Some people think that the government should ensure the healthy lifestyle of people. However, others argue that it should be decided by individuals and it is their responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
According to some, a healthy lifestyle is a personal choice, and this should be determined by individuals. Others, however, believe that the government should ensure a healthy lifestyle for all citizens. This essay will discuss both these perspectives. Personally, I believe that a healthy lifestyle is a choice that should be made by each individual while the government of a country should guarantee proper healthcare services and facilities that promote public health.
On the one hand, if an individual has the determination to lead a healthy life, she would need little help from the state. A healthy lifestyle is a choice. The government can make sure better healthcare, exercise and entertainment facilities throughout the country but if someone does not develop the habit of leading a healthy life, the government can do very little about it. Interestingly, this is a choice we can make regardless of our social, educational and economic status. For instance, a rich man might live an unhealthy lifestyle while someone with very little earnings can decide to live a healthy lifestyle.
On the other hand, there is no denying that a government also has an important role to play to ensure a better lifestyle for its citizens. For instance, in countries where the government fails to ensure proper education, health care facilities, recreation and economic development, people usually follow an unhealthy lifestyle there. Some important laws and policies like mandatory vaccination, carbon emission, and drug control can determine the extent of people’s healthy lifestyles. Thus it is true that government policy and initiatives help citizens to have a better lifestyle.
Considering both viewpoints, I would like to conclude that the healthy lifestyle of citizens in a country is a combination of individual choice and government initiatives. Thus I feel that each person should choose a healthy lifestyle while the government of a country should ensure proper facilities to make it easier for citizens.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify the reference Original: this should be determined by individuals Suggested revision: this decision should be made by individuals Why it matters: Naming the decision gives the pronoun a clearer referent.
- 2. Use realistic verb Original: ensure a healthy lifestyle for all citizens Suggested revision: support healthy lifestyles for all citizens Why it matters: Support more accurately describes what government provision can do.
- 3. Remove wordiness Original: the government of a country should guarantee Suggested revision: the government should guarantee Why it matters: The phrase of a country is unnecessary because government already conveys the intended meaning.
- 4. Use neutral pronoun Original: she Suggested revision: they Why it matters: Singular they maintains agreement while avoiding an unnecessary gender assumption.
- 5. Fix verb collocation Original: make sure better healthcare Suggested revision: provide better healthcare Why it matters: Provide is the appropriate verb for making services and facilities available.
- 6. Add clause comma Original: country but if someone Suggested revision: country, but if someone Why it matters: A comma is needed before but when it joins two independent clauses.
- 7. Fix earnings collocation Original: little Suggested revision: low Why it matters: Low, rather than little, is the natural modifier for earnings.
- 8. Use correct preposition Original: role to play to ensure Suggested revision: role to play in ensuring Why it matters: A role in doing something is the standard grammatical pattern.
- 9. Remove redundant adverb Original: unhealthy lifestyle there Suggested revision: unhealthy lifestyle Why it matters: The opening phrase already identifies the countries, so there is redundant.
- 10. Make list parallel Original: laws and policies like mandatory vaccination, carbon emission, and drug control Suggested revision: laws and policies on mandatory vaccination, carbon emissions, and drug control Why it matters: The revised phrase presents all three items consistently as areas regulated by laws and policies.
- 11. Fix awkward expression Original: the extent of people’s healthy lifestyles Suggested revision: how healthy people’s lifestyles are Why it matters: The original noun phrase does not express the intended degree of health naturally.
- 12. Use parallel plurals Original: policy Suggested revision: policies Why it matters: Policies should be plural to coordinate naturally with initiatives in this general claim.
Suggested Rewrites
- this should be determined by individuals this decision should be made by individuals
- ensure a healthy lifestyle for all citizens support healthy lifestyles for all citizens
- the government of a country should guarantee the government should guarantee
- she they
- make sure better healthcare provide better healthcare
- country but if someone country, but if someone
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear, balanced position and develops both individual and governmental responsibility through relevant reasoning and examples. Its main weakness is that several claims are broad or imprecise, particularly the link between national conditions and unhealthy lifestyles, while some repeated wording reduces lexical sharpness. The priority is to explain causal links more precisely and support the governmental role with a more specific example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a consistent personal opinion are clearly addressed, although some supporting claims remain general or insufficiently demonstrated.
Develop one specific causal example showing how a government policy changes individual health behaviour in practice.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear four-paragraph progression, though some linking phrases and repeated conclusions feel mechanical.
Use less formulaic transitions and make each paragraph's internal reasoning progress more explicitly from cause to consequence.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, but repetition and several awkward collocations reduce precision.
Replace phrases such as make sure better healthcare and very little earnings with natural, exact collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a good mix of simple and complex structures, with occasional article, agreement, and phrasing errors that do not impede meaning.
Check articles and noun forms in longer sentences, particularly when listing policies, facilities, and collective responsibilities.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that the government should ensure the healthy lifestyle of people. However, others argue that it should be decided by individuals and it is their responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.