Nowadays more and more young people hold important positions in the government. Some people think that it is a good thing while others argue that it is neither suitable nor desirable. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
In recent times, there has been a noticeable increase in young people taking on significant rolesyoung individuals assuming significant roles within government institutions. While some argue that this development is positive, others believe thathold the belief that it is neither appropriate nor desirable. This essay will discuss both perspectives and provide an opinion in favour of young people in key government positions.
Opponents of young people holding important positions in government argue that experience and wisdom are crucial prerequisites for effective leadership. They contend that young leadersindividuals may lack the necessary expertise, knowledge, and understanding of complex issues to make informed decisions. Furthermore, sceptics raise concerns about the potential for manipulation and exploitation of young leaders by more experienced and influential figures in governmentwithin the government. They argue that young individuals may be susceptible to external influences and may lack the political acumen and resilience to navigate complex power dynamics.
By contrastOn the contrary, supporters of young people holding important positions in government highlight several advantages. Firstly, young individuals often offer fresh perspectives and innovative ideasbring fresh perspectives and innovative ideas to the table. Their exposure to modern challenges and their ability to approach problems creativelythink outside the box can contribute to more progressive policies and effective decision-makingdecision-making processes. Secondly, the inclusion of young people in government promotes intergenerational fairness and representation. It ensures that the voices and concerns of the younger population, who will bear the consequences of long-term decisions, are adequately considered. This can lead to policies that address the evolving needs of society and provide opportunities for the development of future generationsgrowth and development of future generations.
In my opinion, the involvement of young people in government is a positive development. While experience is undoubtedly valuable, it should not be the sole determinant of leadership potential. Young individuals bring fresh perspectives, innovative ideas, and a deep understanding of contemporary challenges.
To conclude, the increasing presence of young people in important government positions is advantageous. I believe that embracing the contributions of young individuals in government is essential for a more inclusive and progressive society. By combining the energy and vision of youth, governments can effectively address the complex challenges of the modern world.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay gives balanced, well-developed coverage of both perspectives and maintains a clear favourable position, with especially strong discussion of experience, representation, and contemporary ideas. Its main limitation is repetition: the separate opinion and conclusion paragraphs largely restate earlier claims, and key phrases recur frequently. Prioritise synthesising the competing views more directly by explaining how youthful innovation can be combined with experienced guidance.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are explored in depth and the writer's favourable opinion is clear and consistently relevant to the question.
Strengthen the evaluation by explaining directly how mentoring or institutional safeguards could answer the stated risks of inexperience and manipulation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument is logically sequenced and paragraphing is effective, although the opinion paragraph and conclusion repeat several earlier points.
Combine the personal evaluation with the conclusion or use the opinion paragraph to weigh the two sides rather than restating the advantages.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is broad and generally precise, but phrases such as 'young individuals', 'fresh perspectives', and 'innovative ideas' are repeated noticeably.
Use more concise reference and controlled variation to avoid recurring noun phrases without introducing unnecessary synonyms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex sentence forms is handled accurately, and errors are rare enough not to affect clarity or fluency.
Refine sentence rhythm by varying the repeated subject-led patterns while preserving the strong grammatical accuracy.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays more and more young people hold important positions in the government. Some people think that it is a good thing while others argue that it is neither suitable nor desirable. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.