You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: - give details of your study plans - explain why you want to get a part-time job - suggest how your friend could help you find a job
Sample Response
Dear Sara, My departure date for Canada is drawing near, and I am busy with preparations. I have enrolled at an institution called ‘IDT English’ in Ottawa, for a four-month intermediate course, full-time. It is quite expensive but I am hopeful of improving my pronunciation, especially. To assist in covering the costs of my study, I aim to find a part-time job. Not only are the college fees rather high, but also I know that rental accommodation in the capital city will not be cheap, to say nothing of food and heating expenses! So I would very much like to arrange some temporary employment before I arrive. I was wondering if you could ask around among your friends and colleagues to see if anyone wants a house-cleaner, gardener, or nanny for their children. I know you have a wide social network in Ottawa which you could canvas for me, if you wouldn't mind. I'd be so grateful. I look forward to seeing you soon. Best wishes, Helen
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Natural adjective order Original: a four-month intermediate course, full-time Suggested revision: a full-time, four-month intermediate course Why it matters: Place the study mode before the course description for a more natural noun phrase.
- 2. Smoother emphasis Original: pronunciation, especially Suggested revision: pronunciation in particular Why it matters: This phrase expresses the intended emphasis more naturally.
- 3. Use concise wording Original: To assist in covering the costs of my study Suggested revision: To help cover my study costs Why it matters: The revision is more direct and idiomatic while preserving the meaning.
- 4. Natural expression of hope Original: aim Suggested revision: hope Why it matters: This wording sounds more natural when describing a desired future job.
- 5. Improve job collocation Original: arrange Suggested revision: secure Why it matters: Secure is the more natural verb for obtaining employment before arrival.
- 6. Correct word form Original: canvas Suggested revision: canvass Why it matters: Canvass means to ask people for information or support, whereas canvas is a material.
- 7. Sentence rewrite Original: Not only are the college fees rather high, but also I know that rental accommodation in the capital city will not be cheap, to say nothing of food and heating expenses! Suggested revision: Not only are the college fees rather high, but rental accommodation in the capital will also be expensive, as will food and heating. Why it matters: The rewrite corrects the placement of also and makes the parallel cost comparison clearer.
- 8. Organise the letter Suggested revision: Separate the study plans, financial reasons, and request for help into distinct body paragraphs. Why it matters: Clear paragraphing would make the three requested points easier for the reader to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- a four-month intermediate course, full-time a full-time, four-month intermediate course
- pronunciation, especially pronunciation in particular
- To assist in covering the costs of my study To help cover my study costs
- aim hope
- arrange secure
- canvas canvass
Why this response received Band 8.0
The letter fully addresses the study plans, financial motivation, and requested help in a warm, convincing register, with particularly strong and precise vocabulary. Its main weakness is that the ideas are presented as one dense block and a few phrases are slightly awkward. The highest-priority improvement is to separate the study, financial, and request details into clear paragraphs while polishing the occasional collocation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is immediately clear, all three bullet points are fully developed, and the friendly tone is consistently appropriate.
Add a little practical detail about availability or preferred working hours to make the request even more actionable.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information moves logically from the study plan to financial needs and then to the request, with cohesive links used naturally.
Divide the body into short paragraphs so each communicative stage is easier to scan.
Lexical Resource
A broad and precise vocabulary, including rental accommodation, temporary employment, and social network, conveys the message effectively.
Correct the spelling of canvas to canvass and refine the slightly awkward phrase about improving pronunciation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex structures is controlled accurately, with only occasional awkwardness in clause coordination and punctuation.
Improve the parallel structure in the sentence beginning with Not only so the paired clauses align cleanly.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter:
- give details of your study plans
- explain why you want to get a part-time job
- suggest how your friend could help you find a job
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.