Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook, Twitter and so on) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
A large group of people believe that social networking websites and apps like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram have largely a detrimental impact on individuals, society, and local communities. While I believe that these sites have some benefits for individuals, I agree that they have mostly negative impacts on local communities or societies as a whole. This essay explains my position.
Social media has brought people from different countries together and enabled them to connect and communicate in an unprecedented way. Facebook's social groups offer individuals the opportunity to interact with like-minded people and participate in discussions on topics of interest while other apps allow them to chat or talk with others without spending extra money. These are clear advantages that online social media has brought to individuals.
However, the effect of Facebook, Twitter and other social networking sites on societies and local communities is highly negative. Due to their influence, people are choosing to engage more online instead of participating in their local communities. As a result, local communities are no longer forming the strong, corroborating relationships that we used to have in the past. Society, as a whole, is becoming increasingly fragmented and disconnected as people spend more time online with people they have never met and are unlikely to meet in the future.
To conclude, while social networking sites have brought individuals closer together, they have not had the same effect on society or local communities. Local communities should take steps to involve their members in local activities to promote the future of community life. Social media can continue to bring individuals together but it is important to recognize its limitations when it comes to strengthening local communities.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix adverb placement Original: have largely a detrimental impact Suggested revision: have a largely detrimental impact Why it matters: The adverb should modify detrimental rather than interrupt the article-adjective sequence.
- 2. Clarify the categories Original: local communities or societies as a whole Suggested revision: local communities and society as a whole Why it matters: The singular collective noun society makes the contrast between local and wider effects clearer.
- 3. Use natural phrasing Original: Facebook's social groups Suggested revision: Facebook groups Why it matters: Facebook groups is the conventional term for this feature.
- 4. Add clause comma Original: interest while Suggested revision: interest, while Why it matters: A comma separates the two independent clauses joined by while.
- 5. Remove repetition Original: chat or talk with others Suggested revision: communicate with others Why it matters: Communicate conveys the same idea without the near-repetition of chat and talk.
- 6. Use concise wording Original: without spending extra money Suggested revision: at no additional cost Why it matters: This phrase expresses the cost advantage more concisely and formally.
- 7. Remove redundancy Original: online social media Suggested revision: social media Why it matters: Social media already refers to online platforms, so online is redundant here.
- 8. Specify the activity Original: engage Suggested revision: interact Why it matters: Interact is a more precise verb for communication through social platforms.
- 9. Correct the collocation Original: corroborating Suggested revision: supportive Why it matters: Corroborating describes evidence that confirms something, not relationships within a community.
- 10. Remove time redundancy Original: we used to have in the past Suggested revision: once existed Why it matters: Used to and in the past repeat the same time meaning.
- 11. Use natural collocation Original: promote Suggested revision: support Why it matters: Support the future is a more natural expression for sustaining community life.
- 12. Add conjunction comma Original: together but Suggested revision: together, but Why it matters: A comma is needed before but because it joins two independent clauses.
Suggested Rewrites
- have largely a detrimental impact have a largely detrimental impact
- local communities or societies as a whole local communities and society as a whole
- Facebook's social groups Facebook groups
- interest while interest, while
- chat or talk with others communicate with others
- without spending extra money at no additional cost
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response's strongest feature is its clear, nuanced position: social networking benefits individual communication but damages participation and solidarity in local communities. This distinction is developed logically and expressed with strong control, although the discussion of individual effects is somewhat narrow and one or two word choices are imprecise. The highest priority is to test the position against a specific negative effect on individuals and explain why the benefits still outweigh it.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly addresses both individuals and society, maintains a clear qualified position, and supports it with relevant explanation.
Acknowledge and evaluate one plausible individual harm, such as isolation or distraction, to make the qualified judgment more comprehensive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress clearly through a well-focused introduction, contrasting body paragraphs, and a conclusion that accurately consolidates the argument.
Tighten the concluding recommendation so it reinforces the evaluation without introducing a new policy direction.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible and precise across communication, community participation, fragmentation, and social connection, with only occasional awkward choices.
Replace corroborating relationships with supportive relationships and avoid combinations such as largely a detrimental impact.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, and the few errors do not impede communication.
Refine article and adverb placement in isolated phrases while preserving the existing structural variety.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook, Twitter and so on) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.