More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?
Sample Response
The escalating number of endangered and critically endangered species facing the brink of extinction raises significant concerns. This phenomenon is primarily attributed to various human-induced factors that adversely affect wildlife habitats and ecosystems. Several effective measures are there that should be immediately adopted to reverse the situation.
Habitat destruction stands as a leading cause for the extinction of many species, primarily due to deforestation, urbanization, and land degradation driven by human activities. For instance, rapid urban expansion encroaches upon natural habitats, diminishing the living spaces of various species. Moreover, poaching and illegal wildlife trade further exacerbate the situation, driven by demands for rare animal parts and products in certain markets. These detrimental actions contribute significantly to the decline of various species.
Several measures can mitigate the plight of endangered wildlife. Firstly, stringent conservation efforts are imperative, involving the establishment of protected areas, national parks, and wildlife reserves to safeguard habitats. For example, initiatives such as reforestation programmes and wildlife sanctuaries have proven effective in preserving endangered species like the Sumatran tiger and orangutans in Indonesia. Additionally, strict enforcement of anti-poaching laws and international collaborations to combat illegal wildlife trade are essential to curb the illicit market demand.
Public awareness and education also play pivotal roles. Educating communities about the importance of biodiversity and the repercussions of wildlife extinction fosters a sense of responsibility towards conservation efforts. For instance, campaigns advocating responsible tourism and sustainable practices can minimize the negative impact on wildlife habitats.
In conclusion, human activities continue to pose grave threats to various species, pushing them towards extinction. However, concerted efforts involving habitat protection, anti-poaching measures, and public education are crucial in mitigating this crisis and ensuring the survival of endangered wildlife for future generations.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct the expression Original: facing Suggested revision: on Why it matters: The fixed expression is “on the brink of extinction.”
- 2. Correct the preposition Original: for Suggested revision: of Why it matters: The standard collocation is “a cause of” an outcome.
- 3. Use precise terminology Original: diminishing the living spaces of various species Suggested revision: reducing the habitat available to various species Why it matters: “Habitat available” is more precise than “living spaces” in a wildlife context.
- 4. Add the article Original: poaching and illegal wildlife trade Suggested revision: poaching and the illegal wildlife trade Why it matters: The established activity is conventionally referred to as “the illegal wildlife trade.”
- 5. Use an uncountable noun Original: demands Suggested revision: demand Why it matters: “Demand” is uncountable when referring generally to market desire for products.
- 6. Use natural collocation Original: mitigate Suggested revision: alleviate Why it matters: A plight is conventionally “alleviated,” while a problem or effect is “mitigated.”
- 7. Choose precise wording Original: stringent Suggested revision: robust Why it matters: “Robust” naturally describes strong conservation efforts, while “stringent” more often modifies rules or controls.
- 8. Use the collective noun Original: collaborations Suggested revision: collaboration Why it matters: “Collaboration” works naturally as an uncountable process in this general policy statement.
- 9. Correct the noun phrase Original: curb the illicit market demand Suggested revision: curb illicit market demand Why it matters: The general uncountable phrase “market demand” does not require “the” here.
- 10. Use natural collocation Original: responsibility towards conservation efforts Suggested revision: responsibility for conservation Why it matters: “Responsibility for conservation” is more concise and idiomatic.
- 11. Use a stronger collocation Original: in Suggested revision: to Why it matters: “Crucial to” more directly expresses necessity in relation to the proposed action.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: Several effective measures are there that should be immediately adopted to reverse the situation. Suggested revision: Several effective measures should be adopted immediately to reverse the situation. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the unnatural existential word order and places the adverb clearly.
Suggested Rewrites
- facing on
- for of
- diminishing the living spaces of various species reducing the habitat available to various species
- poaching and illegal wildlife trade poaching and the illegal wildlife trade
- demands demand
- mitigate alleviate
Why this response received Band 8.5
The response’s strongest feature is its comprehensive cause-and-solution structure, linking habitat destruction and poaching to protected areas, law enforcement and public education with relevant examples. Its main limitation is minor: several recommendations are presented as effective without fully explaining implementation or causal impact. To refine the argument, develop one measure in greater depth by showing who would enforce it, how it would reduce demand or habitat loss, and what outcome would follow.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are fully addressed through well-developed causes, practical measures, and specific supporting examples.
Deepen one solution by explaining the mechanism through which enforcement or education changes behaviour and protects a particular species.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is skilfully organised, with focused paragraphs and natural progression from causes to institutional measures, public action, and conclusion.
Link the public-awareness paragraph more explicitly to the earlier problem of market demand so the solution chain is even tighter.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and appropriate, with strong control of conservation, habitat, enforcement, and biodiversity terminology.
Avoid slight repetition of “various species” and select more specific references such as “threatened populations” or the named animals.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with only occasional awkward word order or article use.
Replace “Several effective measures are there that should be immediately adopted” with a more natural construction and review article use around “illegal wildlife trade.”
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IELTS Writing Task 2
More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.