You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: - explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months - say how your work could be done while you are away - ask for his/her help in arranging it
Sample Response
Dear Mr Jacob, I am writing this letter to inform you about my desire to work in our company’s head office in Amsterdam for about six months. Recently, our company has announced an extensive training programme on the techniques of developing new accounting software for mid-size business firms, and I would like to avail this opportunity. Our company now develops such software for only small firms at our local office and soon we will need to target large business entities. The training programme is to be held at our head office from 10th of the next July. I would also like to add here that this particular training programme may prove out to be quite important for a software development team leader like me in showing the way to the junior team members and managing larger projects in the future. I have already talked to my project manager to help my team members carry on their routine work without any hurdles, and he assured me that he would jump in to fill the void within the team in my absence. So, it would be great if you could arrange for my transfer so that I can join the training programme and bring innovations to our team. Yours sincerely, John Andrew
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct verb pattern Original: avail this opportunity Suggested revision: take advantage of this opportunity Why it matters: “Avail” would require a reflexive object, whereas this replacement is natural and complete.
- 2. Use adjectival form Original: size Suggested revision: sized Why it matters: “Mid-sized” is the standard adjective before the plural noun “business firms”.
- 3. Correct date phrase Original: from 10th of the next July Suggested revision: from 10 July Why it matters: The original combination of ordinal, “of,” and “the next” is not a standard way to state this date.
- 4. Correct verb phrase Original: prove out to be Suggested revision: prove to be Why it matters: The established expression is “prove to be,” without “out”.
- 5. Use concise professional wording Original: showing the way to the junior team members Suggested revision: guiding junior team members Why it matters: This phrasing expresses the leadership role more directly and professionally.
- 6. Use workplace collocation Original: without any hurdles Suggested revision: without disruption Why it matters: “Without disruption” is a more natural description of work continuing smoothly.
- 7. Use formal workplace tone Original: jump in to fill the void within the team Suggested revision: step in to cover my responsibilities Why it matters: The replacement is more precise and suitably formal for a letter to a manager.
- 8. Clarify temporary placement Original: arrange for my transfer Suggested revision: arrange my temporary placement Why it matters: “Temporary placement” accurately reflects the requested six-month period rather than implying a permanent transfer.
- 9. Natural benefit phrase Original: bring innovations to our team Suggested revision: introduce new ideas to our team Why it matters: This wording conveys the intended benefit more naturally.
- 10. Organise by request point Suggested revision: Use separate paragraphs for the training rationale, cover arrangements during the absence, and the request for managerial help. Why it matters: Distinct sections would make the response to each required bullet point easier to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- avail this opportunity take advantage of this opportunity
- size sized
- from 10th of the next July from 10 July
- prove out to be prove to be
- showing the way to the junior team members guiding junior team members
- without any hurdles without disruption
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter presents a clear, persuasive professional request and develops the training rationale, work-cover arrangement, and requested managerial action with relevant detail. Its main limitation is that several awkward collocations and an overextended sentence weaken precision and ease of reading. The highest-priority improvement is to use more natural business English and break dense explanations into shorter, better-controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose and formal register are clear, and all three bullet points are fully addressed with convincing workplace detail.
Specify the exact six-month period and practical transfer arrangements to make the request even more actionable for the manager.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from the training opportunity and its benefits to work coverage and the final request for assistance.
Divide the lengthy explanation of the training benefits into shorter sentences so the central reasoning is easier to follow.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a broad range of relevant professional vocabulary, although several collocations are imprecise or non-idiomatic.
Replace expressions such as “avail this opportunity,” “prove out to be,” and “bring innovations” with natural business-English alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex forms conveys the message clearly, but long clause chains and occasional prepositional or structural errors reduce control.
Simplify heavily embedded sentences and proofread date and verb constructions, such as “from 10th of the next July” and “may prove out to be.”
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter:
- explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months
- say how your work could be done while you are away
- ask for his/her help in arranging it
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.