In many countries, schoolchildren are required to wear school uniforms. Do you think this should be enforced in all schools?
Sample Response
It is irrefutable that uniforms play a significant role in maintaining discipline in schools, and students would enhance their quality of life when they follow the policy of institutes. Therefore, school dresses are vital for the children need to wear at school for various reasons. However, I agree with this view and would like to explicate it at length in the paragraph to come.
To begin, it is implicit that uniform is essential in schools; it creates an encouraging environment among the learners; this leads to there being no discrimination between poor and richer ones and enhances the relationship bond with each other. To be clear, school dresses always help to control and manage the discipline of the school and also improve the educational ambience in which students like to interact themself with more concentration. As a result, they perform well in their academics with gigantic scores. For example, the Indian government gives strict instructions to schools; they must provide dresses to their students to create an unbiased environment. After that, this initiative helps make a faith environment that many children accept without confusion.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a direct modal Original: would enhance their quality of life Suggested revision: can improve their quality of life Why it matters: The present-tense modal expresses this general benefit more naturally.
- 2. Use natural school wording Original: the policy of institutes Suggested revision: their schools' policies Why it matters: This possessive phrase is the natural way to refer to rules set by schools.
- 3. Show the logical result Original: However, I agree Suggested revision: I therefore agree Why it matters: The sentence confirms the preceding claim rather than contrasting with it.
- 4. Use natural phrasing Original: explicate it at length Suggested revision: explain my view in detail Why it matters: This wording is clearer and more idiomatic in an essay introduction.
- 5. Use concise reference Original: paragraph to come Suggested revision: following paragraph Why it matters: The conventional phrase refers to the next paragraph more concisely.
- 6. State the claim clearly Original: implicit Suggested revision: clear Why it matters: Implicit means unstated, so it does not logically introduce an explicit assertion.
- 7. Use a plural noun Original: uniform is essential Suggested revision: school uniforms are essential Why it matters: A plural count noun is needed for this general claim.
- 8. Improve the collocation Original: encouraging environment among the learners Suggested revision: supportive environment for learners Why it matters: A supportive environment for learners is the more natural collocation.
- 9. Simplify the structure Original: this leads to there being no discrimination Suggested revision: this helps prevent discrimination Why it matters: The replacement removes the cumbersome and poorly controlled clause structure.
- 10. Make comparison parallel Original: poor and richer ones Suggested revision: poorer and richer students Why it matters: Both sides of the comparison need parallel comparative forms and a clear noun.
- 11. Remove redundant wording Original: enhances the relationship bond with each other Suggested revision: strengthens relationships among students Why it matters: Relationship bond is redundant, and the replacement identifies who forms the relationships.
- 12. Repair the clause Original: students like to interact themself with more concentration Suggested revision: students can focus and interact with one another Why it matters: The replacement corrects the reflexive form and expresses concentration naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- would enhance their quality of life can improve their quality of life
- the policy of institutes their schools' policies
- However, I agree I therefore agree
- explicate it at length explain my view in detail
- paragraph to come following paragraph
- implicit clear
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response states a clear position and keeps its discussion relevant, with the strongest support coming from the link between uniforms, equality, and discipline. However, it is substantially under length and stops after one body paragraph, so its argument is repetitive and insufficiently developed. The priority is to add distinct, well-supported reasons, address enforcement across all schools more directly, and finish with a concise conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear supportive position is presented, but the short response develops only one repetitive line of argument and does not fully examine universal enforcement.
Add at least one distinct reason with specific support, consider the all-schools scope directly, and provide a conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and body paragraph follow a basic progression, though linking is mechanical and the response feels structurally incomplete.
Organise the argument into separate body paragraphs with clear topic sentences and use connectors only where the logical relationship requires them.
Lexical Resource
There is some ambitious vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices make the expression unnatural.
Prioritise accurate common phrases such as school uniforms, academic performance, and inclusive environment over less controlled elevated wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and complex structures is attempted, but recurring errors in clause construction, agreement, pronouns, and punctuation reduce control.
Write shorter, complete sentences and check each clause for a clear subject-verb relationship and correct pronoun agreement.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, schoolchildren are required to wear school uniforms. Do you think this should be enforced in all schools?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.