Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The popularity of hobbies and interests changes over time, seemingly influenced by trends rather than reflecting individuals’ genuine desires. I believe that personal preferences play a larger role than societal trends in shaping people’s leisure choices. In the following essay, I will explore this dynamic interaction between trends and individual desires.
Some people believe that hobbies are mostly influenced by external factors, such as popular trends. For example, the recent increase in popularity of fitness activities is due to society’s focus on health and wellness. However, it is important to remember that these trends often emerge from people’s changing needs and wants. The rise of fitness activities may also be a collective response to growing awareness of health issues, showing that people genuinely want to live healthier lives.
However, on the other hand, hobbies can also be a true reflection of people’s inner interests and preferences. Think about how popular classic hobbies like reading and painting have been for generations. These activities are still popular today, which suggests that they have a timeless appeal that goes beyond passing trends. Additionally, people may use hobbies as a way to express themselves by choosing activities that align with their values and personal interests. For example, someone who is passionate about environmental conservation might choose to spend their free time doing outdoor activities, not just because they are trendy, but because they align with their values.
In conclusion, popular hobbies may be influenced by trends and fashions to some extent, but they also reflect people’s true interests and goals. The relationship between societal influences and personal choices is complex and ever-changing. Therefore, we need to consider both external trends and people’s intrinsic desires to get a complete understanding of what shapes their leisure activities.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Improve parallel structure Original: seemingly influenced by trends rather than reflecting individuals’ genuine desires Suggested revision: seemingly shaped by trends rather than by individuals’ genuine desires Why it matters: Parallel prepositional phrases make the contrast grammatically balanced and easier to follow.
- 2. Use direct signposting Original: In the following essay, I will explore Suggested revision: This essay examines Why it matters: The direct form signals the essay's scope more concisely.
- 3. Add required article Original: the recent increase in popularity of fitness activities Suggested revision: the recent increase in the popularity of fitness activities Why it matters: Popularity requires the definite article when it refers to the specific rise being discussed.
- 4. Use formal wording Original: wants Suggested revision: preferences Why it matters: Preferences is more precise and formal than wants in this discussion.
- 5. Remove duplicate transition Original: However, on the other hand Suggested revision: On the other hand Why it matters: However and on the other hand perform the same contrastive function here.
- 6. Use formal imperative Original: Think about Suggested revision: Consider Why it matters: Consider gives the same instruction in a more formal academic register.
- 7. Remove awkward modifier Original: popular classic hobbies Suggested revision: classic hobbies Why it matters: Classic already conveys established popularity, making popular redundant in this phrase.
- 8. Avoid redundancy Original: are still popular today Suggested revision: remain popular Why it matters: Remain already conveys continuity up to the present, so still and today are unnecessary.
- 9. Tighten expression Original: use hobbies as a way to express themselves by choosing activities Suggested revision: express themselves through activities Why it matters: The revision removes wordiness while preserving the link between hobbies and self-expression.
- 10. Improve collocation Original: doing Suggested revision: pursuing Why it matters: Pursuing activities is a more formal and precise collocation in this context.
- 11. Use formal verb Original: get Suggested revision: gain Why it matters: Gain is the more formal collocation with understanding.
Suggested Rewrites
- seemingly influenced by trends rather than reflecting individuals’ genuine desires seemingly shaped by trends rather than by individuals’ genuine desires
- In the following essay, I will explore This essay examines
- the recent increase in popularity of fitness activities the recent increase in the popularity of fitness activities
- wants preferences
- However, on the other hand On the other hand
- Think about Consider
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its clear, nuanced position that personal preferences outweigh trends, supported by coherent examples and consistently accurate sentence control. Its main limitation is that the comparison between external influence and genuine desire remains somewhat general; evaluating when trends actually override individual preference, and contrasting that directly with the stronger personal factors, would produce a more incisive argument.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained, and the relationship between trends and personal preferences is explored with relevant examples.
Develop a more explicit comparison showing the conditions under which either influence becomes dominant.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses clearly from external influences to enduring personal interests, with effective paragraphing and referencing.
Remove redundant signposting such as combining two contrast markers in the same transition.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of relevant and precise vocabulary, though key terms and some general phrases recur.
Vary repeated references to trends, popularity, and personal interests with more context-specific wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex structures is used accurately, with only minor stylistic awkwardness.
Maintain the same control while favouring more formal analytical constructions over conversational imperatives.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.