You cannot go to a company where you received a job offer. Write a letter to the HR supervisor. In your letter: - explain why you are declining the offer - express your gratitude - explain why you like your current job very much
Same question Compare 2 different answersSample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to convey my gratitude for considering me for the position of Assistant Manager at your company. Unfortunately, I have decided to continue my work with my present employer and hence cannot accept your offer. During my interview, I was impressed by the interviewers and their friendly yet professional attitude. Not to mention, your company offers a great working environment and prioritises employee growth. I have a friend who works in your company who highly speaks of your management and office environment. However, the remuneration package that was suggested in the final offer letter is way less than my current salary. My employer offers several other benefits besides the salary and I see excellentcareer growth here. I am thankful to you for the opportunity you have offered me. However, considering my job satisfaction with the current employer and the reward package, I find no other way but to decline your offer. I, however, really appreciate your effort and support. Yours Faithfully, Jayesh Bhuva
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use formal connector Original: Not to mention, Suggested revision: Moreover, Why it matters: A formal linking adverb connects this point more smoothly to the preceding sentence.
- 2. Correct word order Original: who highly speaks of Suggested revision: who speaks highly of Why it matters: The adverb should follow the verb in this expression.
- 3. Use formal comparison Original: way less than Suggested revision: considerably lower than Why it matters: This wording is more precise and suitably formal for a letter to an HR supervisor.
- 4. Add missing space Original: excellentcareer Suggested revision: excellent career Why it matters: These are two separate words and require a space.
- 5. Improve collocation Original: job satisfaction with the current employer Suggested revision: job satisfaction in my current role Why it matters: This phrasing expresses satisfaction with the present job more naturally.
- 6. Use precise term Original: reward Suggested revision: remuneration Why it matters: This term is more precise for salary and employment benefits.
- 7. Correct capitalization Original: Faithfully Suggested revision: faithfully Why it matters: Only the first word of this conventional sign-off should be capitalized.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: I, however, really appreciate your effort and support. Suggested revision: Nevertheless, I sincerely appreciate your time and support. Why it matters: Moving the connector to the beginning creates a smoother and more formal closing sentence.
- 9. Organize letter paragraphs Suggested revision: Separate the greeting, purpose, reasons for declining, closing thanks and sign-off into clear letter paragraphs. Why it matters: The entire letter currently appears as one block, which obscures its communicative stages.
Suggested Rewrites
- Not to mention, Moreover,
- who highly speaks of who speaks highly of
- way less than considerably lower than
- excellentcareer excellent career
- job satisfaction with the current employer job satisfaction in my current role
- reward remuneration
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter fully addresses the decision, gratitude, and reasons for remaining with the current employer while maintaining a suitably professional tone. Its main limitation is presentation: the response is compressed into one block, and a few collocations and formatting slips reduce its polish. Prioritise clear paragraphing around the purpose, reasons, and closing, then refine phrases such as “highly speaks of” for greater precision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is immediately clear, all three bullet points are developed with relevant reasons, and the formal tone is appropriate.
Make the appreciation more specific by briefly linking it to the interview experience or the opportunity offered.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas progress logically from appreciation to the reasons for declining, but the entire letter is presented as one dense paragraph.
Separate the opening, explanation, and closing into distinct paragraphs so each stage of the message is easier to follow.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with effective items such as “remuneration package” and “employee growth”, though a few collocations are unnatural.
Replace awkward phrases such as “highly speaks of” and the informal “way less” with more idiomatic formal alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used accurately, and the few lapses do not impede meaning.
Refine relative-clause phrasing and proofread word boundaries to make the otherwise strong grammatical control fully polished.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You cannot go to a company where you received a job offer. Write a letter to the HR supervisor. In your letter:
- explain why you are declining the offer
- express your gratitude
- explain why you like your current job very much
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.