As part of a student social survey project, you are organising a group to visit a historical exhibition in a small town. Write a letter asking for information about the exhibition. In your letter: - ask about the contents of the exhibition - ask for its opening and closing dates - ask whether any discounts are available
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am an A-level student from R.V. College of Arts, Bangalore. As part of the student social survey project, we are planning to visit the historical exhibition that you are arranging in your town. I am writing to you to seek more details about the exhibition. I understand this is a historical exhibition, but please elucidate on its content, such as, whether this exhibition focuses on any particular period of history, and what the highlights of the exhibition are. Please also inform me how students can benefit from visiting it. Could you also apprise me of the exhibition dates and timings? Finally, inform me if it will be closed on weekends or not. As I mentioned, I am planning this tour for a group of students, so would it be possible for us to get any discount on group booking or perhaps for students? If so, please notify me of the discount we are eligible for. I would be highly obliged if you could provide these details at your earliest so that I can start making the transport and accommodation arrangements. Thank you in advance. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Prashant Kaur
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Separate the salutation Original: Dear Sir or Madam, I am Suggested revision: Dear Sir or Madam, I am Why it matters: The salutation should be separated from the opening sentence of the letter.
- 2. Use natural event wording Original: that you are arranging Suggested revision: being held Why it matters: An exhibition is more naturally described as being held than being arranged in this sentence.
- 3. Request exact schedule details Original: exhibition dates and timings Suggested revision: opening and closing dates and daily opening hours Why it matters: This wording directly requests both date boundaries and the daily schedule.
- 4. Soften the request Original: Finally, inform me Suggested revision: Could you also let me know Why it matters: The revised request maintains an appropriately polite tone for an enquiry letter.
- 5. Remove redundant words Original: or not Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: Whether already expresses the alternatives, so these words are unnecessary.
- 6. Fix discount collocation Original: any discount on group booking Suggested revision: a discount for group bookings Why it matters: Discount for and the plural group bookings form the natural construction here.
- 7. Complete the fixed phrase Original: at your earliest Suggested revision: at your earliest convenience Why it matters: At your earliest convenience is the complete conventional expression.
- 8. Use concise wording Original: making the transport and accommodation arrangements Suggested revision: arranging transport and accommodation Why it matters: The replacement states the same practical purpose more directly.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: I understand this is a historical exhibition, but please elucidate on its content, such as, whether this exhibition focuses on any particular period of history, and what the highlights of the exhibition are. Suggested revision: I understand that this is a historical exhibition, but could you please clarify whether it focuses on a particular period and identify its main highlights? Why it matters: The rewrite corrects the faulty collocation and punctuation while preserving both requests about the content.
- 10. Organise the letter Suggested revision: Divide the text into short paragraphs for the purpose, exhibition details, discount request, and closing. Why it matters: The single block obscures the progression between the letter's distinct requests.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Sir or Madam, I am Dear Sir or Madam, I am
- that you are arranging being held
- exhibition dates and timings opening and closing dates and daily opening hours
- Finally, inform me Could you also let me know
- or not Delete
- any discount on group booking a discount for group bookings
Why this response received Band 8.0
The letter has a clear formal purpose and requests all the required information with specific, useful detail and a suitably courteous tone. Its main weakness is presentation as one continuous paragraph, compounded by a few overformal or incomplete collocations that make the request less effortless to read. The highest-priority improvement is to group the content into clear paragraphs while retaining the precise questions and professional register.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The communicative purpose is fully achieved, with detailed questions about the exhibition content, dates and opening arrangements, and available discounts.
Keep the requests equally specific while making the final request for a reply slightly more concise.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a logical sequence and cohesive referencing is clear, but the absence of paragraph breaks weakens the organisation of the letter.
Separate the introduction, exhibition questions, discount request, and closing into distinct functional paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is wide and precise overall, although “elucidate on its content” and “at your earliest” are awkward or incomplete collocations.
Prefer natural formal phrases such as “provide more details about its content” and “at your earliest convenience”.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence forms is used accurately, with only minor punctuation and construction lapses that do not impede meaning.
Remove unnecessary commas around examples and check that embedded questions and request structures remain concise and well balanced.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
As part of a student social survey project, you are organising a group to visit a historical exhibition in a small town. Write a letter asking for information about the exhibition. In your letter:
- ask about the contents of the exhibition
- ask for its opening and closing dates
- ask whether any discounts are available
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.