You recently stayed in a hotel in a large city. The weather was very unusual for the time of year and the heating/cooling system in the hotel was quite inadequate. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter: - give details of what was wrong - explain what you had to do to overcome the problem at the time - say what action you would like the manager to take
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter in order to inform you about some issues at your hotel which I had to deal with. My name is Peter Moore, and I stayed at your hotel on the 27th and 28th of April. I believe that I stayed in room number 231. Anyway, while the room looked nice, I am afraid that I wasn’t really very happy with the cooling system of your hotel. Now, I understand that it was a bit unusual for the time of the year to be so hot, but it was also expected that the cooling system of your hotel was up to the standard to offset the effect of that unusually hot weather. Of course, I tried to play with the AC remote to make myself feel cool and comfortable, but luck was not with me. So, I finally had to take a shower several times to cool my body down. Due to this, I could hardly sleep at night! Anyway, I guess, I have made my point already. So, I would like to request you to please check your heating and cooling system more regularly to make sure that they are in perfect working condition at all times. Yours faithfully, Peter Moore
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Make the opening concise Original: writing this letter in order to inform Suggested revision: writing to inform Why it matters: The purpose remains clear without this letter and in order.
- 2. Name the complaint directly Original: some issues at your hotel which I had to deal with Suggested revision: a problem I experienced at your hotel Why it matters: The singular phrase introduces the specific cooling problem more directly.
- 3. Use concise dates Original: on the 27th and 28th of April Suggested revision: on 27 and 28 April Why it matters: Formal British date style omits articles, of, and ordinal suffixes.
- 4. State the room clearly Original: I believe that I stayed in room number 231 Suggested revision: My room number was 231 Why it matters: The writer should give the identifying detail directly rather than express uncertainty about it.
- 5. Use a direct contrast Original: Anyway, while Suggested revision: Although Why it matters: Although links the pleasant appearance and cooling problem without the informal filler Anyway.
- 6. State dissatisfaction professionally Original: I am afraid that I wasn’t really very happy with Suggested revision: I was dissatisfied with Why it matters: The revision is concise, clear, and appropriate for a formal complaint.
- 7. Remove empty transition Original: Now, I understand Suggested revision: I understand Why it matters: Now adds no logical or temporal meaning to the concession.
- 8. Use an active expectation Original: it was also expected that the cooling system of your hotel was up to the standard Suggested revision: I still expected the hotel's cooling system to be up to standard Why it matters: The active construction identifies the writer's reasonable expectation and removes the incorrect article before standard.
- 9. State the system's purpose Original: offset the effect of that unusually hot weather Suggested revision: keep the room cool in the unusually hot weather Why it matters: The revision describes the required practical result more clearly.
- 10. Use precise control wording Original: tried to play with the AC remote Suggested revision: tried adjusting the air-conditioning controls Why it matters: Adjusting the controls accurately describes the attempt to operate the system.
- 11. Focus on the room Original: make myself feel cool and comfortable Suggested revision: make the room cooler Why it matters: The cooling system is intended to change the room temperature rather than the writer directly.
- 12. Use formal outcome wording Original: luck was not with me Suggested revision: without success Why it matters: Without success states the failed attempt clearly without an informal idiom.
Suggested Rewrites
- writing this letter in order to inform writing to inform
- some issues at your hotel which I had to deal with a problem I experienced at your hotel
- on the 27th and 28th of April on 27 and 28 April
- I believe that I stayed in room number 231 My room number was 231
- Anyway, while Although
- I am afraid that I wasn’t really very happy with I was dissatisfied with
Why this response received Band 6.5
The letter clearly identifies the failed cooling system, explains the unsuccessful attempt to adjust it and the repeated showers taken for relief, and requests regular maintenance. Its strongest feature is complete, specific task coverage. The main limitation is register: phrases such as 'luck was not with me' and 'I guess I have made my point' sound overly conversational for a hotel manager. Prioritise a calm, professional complaint tone.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are clearly developed with relevant dates, a room number, the impact of the fault, and a requested action.
Request a prompt inspection of room 231 and written confirmation of the repair, using a consistently courteous professional tone.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter follows a logical sequence from stay details to the problem, attempted solution, consequences, and requested action.
Use separate paragraphs for the incident, the steps taken, and the remedy, and reduce repeated discourse markers such as 'Anyway' and 'So'.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate range for describing the complaint, but several informal or awkward expressions weaken precision and register.
Use 'adjusted the air-conditioning controls', 'the room remained uncomfortably hot', and 'I was unable to sleep'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied structures communicate the complaint clearly, though pronoun agreement, modality, punctuation, and some phrasing are inconsistently controlled.
Use forms such as 'I expected the system to cope with the heat' and 'ensure that it remains in full working order'.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You recently stayed in a hotel in a large city. The weather was very unusual for the time of year and the heating/cooling system in the hotel was quite inadequate. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter:
- give details of what was wrong
- explain what you had to do to overcome the problem at the time
- say what action you would like the manager to take
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.