As part of a student social survey project, you are organising a group to visit a historical exhibition in a small town. Write a letter asking for information about the exhibition. In your letter: - ask about the contents of the exhibition - ask for its opening and closing dates - ask whether any discounts are available
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am about to organise a small group of students to visit the historical exhibition in your town in an effort to encourage them to participate in different kinds of social survey projects and learn new things. So, I would request some information to finalise the arrangement. Needless to say, this kind of participation would help these young students to understand the types of problems and the prospect of a society in which they live. But, before visiting that historical exhibition, I could surely use some information from your part. For example, information, like what kinds of contents or items would be displayed at the exhibition, and what historical period or era those historical items belong to, would be highly appreciated. Besides, I would also love to get some specific information about the dates of its opening and closing along with its hours of operation. Finally, I could also use some information on whether there is any discount available for a group of 16. So, I would be highly obliged if you could please provide me with these details at your earliest convenience so that I am able to start making the transport and accommodation arrangements in advance. Yours faithfully, James Collin
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. State the plan clearly Original: about to organise Suggested revision: organising Why it matters: About to implies an immediate action rather than an ongoing plan for the visit.
- 2. Use concise purpose form Original: in an effort to encourage Suggested revision: to encourage Why it matters: The infinitive expresses the purpose directly.
- 3. Remove wordiness Original: different kinds of social survey projects Suggested revision: different social survey projects Why it matters: Kinds of is unnecessary before the plural projects.
- 4. Use precise wording Original: learn new things Suggested revision: broaden their knowledge Why it matters: The revision describes the educational benefit more specifically.
- 5. Use formal request Original: So, I would request some information Suggested revision: I would like to request information Why it matters: The revision removes the conversational connector and uses a conventional request form.
- 6. Use plural noun Original: arrangement Suggested revision: arrangements Why it matters: A group visit normally involves multiple arrangements.
- 7. Remove unnecessary claim Original: Needless to say, this kind of participation Suggested revision: This kind of participation Why it matters: Needless to say weakens the direct explanation of the project's benefit.
- 8. Fix number and reference Original: the types of problems and the prospect of a society in which they live Suggested revision: social problems and prospects in their community Why it matters: The plural prospects and clear community reference make the phrase grammatical and precise.
- 9. Remove faulty conjunction Original: But, before visiting Suggested revision: Before visiting Why it matters: But should not be followed by a comma and no contrast is needed here.
- 10. Use definite reference Original: that historical exhibition Suggested revision: the exhibition Why it matters: The exhibition has already been identified, so the shorter definite reference is sufficient.
- 11. Correct the request phrase Original: could surely use some information from your part Suggested revision: would appreciate some information from you Why it matters: From your part is not idiomatic, and would appreciate is appropriate for a formal enquiry.
- 12. Introduce specifics cleanly Original: For example, information, like Suggested revision: Specifically, information about Why it matters: The revision removes the unnecessary commas and correctly introduces the requested details.
Suggested Rewrites
- about to organise organising
- in an effort to encourage to encourage
- different kinds of social survey projects different social survey projects
- learn new things broaden their knowledge
- So, I would request some information I would like to request information
- arrangement arrangements
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter has a clear formal purpose and fully develops every required enquiry, asking about exhibit contents and historical periods, opening and closing dates, operating hours, and a discount for sixteen students. The added planning context makes the request practical. Its main opportunity is concision: the explanation of social-survey benefits is longer than necessary, and a few phrases are overly formal or unnatural. Prioritise direct, itemised questions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are fully and specifically addressed in a consistently appropriate formal register, with useful group-planning context.
Ask whether advance group booking is required and whether the discount applies to students, accompanying staff, or both.
Coherence and Cohesion
The request progresses logically from purpose to contents, dates and hours, discount, and planning needs, with effective overall flow.
Shorten the general explanation of social-survey benefits and present the three enquiries in separate concise sentences.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and appropriately formal, though phrases such as ‘from your part’, ‘kinds of contents’, and ‘highly obliged’ are unnatural.
Use ‘could you provide’, ‘exhibits on display’, ‘historical period’, ‘group discount’, and ‘I would appreciate’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are generally accurate, with occasional punctuation, article, modifier, and sentence-length issues.
Remove unnecessary commas around examples and split the longest request sentence into direct questions.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
As part of a student social survey project, you are organising a group to visit a historical exhibition in a small town. Write a letter asking for information about the exhibition. In your letter:
- ask about the contents of the exhibition
- ask for its opening and closing dates
- ask whether any discounts are available
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.