A large company in your area plans either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: - describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team - summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts - say how you think the company should spend the money
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to convey my opinion regarding your generous initiative to invest in the local community, either by sponsoring a children’s sports team for two years or by funding two open-air concerts. Both options would bring great value to our area, but I believe that sponsoring the sports team would have a more lasting impact.
Supporting a children’s sports team would promote physical activity, teamwork, and discipline among young people. Regular training and participation in competitions would boost their confidence and encourage a healthy lifestyle. Moreover, long-term sponsorship would ensure financial stability, allowing the team to purchase proper equipment, hire skilled coaches, and compete at higher levels.
On the other hand, open-air concerts would provide entertainment for a wide audience, bringing people together and enriching the cultural life of our community. Such events could attract visitors from neighbouring areas, benefiting local businesses. However, their impact would be temporary.
Considering the long-term advantages, I strongly recommend that the company invest in the children’s sports team, as this would provide ongoing benefits for young people and the broader community.
Yours faithfully,
Blake Harrison
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Match the feedback request Original: convey my opinion regarding Suggested revision: offer my feedback on Why it matters: This wording responds more directly to the company's request for public feedback.
- 2. Use neutral wording Original: generous initiative to invest Suggested revision: proposal to invest Why it matters: “Proposal” precisely describes the plan while keeping the feedback suitably objective.
- 3. Use precise wording Original: bring great value Suggested revision: provide substantial benefits Why it matters: The replacement states the positive effect more specifically and formally.
- 4. Refine the collocation Original: ensure Suggested revision: provide Why it matters: Sponsorship more naturally “provides” financial stability than guarantees it absolutely.
- 5. Choose a precise adjective Original: proper Suggested revision: suitable Why it matters: “Suitable” clearly indicates that the equipment would meet the team's needs.
- 6. Clarify the outcome Original: compete at higher levels Suggested revision: enter higher-level competitions Why it matters: The revision specifies what competing at a higher level would involve.
- 7. Clarify the reference Original: their impact would be temporary Suggested revision: these benefits would be short-lived Why it matters: The replacement clearly refers back to the concerts' community and business benefits.
- 8. Strengthen the comparison Suggested revision: Explicitly contrast the short duration of two concerts with the two years of support offered by sports sponsorship. Why it matters: Using the durations stated in the task would make the preference for lasting impact more persuasive.
Suggested Rewrites
- convey my opinion regarding offer my feedback on
- generous initiative to invest proposal to invest
- bring great value provide substantial benefits
- ensure provide
- proper suitable
- compete at higher levels enter higher-level competitions
Why this response received Band 8.5
The letter is highly effective: it addresses every bullet point directly, develops both alternatives with relevant benefits, and maintains a polished formal register. The only notable limitation is that the case for the concerts is somewhat briefer and more general than the sports-team discussion. The highest priority is to add one concrete community benefit or practical outcome for the concert option to strengthen the balance.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response fully covers both funding options, states a clear preference, and supports the recommendation with relevant long-term benefits.
Develop the concert option with one additional concrete benefit so the comparison is equally detailed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Purposeful paragraphing, clear progression, and well-controlled linking make the letter easy to follow throughout.
Refine the transition into the recommendation by explicitly connecting the temporary nature of concerts to the long-term selection criterion.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary is used naturally, with effective phrases related to community investment, sponsorship, and cultural benefits.
For further refinement, replace broad expressions such as great value with a more specific description of community impact.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The letter demonstrates a wide range of complex structures with consistently accurate grammar and punctuation.
Maintain this level of control while varying sentence openings slightly to make the comparison even more stylistically flexible.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
A large company in your area plans either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter:
- describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team
- summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts
- say how you think the company should spend the money
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.