Your local newspaper wants to reward people who have contributed a lot to the community. Write a letter to the newspaper. In your letter: - suggest someone - who deserves the reward - mention what they have done to help the community - say what reward you would like to give this person
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am a resident of Kensington, Melbourne, writing to express my appreciation for your decision to reward people who have selflessly helped others and brought positive changes to the community. I would like to recommend someone for the award who has contributed immensely to make our community a better place. Mr Albenny, a retired government officer, also knows as the pioneer of the green movement in our community, deserves the award more than anyone else. He has been working on the Green Movement project for more than 20 years and has since inspired a thousand others to plant trees and save the environment. His dedication is inspiring and three years ago our community received national recognition due to the green movement pioneered by Mr Albenny. He is a highly revered person who is equally loved by his friends and foes. I personally believe that you should consider him for the award you are intending to present to people with their great contributions to the community. What can be more inspiring when someone's actions motivate hundreds of others to make the world a better place to live in? A simple crest or a trophy as the award would suffice, but you should make the award-giving ceremony open for all. Once again thank you for your time and initiative. Yours faithfully, Helena Gomez
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix passive form Original: knows Suggested revision: known Why it matters: The passive participle 'known' is required after 'also'.
- 2. Separate main clauses Original: His dedication is inspiring and Suggested revision: His dedication is inspiring, and Why it matters: A comma is needed before 'and' when it joins two independent clauses.
- 3. Use suitable wording Original: friends and foes Suggested revision: people across the community Why it matters: This phrase conveys broad respect in a more suitable tone for a community nomination.
- 4. Remove wordiness Original: A simple crest or a trophy as the award Suggested revision: A simple crest or trophy Why it matters: The shorter phrase avoids repeating the idea of an award.
- 5. Fix preposition Original: open for all Suggested revision: open to everyone Why it matters: 'Open to everyone' is the natural expression for unrestricted attendance.
- 6. Add introductory comma Original: Once again thank you Suggested revision: Once again, thank you Why it matters: A comma should follow the introductory phrase 'Once again'.
- 7. Use natural collocation Original: brought positive changes Suggested revision: brought about positive changes Why it matters: The phrasal verb 'bring about' naturally expresses causing a change.
- 8. Avoid unsupported absolute Original: deserves the award more than anyone else Suggested revision: is an excellent candidate for the award Why it matters: This wording makes a persuasive nomination without an unsupported comparison with every other candidate.
- 9. Use precise verb Original: save Suggested revision: protect Why it matters: 'Protect' is the more precise verb for ongoing environmental action.
- 10. Add introductory comma Original: three years ago our community Suggested revision: three years ago, our community Why it matters: A comma should follow the introductory time phrase.
- 11. Clarify reason Original: received national recognition due to Suggested revision: received national recognition for Why it matters: 'Recognition for' links the achievement to its cause more directly.
- 12. Use natural description Original: revered Suggested revision: respected Why it matters: 'Highly respected' is more natural for describing a valued community member.
Suggested Rewrites
- knows known
- His dedication is inspiring and His dedication is inspiring, and
- friends and foes people across the community
- A simple crest or a trophy as the award A simple crest or trophy
- open for all open to everyone
- Once again thank you Once again, thank you
Why this response received Band 7.5
The recommendation is persuasive and well supported, with specific evidence of Mr Albenny's long-term environmental work and a clearly proposed reward. The main limitation is that several ambitious phrases and grammatical constructions are awkward, which occasionally weakens precision despite the strong vocabulary. The highest-priority improvement is to edit complex sentences for accurate forms and more natural collocations while keeping the confident formal tone.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The letter clearly nominates a suitable person, explains his contribution with convincing detail, and proposes an appropriate reward in a formal register.
Keep the recommendation concise by replacing the rhetorical question with a direct statement reinforcing why he deserves the award.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas move logically from the nomination to supporting achievements and the suggested reward, although repetition and the single-block presentation slightly weaken cohesion.
Use distinct paragraphs for the nomination, evidence, and reward proposal, and avoid repeating the award and community unnecessarily.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates flexible, topic-specific vocabulary such as selflessly, pioneered, revered, and suffice, with a few awkward combinations.
Refine collocations such as contributed immensely to making and an award recognising their great contributions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence forms is used with generally good control, but errors such as also knows as and some awkward relative clauses are noticeable.
Check participle forms, relative clauses, and agreement carefully, especially in longer sentences carrying several ideas.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
Your local newspaper wants to reward people who have contributed a lot to the community. Write a letter to the newspaper. In your letter:
- suggest someone
- who deserves the reward
- mention what they have done to help the community
- say what reward you would like to give this person
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.