Overpopulation in most developing countries in Asia and Africa is a problem. If these countries do not try to control the population immediately, they will face serious problems. What are your suggestions to control the population in such countries?
Sample Response
Population growth in the world has already gone out of control, and it is even more severe in most Asian and African countries. The population growth in these regions is uncontrollable due to illiteracy, poor quality of life, and the religious and social taboo against population control. In this essay, I will suggest some ways to control it.
Controlling the population in a country can not be achieved overnight, and despite initiatives and educational campaigns, the result might come at a slow pace. However, proper steps should be taken to control the rapid expansion of the population. First, authorities should take the initiative and launch awareness campaigns more frequently, especially in poor neighbourhoods to educate them about the negative consequences of having many children. Ignorance and illiteracy among poor people are often the reason they do not understand or care about the severe consequences of having too many babies. Effective campaigns and seminars could bring excellent results.
Moreover, making contraceptives available for free among the poor population should be ensured. It would help curb population growth in the long term. Finally, the government must impose laws to restrict the number of children a family can have. For instance, families in China, in the past, were not allowed to have more than one child, and any violation of it incites a financial penalty. This may seem cruel at first, but the one-child policy has already given positive outcomes to many populous countries including China.
In conclusion, if the population keeps increasing at the current rate, the world will soon find itself in the verse of war for food, shelter and medicine. So the time has come to take every possible step to tackle the heinous speed of population growth, and authorities and citizens should work together to tackle it.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use one-word form Original: can not be achieved Suggested revision: cannot be achieved Why it matters: The standard negative form of “can” is written as one word.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: the result might come at a slow pace Suggested revision: results may emerge slowly Why it matters: The revised phrase expresses gradual outcomes more naturally and concisely.
- 3. Clarify pronoun reference Original: especially in poor neighbourhoods to educate them Suggested revision: especially in poor neighbourhoods, to educate residents Why it matters: Naming “residents” removes the unclear reference of “them.”
- 4. Fix clause structure Original: are often the reason they do not understand Suggested revision: often explain why they do not understand Why it matters: The revised verb structure connects the causes directly to the lack of understanding.
- 5. Use formal term Original: babies Suggested revision: children Why it matters: “Children” is the more suitable term in a formal discussion of family size.
- 6. Fix tense and verb Original: incites Suggested revision: incurred Why it matters: The past-tense example requires “incurred,” which also collocates correctly with “penalty.”
- 7. Fix preposition and example Original: positive outcomes to many populous countries including China Suggested revision: positive outcomes in populous countries such as China Why it matters: Outcomes occur “in” countries, and “such as” introduces the example naturally.
- 8. Correct fixed expression Original: in the verse of war Suggested revision: on the verge of conflict Why it matters: The fixed expression is “on the verge of,” and “conflict” fits the projected situation.
- 9. Fix collocation Original: heinous speed of population growth Suggested revision: alarming rate of population growth Why it matters: Growth has a “rate,” and “alarming” appropriately describes its severity.
- 10. Moderate the claim Original: already gone out of control Suggested revision: already become difficult to control Why it matters: The revised phrase expresses the serious situation without making an absolute claim.
- 11. Refine the scope Original: more severe in most Asian and African countries Suggested revision: particularly severe in many Asian and African countries Why it matters: “Particularly severe” is more natural, while “many” avoids an unsupported near-universal claim.
- 12. Use plural noun Original: the religious and social taboo Suggested revision: religious and social taboos Why it matters: Two categories of taboo are named, so a plural noun is required.
Suggested Rewrites
- can not be achieved cannot be achieved
- the result might come at a slow pace results may emerge slowly
- especially in poor neighbourhoods to educate them especially in poor neighbourhoods, to educate residents
- are often the reason they do not understand often explain why they do not understand
- babies children
- incites incurred
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response directly addresses the task with three practical suggestions and develops its strongest points through explanation and a concrete policy example. Its main limitation is that some claims are overstated or insufficiently qualified, while several awkward word choices reduce precision. Prioritise evaluating the feasibility and consequences of each proposal more critically, then replace exaggerated or inaccurate expressions with natural academic language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response offers several relevant population-control measures and explains their intended effects, although some policy claims lack qualification.
Evaluate the feasibility, ethics, and likely limitations of each proposal rather than presenting its benefits as certain.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are organised into a clear progression from education to contraception and legal restrictions, with generally smooth internal linking.
Give the contraception proposal fuller development so the sequence of solutions feels more evenly balanced.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of topic vocabulary, but occasional inaccurate or exaggerated expressions weaken precision.
Replace phrases such as "verse of war" and "heinous speed" with accurate, appropriately measured academic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is handled with good control, and the occasional awkward passive or tense choice does not impede meaning.
Refine passive constructions and maintain consistent tense when describing past policies and their present consequences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Overpopulation in most developing countries in Asia and Africa is a problem. If these countries do not try to control the population immediately, they will face serious problems. What are your suggestions to control the population in such countries?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.