You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: - explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months - say how your work could be done while you are away - ask for his/her help in arranging it
Sample Response
Dear Mr Henry,
I am writing to formally request an opportunity to work at our company’s head office in Germany for six months. I am hoping that you will allow me to take the opportunity to work in our head office for about half a year.
I believe that working at the head office would allow me to gain a deeper understanding of our global operations and learn best practices from senior colleagues. This experience would enhance my skills and enable me to bring new insights and strategies back to our team. Additionally, it would give me the chance to build stronger relationships with key stakeholders, which could be beneficial for our department in the long run.
To ensure that my responsibilities are managed smoothly during my absence, I propose delegating some of my tasks to James, who is already familiar with my ongoing projects. I would also be happy to offer remote support when needed and ensure a thorough handover before I leave.
I would appreciate your guidance in arranging this transfer and discussing any formal procedures that need to be completed. Please let me know a convenient time to discuss this further.
Yours sincerely,
Liam Bennett
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise request Original: formally request an opportunity Suggested revision: request the opportunity Why it matters: The formal context is already clear, so the adverb adds unnecessary wording.
- 2. Use professional opportunity Original: chance Suggested revision: opportunity Why it matters: Opportunity is more appropriate than chance in this professional context.
- 3. Use formal time frame Original: in the long run Suggested revision: over the longer term Why it matters: The revised phrase is more suitable for a formal request to a manager.
- 4. Use handled smoothly Original: managed Suggested revision: handled Why it matters: Responsibilities are naturally handled rather than managed smoothly in this context.
- 5. Identify routine coverage Original: some of my tasks Suggested revision: my routine tasks Why it matters: This wording clarifies which work James could reasonably cover during the placement.
- 6. Use provide support Original: offer Suggested revision: provide Why it matters: Provide support is the standard professional collocation.
- 7. Complete the handover Original: ensure Suggested revision: complete Why it matters: Complete directly states the action the writer will take before leaving.
- 8. Clarify whose convenience Original: a convenient time to discuss Suggested revision: a convenient time for you to discuss Why it matters: Adding for you makes clear that the proposed time should suit the manager.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: I am hoping that you will allow me to take the opportunity to work in our head office for about half a year. Suggested revision: I hope you will support this six-month placement at our head office. Why it matters: The rewrite removes repetition of opportunity and restates the exact duration concisely.
- 10. Detail the coverage plan Suggested revision: Clarify which responsibilities James will cover and when you will be available for remote support. Why it matters: The coverage proposal is credible but remains broad enough to benefit from operational detail.
Suggested Rewrites
- formally request an opportunity request the opportunity
- chance opportunity
- in the long run over the longer term
- managed handled
- some of my tasks my routine tasks
- offer provide
Why this response received Band 8.0
The letter is highly effective: it clearly explains the professional value of the placement, presents a practical plan for maintaining responsibilities, and makes a suitably respectful request for managerial support. Organisation and language are consistently controlled, with only minor repetition in the opening and a little generality about the transfer arrangements. The best refinement would be to streamline the introduction and specify the exact assistance required from the manager.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are fully and relevantly developed, and the formal, respectful tone suits a letter to a manager.
Make the final request even more precise by naming the particular approval or coordination needed from the manager.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is arranged in purposeful paragraphs with clear progression from the request to its benefits, practical cover, and next steps.
Remove the repeated statement of the six-month request in the opening to make the progression still more economical.
Lexical Resource
The response uses flexible and precise professional vocabulary, including appropriate language for operations, stakeholders, delegation, and handover.
Replace the small amount of repetition around opportunity and head office with more varied, concise phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and naturally, with consistently well-controlled punctuation and agreement.
Maintain this accuracy while tightening the two similar opening sentences into one more sophisticated sentence.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter:
- explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months
- say how your work could be done while you are away
- ask for his/her help in arranging it
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.