You are going to have a family party in a private room in a hotel. Write a letter to the hotel manager. In your letter say: - why you need to use this private room - what you need them to provide for the party - inquire about the price of the food you are ordering
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam; I intend to book a party venue at your hotel on 15th December 2023 and writing to inquire about its availability. Besides, I need information about the buffet menu for lunch, some additional facilities and their prices. I and my wife have decided to celebrate our 5th marriage anniversary on 15th December. We are expecting approximately 30 guests and for that, we need a large party hall that comes with a reception area and private facilities. Furthermore, I need some arrangements for that day - a comprehensive buffet menu, anniversary cake with a greeting written on it, elegant decoration, drinks, soft music and some exciting toys for the children. A few of the guests are vegetarians, and we need your buffet to be vegetarian-friendly. Finally, I am expecting you to have some staff members ready to serve the guests. I would be grateful if you could confirm the availability of your venue, and then send me the menu along with the prices for the food and service. I am looking forward to your prompt reply. Yours faithfully, Raymond Joseph
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct the salutation punctuation Original: Dear Sir or Madam; Suggested revision: Dear Sir or Madam, Why it matters: A formal salutation should end with a comma rather than a semicolon.
- 2. Use a formal transition Original: Besides Suggested revision: Additionally Why it matters: The replacement is more suitable for introducing another request in a formal letter.
- 3. Correct the subject order Original: I and my wife Suggested revision: My wife and I Why it matters: English convention places the other person before the speaker in a compound subject.
- 4. Use the correct event phrase Original: 5th marriage anniversary Suggested revision: fifth wedding anniversary Why it matters: 'Wedding anniversary' is the standard expression for this celebration.
- 5. Link the result directly Original: and for that, we need Suggested revision: so we need Why it matters: The shorter connector expresses the consequence more directly.
- 6. Introduce the request list Original: some arrangements for that day Suggested revision: the following arrangements for that day Why it matters: The phrase clearly signals the specific list that follows.
- 7. Add the missing article Original: anniversary cake Suggested revision: an anniversary cake Why it matters: The singular countable noun requires an article in this list.
- 8. Use the countable form Original: decoration Suggested revision: decorations Why it matters: The plural form naturally refers to the decorative items requested for the room.
- 9. Clarify the facilities request Original: some additional facilities Suggested revision: the additional facilities available Why it matters: The replacement asks more directly what facilities the hotel can provide.
- 10. Match the requested room Original: large party hall Suggested revision: large private room Why it matters: The task asks specifically about using a private room for the party.
- 11. Use natural cake wording Original: greeting written on it Suggested revision: personalised message on it Why it matters: The replacement is a more natural way to describe writing requested on a celebration cake.
- 12. Make the request polite Original: I am expecting you to have Suggested revision: I would also appreciate having Why it matters: The revised wording maintains an appropriate polite tone when requesting hotel staff.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Sir or Madam; Dear Sir or Madam,
- Besides Additionally
- I and my wife My wife and I
- 5th marriage anniversary fifth wedding anniversary
- and for that, we need so we need
- some arrangements for that day the following arrangements for that day
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter communicates the booking request efficiently and develops every required point with useful details about the anniversary, facilities, catering, guests, and prices. Its formal tone and specific requests are strong, but the single-block layout and several grammatical lapses reduce professional polish. The highest priority is to divide the requests into purpose-led paragraphs and correct the incomplete opening construction and awkward subject order.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The letter fully achieves its purpose, explains the celebration, specifies extensive venue and catering needs, and clearly requests food and service prices.
Ask for a complete itemised quotation, including the private room, food, drinks, decorations, cake, and staffing, to make the pricing request maximally precise.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information progresses sensibly from booking purpose to requirements and pricing, but presenting everything in one paragraph limits clear grouping.
Separate the occasion and guest details, requested provisions, and quotation enquiry into three focused body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The letter uses a strong range of appropriate hospitality and event vocabulary, with only occasional imprecise or slightly unnatural wording.
Replace vague phrases such as private facilities and some additional facilities with exact terms such as private washrooms, reception space, and audiovisual equipment.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence structures is controlled well overall, despite a missing verb in the opening and some awkward subject and preposition choices.
Write my wife and I have decided and I am writing to inquire, then proofread each coordinated clause for a complete verb.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are going to have a family party in a private room in a hotel. Write a letter to the hotel manager. In your letter say:
- why you need to use this private room
- what you need them to provide for the party
- inquire about the price of the food you are ordering
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.