Psychological illnesses may not be as obvious as physical disabilities or illnesses, nevertheless they are just as disabling in their own way. Society, however, is more accepting of those with physical than psychological illnesses or disabilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
In today's world, psychological illness is often regarded as impermissible that is often not discussed openly. Despite being equally debilitating, society has historically been more accepting of physical disabilities or illnesses than psychological ones. I strongly agree with this notion, as there are still significant gaps in the acceptance and understanding of psychological illnesses.
To begin with, there is still a great deal of stigma attached to mental health conditions in society. Many individuals who experience psychological issues are reluctant to seek help or discuss their struggles, fearing judgment or discrimination. This is due in part to a lack of awareness and understanding of mental health disorders, which has led to misconceptions and stereotypes surrounding them.
Furthermore, the resources and support available for individuals with physical disabilities or illnesses far outweigh those available for those with psychological conditions. There is still a lack of accessible and affordable mental health services, which means that many individuals struggling with psychological issues are left without adequate support.
Finally, the portrayal of psychological disorders in the media is often inaccurate and sensationalized. This can lead to further stigmatization and misconceptions about mental health issues, which can be harmful to individuals who are struggling with them. One example of inaccurate portrayal of psychological disorders in the media can be seen in the popular TV show "13 Reasons Why". The show depicts suicide as a revengeful act and portrays mental health issues in a very insensitive manner. Mental health professionals have criticized the show for glamorizing suicide and perpetuating harmful stereotypes about individuals with mental illnesses.
In conclusion, while there have been some positive steps towards addressing the stigma and lack of support for psychological illnesses, it is clear that society still has a long way to go in accepting and supporting those with mental health conditions. We must work towards greater awareness, education, and resources for those struggling with psychological issues, in order to bridge the gap between the acceptance of physical and psychological illnesses in our society.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name conditions directly Original: ones Suggested revision: conditions Why it matters: The explicit noun avoids a vague substitute and maintains consistent terminology.
- 2. Remove unnecessary articles Original: gaps in the acceptance and understanding Suggested revision: gaps in acceptance and understanding Why it matters: The abstract nouns do not require definite articles in this general statement.
- 3. Use concise stigma term Original: stigmatization Suggested revision: stigma Why it matters: The shorter noun conveys the same meaning more naturally.
- 4. Clarify issue reference Original: who are struggling with them Suggested revision: who are experiencing them Why it matters: The replacement links the people directly to the mental health issues without the repeated “struggling.”
- 5. Use natural noun phrase Original: a revengeful act Suggested revision: an act of revenge Why it matters: “An act of revenge” is the conventional expression.
- 6. Use concise phrasing Original: in a very insensitive manner Suggested revision: insensitively Why it matters: The adverb expresses the same manner more directly.
- 7. Make list parallel Original: greater awareness, education, and resources Suggested revision: greater awareness, better education, and more resources Why it matters: Parallel comparative modifiers clarify how each area should improve.
- 8. Remove unnecessary comma Original: issues, in order to bridge Suggested revision: issues in order to bridge Why it matters: No comma should separate the main clause from its purpose phrase.
- 9. Clarify the reference Original: This is due in part Suggested revision: This reluctance is due in part Why it matters: The explicit noun links the explanation to people's reluctance to seek help.
- 10. Use natural preposition Original: surrounding Suggested revision: about Why it matters: The conventional collocation is “stereotypes about” a group or condition.
- 11. Avoid repeated those Original: far outweigh those available for those Suggested revision: far exceed those available to people Why it matters: The replacement removes the awkward repetition while preserving the comparison.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: In today's world, psychological illness is often regarded as impermissible that is often not discussed openly. Suggested revision: In today's world, psychological illness is often regarded as unacceptable and is therefore not discussed openly. Why it matters: The rewrite repairs the faulty relative-clause structure and removes the repeated “often.”
Suggested Rewrites
- ones conditions
- gaps in the acceptance and understanding gaps in acceptance and understanding
- stigmatization stigma
- who are struggling with them who are experiencing them
- a revengeful act an act of revenge
- in a very insensitive manner insensitively
Why this response received Band 8.5
The essay maintains an unequivocal position and develops three complementary reasons for society’s lower acceptance of psychological illness: stigma, weaker service provision, and damaging media representation. The media example is especially effective because it connects a specific portrayal to broader misconceptions. The main limitation is a malformed opening sentence and a few minor phrasing issues; prioritise refining that introduction while preserving the essay’s focused structure and evidence-led development.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is explicit and fully developed through distinct, relevant arguments supported by clear explanation and a specific media example.
For an even more nuanced response, briefly acknowledge improving public attitudes before explaining why the acceptance gap nevertheless persists.
Coherence and Cohesion
Each paragraph has a clear function, and the progression from stigma to services and media representation is smooth and persuasive.
Link the service and media paragraphs slightly more explicitly to the comparative acceptance of physical conditions stated in the prompt.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is precise and well controlled across stigma, discrimination, accessibility, sensationalism, and harmful stereotypes, with only minor repetition.
Vary repeated references to psychological issues with mental health conditions where appropriate, without sacrificing technical precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex sentences is used accurately, apart from the faulty first sentence and a few minor article and punctuation lapses.
Rewrite the opening as Psychological illness is often treated as unacceptable and therefore is not discussed openly, and use an example of an inaccurate portrayal.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Psychological illnesses may not be as obvious as physical disabilities or illnesses, nevertheless they are just as disabling in their own way. Society, however, is more accepting of those with physical than psychological illnesses or disabilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.