In many countries, schoolchildren are required to wear school uniforms. Do you think this should be enforced in all schools?
Sample Response
It is irrefutable that uniforms play a significant role in maintaining discipline in schools, and students would enhance their quality of life when they follow the policy of institutes. Therefore, school dresses are vital for the children need to wear at school for various reasons. However, I agree with this view and would like to explicate it at the length of the paragraph to come.
To begin, the school dress code dramatically contributes to improving the quality of education even in attracting more learners who find the best institute for their careers, which leads children to get engaged with their studies for a long time. Moreover, children like to learn the importance of togetherness when wearing the uniform and enjoy the intimacy while representing themselves as a student for their school. Furthermore, the bond with studies eventually becomes more durable if they follow the uniform lesson. For instance, dress code in school has immense benefits and gives a lesson to the young generation which they get remains in touch with their morals. To add to it, students look similar in uniform, so they quickly achieve a milestone without any distractions.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use suitable modal Original: would Suggested revision: can Why it matters: Use 'can' for a general possible effect rather than the unsupported conditional 'would'.
- 2. Use natural reference Original: policy of institutes Suggested revision: policies of their schools Why it matters: 'Schools' is the precise term here, and the plural possessive relationship is clearer.
- 3. Use concise signposting Original: at the length of the paragraph to come Suggested revision: in the following paragraph Why it matters: The original expression is not idiomatic English.
- 4. Remove unintended meaning Original: children like to learn Suggested revision: children learn Why it matters: 'Like to learn' expresses enjoyment rather than the claimed result of wearing uniforms.
- 5. Clarify the subject Original: when wearing the uniform Suggested revision: when they wear uniforms Why it matters: An explicit subject prevents the modifier from attaching ambiguously.
- 6. Choose fitting phrase Original: enjoy the intimacy Suggested revision: feel a sense of closeness Why it matters: 'A sense of closeness' better expresses social connection among pupils.
- 7. Fix number and preposition Original: as a student for their school Suggested revision: as students of their school Why it matters: The plural subject requires 'students', and 'of' expresses affiliation.
- 8. Correct collocation Original: bond with studies Suggested revision: commitment to their studies Why it matters: 'Commitment to their studies' is the natural expression for sustained academic engagement.
- 9. Use precise noun Original: lesson Suggested revision: policy Why it matters: A dress code is a policy, not a lesson.
- 10. Repair relative clause Original: which they get remains in touch with their morals Suggested revision: that helps them remain connected to their values Why it matters: The revision supplies a grammatical relative clause with clear pronoun reference.
- 11. Remove false contrast Original: However, I agree Suggested revision: I agree Why it matters: 'However' incorrectly signals a contrast with the preceding support for uniforms.
- 12. Use direct wording Original: would like to explicate it Suggested revision: will explain this position Why it matters: The revision states the essay's purpose directly and uses a clear reference.
Suggested Rewrites
- would can
- policy of institutes policies of their schools
- at the length of the paragraph to come in the following paragraph
- children like to learn children learn
- when wearing the uniform when they wear uniforms
- enjoy the intimacy feel a sense of closeness
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response states a clear supportive position and offers several potentially relevant benefits of school uniforms, including discipline, togetherness, and fewer distractions. However, it is substantially under length, lacks a conclusion, and compresses its reasoning into one underdeveloped body paragraph containing several unclear claims. The priority is to produce a complete essay with two well-explained reasons, concrete support, and a concise conclusion that restates the position.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear opinion is given, but the short and incomplete response develops its supporting reasons only superficially and provides no conclusion.
Write at least 250 words and fully explain two distinct reasons for enforcing uniforms in all schools.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves from an introduction to supporting ideas, but the single dense body paragraph and repetitive connectors weaken progression.
Separate the reasons into focused body paragraphs and end with a conclusion that clearly completes the argument.
Lexical Resource
Some less common vocabulary is attempted, but frequent imprecise collocations make several ideas sound unnatural or unclear.
Use straightforward, topic-specific language and check that each noun and verb combination expresses the intended meaning precisely.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is an attempt at complex grammar, but frequent errors in clause construction, articles, agreement, and referencing sometimes impede clarity.
Use shorter sentence patterns and check each clause for a clear subject, correctly formed verb, and unambiguous reference.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, schoolchildren are required to wear school uniforms. Do you think this should be enforced in all schools?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.