Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is accurate that people’s hobbies and interests shift along with current fads and trends, often driven by a desire for popularity rather than personal enjoyment. While I agree with this perspective to some degree, there are individuals who adopt new hobbies because they genuinely find joy in the activity.
On one hand, many people embrace popular activities to showcase their awareness of current trends, even if their motivation is lacking. For example, in Indonesia, mountain biking has gained popularity, with some participating for the genuine enjoyment of the activity, while others do it merely to signal their alignment with the latest trends and showcase the most recent bicycle model.
On the other hand, there are individuals who genuinely change their interests because they derive pleasure from these new activities. While these pastimes might be the latest craze, these individuals consistently switch their interests due to their strong enthusiasm for these pursuits. Additionally, some of these hobbies may be entirely new inventions, adding to the diversity of interests.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that people’s hobbies and interests can undergo changes. However, I believe that the choice of hobbies is, to a large extent, a matter of personal preference. Instead of blindly following what is fashionable, we should prioritize activities that genuinely bring us joy.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural stance phrase Original: accurate Suggested revision: true Why it matters: “It is true that” is the conventional phrase for acknowledging a proposition.
- 2. Improve collocation Original: shift along with Suggested revision: change in line with Why it matters: This collocation more naturally describes interests changing as trends change.
- 3. Avoid near repetition Original: current fads and trends Suggested revision: current trends Why it matters: “Fads” and “trends” overlap in meaning here, so one term is sufficient.
- 4. Match plural reference Original: find joy in the activity Suggested revision: find joy in these activities Why it matters: The plural phrase correctly refers back to “new hobbies.”
- 5. Clarify repeated change Original: consistently switch their interests Suggested revision: regularly change their interests Why it matters: “Regularly change” expresses repeated changes more naturally than “consistently switch.”
- 6. Use suitable noun phrase Original: entirely new inventions Suggested revision: newly developed activities Why it matters: Hobbies are more naturally described as activities that have been developed than as inventions.
- 7. Prefer direct wording Original: can undergo changes Suggested revision: can change Why it matters: The direct verb is clearer and less wordy than the nominalized phrase.
- 8. Clarify social motive Original: desire for popularity Suggested revision: desire to appear fashionable Why it matters: The revision identifies the trend-related motive more precisely than the broad word “popularity.”
- 9. Use concise stance phrase Original: with this perspective to some degree Suggested revision: with this view to some extent Why it matters: This is a more concise formal phrase for expressing partial agreement.
- 10. Use direct clause Original: there are individuals who adopt new hobbies Suggested revision: some individuals adopt new hobbies Why it matters: The direct subject avoids an unnecessary existential construction.
- 11. Prefer direct expression Original: derive pleasure from these new activities Suggested revision: enjoy these new activities Why it matters: The direct verb conveys the same meaning more clearly and concisely.
- 12. Use formal trend wording Original: might be the latest craze Suggested revision: may currently be fashionable Why it matters: The replacement is more appropriate for a formal academic essay.
Suggested Rewrites
- accurate true
- shift along with change in line with
- current fads and trends current trends
- find joy in the activity find joy in these activities
- consistently switch their interests regularly change their interests
- entirely new inventions newly developed activities
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response states a clear position and is generally coherent, with controlled sentence structures and a useful example. However, at 215 words, its ideas—especially the claim that some people genuinely adopt fashionable hobbies—remain thin and partly repetitive. The highest priority is to add a fully developed explanation or example for the second viewpoint and clarify the degree of agreement throughout.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A relevant position is maintained, but the under-length response develops the second main idea only briefly and offers limited support for its qualified agreement.
Extend the second argument with a specific example and explain more explicitly how it supports the stated degree of agreement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and progression are clear, although the second body paragraph repeats its central idea rather than advancing it substantially.
Build each paragraph through a distinct claim, explanation, and illustration so that every sentence adds a new logical step.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of topic vocabulary, but several expressions are imprecise or repetitive, including motivation is lacking and interests due to enthusiasm.
Choose more exact language for social pressure and genuine motivation, and reduce repeated use of hobbies, interests, and genuinely.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are frequent and generally well controlled, with only minor lapses that do not impede meaning.
Correct small fixed-expression errors such as On the one hand and continue varying subordinate structures with concise phrasing.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.