The rise of social media platforms has made it easier for people to vent their frustrations and complaints publicly. What is the consequence of this trend? Is there any benefit to expressing complaints on social media?
Sample Response
The advent of social media sites has made it easier for individuals to express their frustrations and objections publicly. The essay will discuss how this tendency may harm personal and professional relationships, and then also argue that it can cause positive social change by casting light on important social issues.
One of the primary consequences of venting frustration on social media platforms is that it may cause damage to both personal and professional relationships. That is to say, when a person expresses his frustrations and complaints publicly on social media, it may cause serious misunderstandings, tensions, or conflicts with friends, family members and colleagues who feel offended by the content shared. It, therefore, leads to strains in the relationships among individuals. For example, an individual who vents frustrations about social circles or friends on social networking sites may cause a huge rift in relationships. Those who feel offended may distance themselves.
However, one of the positive aspects of expressing complaints on social media is that it helps develop awareness and bring about positive social changes. Sharing remonstrance on social networking platforms can raise consciousness on injustices and social issues. In other words, by sharing personal experiences or highlighting social issues, people can draw rapt attention to systemic problems in society, raise voices, and encourage conversations that may result in positive change. Take the #MeToo movement for example. The movement gained considerable momentum through social networking sites, throwing light on the prevalence of abuse and sexual harassment.
To conclude, venting frustrations and concerns on social media can deteriorate harmonious relationships on the one hand and bring about positive social changes by drawing attention to serious problems on the other hand. I, therefore, think that individuals should be careful and selective while expressing their frustration on social media and use it as a powerful tool to create awareness about important social issues.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundant linkers Original: and then also argue Suggested revision: and argue Why it matters: 'Then' and 'also' duplicate the additive relationship already expressed by 'and'.
- 2. Keep reference inclusive Original: his Suggested revision: their Why it matters: Singular 'they' avoids an unnecessary gender assumption while agreeing in meaning with 'a person'.
- 3. Remove internal commas Original: It, therefore, leads Suggested revision: It therefore leads Why it matters: The short conjunctive adverb does not need to be isolated by commas in this position.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: strains in the relationships Suggested revision: strain in relationships Why it matters: 'Lead to strain in relationships' is the natural collocation for general relationship damage.
- 5. Clarify complaint target Original: about social circles or friends Suggested revision: about friends or social circles Why it matters: The revised order makes it clear that both items name the people or groups being discussed.
- 6. Improve noun agreement Original: a huge rift in relationships Suggested revision: serious rifts in relationships Why it matters: The plural 'rifts' aligns with the general reference to multiple relationships.
- 7. Use correct collocation Original: develop Suggested revision: raise Why it matters: English conventionally uses 'raise awareness' for increasing public understanding.
- 8. Choose accurate noun Original: remonstrance Suggested revision: complaints Why it matters: 'Remonstrance' is an unnatural mass noun here, whereas 'complaints' directly matches the intended meaning.
- 9. Fix collocation Original: raise consciousness on injustices Suggested revision: raise awareness of injustices Why it matters: The idiomatic phrase is 'raise awareness of' an issue.
- 10. Remove unsuitable adjective Original: draw rapt attention Suggested revision: draw attention Why it matters: 'Rapt' describes a person's absorbed attention and is not natural in this causative expression.
- 11. Use idiomatic verb Original: raise voices Suggested revision: speak out Why it matters: 'Speak out' naturally conveys publicly voicing concerns about social problems.
- 12. Use transitive verb Original: deteriorate Suggested revision: damage Why it matters: 'Deteriorate' is normally intransitive here, while 'damage' can directly take 'relationships' as its object.
Suggested Rewrites
- and then also argue and argue
- his their
- It, therefore, leads It therefore leads
- strains in the relationships strain in relationships
- about social circles or friends about friends or social circles
- a huge rift in relationships serious rifts in relationships
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response directly answers both questions with a well-controlled structure, a clear consequence, and a persuasive benefit supported by a specific example. Its main weakness is occasional over-formal or unnatural vocabulary, which reduces precision despite the otherwise fluent delivery. The highest-priority improvement is to replace strained expressions with natural collocations while retaining the essay's focused explanation and effective paragraph development.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are addressed directly through well-developed, relevant arguments about damaged relationships and socially beneficial awareness.
Add a little more qualification about when public complaints cause harm or create change to make the analysis more nuanced.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure gives the response a clear progression, and cohesive devices generally guide the reader smoothly through each argument.
Reduce formulaic transitions such as That is to say and on the one hand so that connections emerge more naturally from the reasoning.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and topic-specific, but conspicuous collocational problems such as sharing remonstrance, raise consciousness on, and draw rapt attention weaken precision.
Prefer natural phrases such as voicing complaints, raising awareness of injustice, and drawing attention to problems over unnecessarily ornate alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence forms is used with strong control, and the few awkward constructions do not impede meaning.
Refine punctuation and pronoun reference in sentences such as It, therefore, leads to strains to make already strong structures cleaner.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The rise of social media platforms has made it easier for people to vent their frustrations and complaints publicly. What is the consequence of this trend? Is there any benefit to expressing complaints on social media?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.