suggested revision: living Why it matters: Living in is more natural for a five-month tenancy than staying in.
- 4. Avoid repeated wording Original: extend my stay for an additional year Suggested revision: extend the agreement for another year Why it matters: The revision avoids repeating extend and stay while keeping the requested duration exact.
- 5. Use lowercase subject Original: Computer Science Suggested revision: computer science Why it matters: Academic subjects are normally lowercase unless they form part of an official course title.
- 6. Name equipment clearly Original: arrange for a technician to check it Suggested revision: arrange for a technician to inspect the heating system Why it matters: Naming the system removes a mildly vague pronoun and uses a precise service verb.
- 7. Use natural preposition Original: under Suggested revision: on Why it matters: On what terms is the conventional phrase for conditions attached to an agreement.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: As the colder months are approaching, I have noticed that it takes a long time to warm up the rooms properly. Suggested revision: As the colder months approach, I have noticed that the heating system takes a long time to warm the rooms properly. Why it matters: The rewrite gives the verb a clear subject and expresses the seasonal timing more directly.
Suggested Rewrites
- spirit spirits
- discuss the possibility of extending request an extension to
- staying living
- extend my stay for an additional year extend the agreement for another year
- Computer Science computer science
- arrange for a technician to check it arrange for a technician to inspect the heating system
Why this response received Band 8.5
The letter fully addresses the request with a clear purpose, well-developed reasons for the extension, and a suitably polite tone throughout. Its only notable limitation is a small amount of formulaic or slightly unnatural phrasing, such as the opening reference to 'health and spirit'. The best refinement is to make those conventional expressions more idiomatic while preserving the concise paragraphing and precise request.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are fully developed, and the request for an additional year is clear, relevant, and appropriately polite.
For maximum precision, state the proposed new end date or total tenancy length so the extension cannot be misread.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are sequenced effortlessly in focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices and referencing used unobtrusively.
Keep this structure, but consider trimming one repeated reference to remaining in the apartment for even tighter progression.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and precise for tenancy, study, and maintenance, with only a slightly non-idiomatic opening expression.
Use the conventional phrase 'in good health and spirits' and continue choosing specific, natural vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with punctuation well controlled.
Maintain this accuracy while checking minor conventions such as article and comma choices in conditional requests.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
Five months ago, you started renting an apartment on a six-month agreement. You now wish to stay in the apartment for longer than the six months you originally agreed with the owner. Write a letter to the owner of your apartment. In your letter:
- say how long you now want to rent the apartment for
- explain why your plans have changed
- tell the owner about a problem in the apartment
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.