You are going on a short training course at a college in Green mount, Northern Ireland. You need somewhere to live while you are there. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In your letter: - explain your situation - describe the accommodation you require - say when you will need it You should write at least words.
Sample Response
Dear sir, Through this epistle, I want to inform you that I am coming to Ireland for some training purpose in your college, so I am looking for a favor from you.
I am shifting after that a fortnight with my family for few months, and I need a rented apartment in which i need two bedrooms, a hall and a kitchen along with study room. In addition to this, please make sure the apartment must be near the market and Gym because I am very conscious about my health.
Please let me know about the weather condition also so that I can pack my clothes accordingly. Most importantly, give some information about food as I am a pure vegetarian, so is it easy to arrange some vegetarian food otherwise I will pack some preserved edibles from here to cook that food for some days after reaching there. Moreover, which mode of transportation is convenient for me to travel from college to home. Except this, please give some suggestions what things are beneficial for me and tell me about anything you think i forgot to ask you about.
Looking forward for your cooperation.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Capitalize the title Original: sir Suggested revision: Sir Why it matters: The title in a formal salutation should begin with a capital letter.
- 2. Use a natural opening Original: Through this epistle, I want to inform you Suggested revision: I am writing to inform you Why it matters: "Epistle" sounds unnecessarily archaic for a practical letter to an accommodation officer.
- 3. Name the purpose clearly Original: for some training purpose Suggested revision: to attend a training course Why it matters: This phrase states the purpose directly and uses the natural collocation "attend a course".
- 4. Correct the preposition Original: in Suggested revision: at Why it matters: English normally uses "at" when referring to attending or studying at an institution.
- 5. Avoid double obligation Original: must be near Suggested revision: is near Why it matters: After "please make sure," using "must" creates an unnecessary double expression of obligation.
- 6. Fix articles and case Original: the market and Gym Suggested revision: a market and a gym Why it matters: These singular countable nouns need articles, and "gym" is not a proper noun.
- 7. Use the right collocation Original: conscious about my health Suggested revision: health-conscious Why it matters: "Health-conscious" is the standard expression for someone attentive to maintaining good health.
- 8. Use the plural form Original: condition Suggested revision: conditions Why it matters: The conventional phrase for the general state of the weather uses the plural noun "conditions".
- 9. Choose a fitting linker Original: Except Suggested revision: Besides Why it matters: "Except" expresses exclusion, whereas the sentence is adding another request.
- 10. Correct the clause pattern Original: give some suggestions what things are beneficial for me Suggested revision: suggest what would be useful for me Why it matters: The revised wording uses a grammatical verb-plus-clause structure and removes unnecessary repetition.
- 11. Fix case and tense Original: i forgot to ask Suggested revision: I have forgotten to ask Why it matters: The pronoun must be capitalized, and the present perfect suits an omission that remains relevant now.
- 12. Correct the closing phrase Original: Looking forward for Suggested revision: I look forward to Why it matters: The formal closing requires a subject and uses the preposition "to".
Suggested Rewrites
- sir Sir
- Through this epistle, I want to inform you I am writing to inform you
- for some training purpose to attend a training course
- in at
- must be near is near
- the market and Gym a market and a gym
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response communicates the need for accommodation and supplies useful details about the requested apartment, which gives the letter a recognisable purpose. However, the required timing is unclear, substantial space is spent on unrelated questions, and frequent awkward or inaccurate structures reduce precision. Prioritise the three requested points, state the arrival and accommodation dates explicitly, and edit sentence boundaries, articles, and prepositions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The situation and accommodation needs are addressed, but the required timing is unclear and several unrelated requests distract from the purpose.
State the exact arrival date and required rental period clearly, then remove questions that do not help secure accommodation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing provides a basic sequence, but long sentence chains and mechanical linking make progression uneven.
Organise one paragraph around each requested point and divide run-on sentences into shorter, logically connected units.
Lexical Resource
The letter shows some range, but inappropriate or inaccurate choices such as ‘epistle’, ‘shifting’, and ‘preserved edibles’ recur.
Choose natural, direct wording for a formal request and check common collocations related to moving, accommodation, and transport.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex forms are attempted, but frequent errors with articles, prepositions, sentence boundaries, and capitalisation reduce control.
Focus first on constructing complete sentences and checking articles and prepositions before adding complex clauses.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are going on a short training course at a college in Green mount, Northern Ireland. You need somewhere to live while you are there. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In your letter:
- explain your situation
- describe the accommodation you require
- say when you will need it You should write at least words.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.