You are soon going to spend three months doing work experience in an organisation. Write a letter to the manager of the organisation where you are going to do work experience. In your letter: - thank the manager for the opportunity to work experience - explain what you hope to learn from the work experience - ask some questions about the work experience you are going to do
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to express my sincere gratitude for the opportunity to undertake a three-month work experience placement at your organisation. It is a privilege to gain practical experience in such a professional environment, and I am eager to contribute and learn as much as possible during my time with you.
Through this placement, I hope to develop a deeper understanding of industry practices and enhance my technical and interpersonal skills. Specifically, I am keen to gain insight into how your organisation operates on a daily basis and how different departments collaborate to achieve business objectives. Additionally, I am eager to learn from experienced professionals and apply my academic knowledge to real-world scenarios.
Before my placement begins, I would appreciate it if you could provide some information regarding my daily responsibilities, working hours, and the team I will be working with. Additionally, are there any specific materials or documents I should review beforehand?
I look forward to your response and to starting this exciting opportunity.
Yours faithfully,
Ada Margaret
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Reduce repeated wording Original: undertake a three-month work experience placement Suggested revision: complete a three-month work placement Why it matters: This keeps the meaning while avoiding the bulky phrase 'work experience placement'.
- 2. Refine preposition Original: at your organisation Suggested revision: with your organisation Why it matters: 'A placement with an organisation' is a natural formal collocation.
- 3. Make gratitude personal Original: It is a privilege Suggested revision: I greatly appreciate the privilege Why it matters: A personal subject makes the expression of thanks more direct.
- 4. Avoid vague reference Original: such a professional environment Suggested revision: your professional environment Why it matters: The possessive reference is slightly more direct than the general intensifier 'such'.
- 5. Sharpen contribution wording Original: contribute and learn as much as possible Suggested revision: contribute effectively and learn as much as possible Why it matters: The adverb makes the intended quality of the contribution clearer.
- 6. Use natural phrasing Original: deeper understanding Suggested revision: better understanding Why it matters: 'Develop a better understanding' is a slightly more natural collocation here.
- 7. Specify professional context Original: industry practices Suggested revision: professional practices in your field Why it matters: This wording connects the learning aim more explicitly to the host organisation's field.
- 8. Use concise wording Original: keen to gain insight into Suggested revision: keen to understand Why it matters: The shorter verb expresses the same learning aim without unnecessary nominalisation.
- 9. Make learning aims concrete Suggested revision: Identify one technical skill and one interpersonal skill from the stated learning aims to make them more specific. Why it matters: The second paragraph covers the learning bullet well but keeps both skill areas broad.
- 10. Separate practical questions Suggested revision: Present the responsibilities, hours, team, and preparation queries as two clearly grouped requests. Why it matters: Grouping operational details separately from advance preparation would make the manager's response easier to organise.
Suggested Rewrites
- undertake a three-month work experience placement complete a three-month work placement
- at your organisation with your organisation
- It is a privilege I greatly appreciate the privilege
- such a professional environment your professional environment
- contribute and learn as much as possible contribute effectively and learn as much as possible
- deeper understanding better understanding
Why this response received Band 9.0
The letter fully addresses the purpose in an appropriately formal tone, with clearly developed learning goals and focused questions arranged in a smooth progression. Its main limitation is minor repetition of words such as experience, eager, and additionally, which slightly reduces stylistic variety. The best improvement would be to vary these expressions and make one or two questions even more specific to the placement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The letter fully and directly covers the thanks, intended learning outcomes, and relevant questions in a consistently suitable formal register.
For even greater specificity, ask one question tied to the organisation's particular field or likely projects.
Coherence and Cohesion
Purposeful paragraphs and well-managed linking create a clear, effortless progression from gratitude to goals and practical questions.
Vary the repeated transition additionally to make the already strong flow still more natural.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is broad, precise, and professional, with effective phrases for workplace learning and organisational practice.
Reduce repetition of experience and eager by using selective paraphrase where it sounds natural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with consistently controlled punctuation and sentence formation.
Maintain this high level of control while experimenting with slightly more varied sentence openings.
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