The education a child receives at home from having parents who are positive role models is more important than the academic education a child receives at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Undeniably, it is a heated debate who can teach children better- parents or educators in a school? Children mimic their parents' behaviours, and I personally believe that parents roles are more influential than that of teachers in schools.
to begin with, we cannot discard the impact of education which students learn in institutions. One important factor is how much their academic knowledge can increase. Compared to parents, teachers have higher academic performance due to the amount of training they have. In particular, in science, they know more about the details of nature or technology, transferring them to their students; however, parents are not professional trainers. Furthermore, children may become less socially active if they only rely on their parents’ teaching. Communicating with the other peers in school, they can learn more about social interactions, while those studying home can become more isolated. In my case, never could I become a socially adolescent if I did not have enough communication with other classmates.
On the other hand, I agree that the role of parents in the teaching of their offspring cannot be forgotten. One reason behind it is that they are trustworthy. Definitely, because there is a closer relationship between parents and their children emotionally, there is a firmer trust between them, whereas school instructors are less trustful. As a prime example, I could not rely on the social worker working in the secondary school I studied because he was a rigid person, even in general appearance, and many students could not trust his words. Another factor is that children spend more time with their parents than the trainers in school. Obviously, parents are able to find better their probable children’s behavioural problems due to spending long hours with them. In contrast, teachers spend less time with each student, leading to missing each one’s misconduct problems.
In conclusion, the role of parents is more powerful on their children’s training than the tutors teaching in schools. From my perspective, parents are emotionally closer and have more enough time to educate their children. Had not they only taught by their parents, more educational and behavioural problems would have been left.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add correct preposition Original: heated debate who Suggested revision: heated debate about who Why it matters: The noun phrase requires 'about' to introduce the subject being debated.
- 2. Use a proper dash Original: better- parents Suggested revision: better—parents Why it matters: An em dash correctly sets off the two alternatives introduced after 'better'.
- 3. Mark possession Original: parents roles Suggested revision: parents' roles Why it matters: The plural possessive noun needs an apostrophe after 'parents'.
- 4. Match plural noun Original: that Suggested revision: those Why it matters: The plural noun 'roles' requires the plural substitute 'those'.
- 5. Capitalize sentence opening Original: to Suggested revision: To Why it matters: The first word of a sentence must begin with a capital letter.
- 6. Use natural collocation Original: education which students learn Suggested revision: education that students receive Why it matters: Students receive an education rather than learn an education.
- 7. Clarify teacher expertise Original: higher academic performance Suggested revision: greater academic expertise Why it matters: 'Expertise' expresses the teachers' knowledge more accurately than 'performance'.
- 8. Choose precise wording Original: details of nature or technology Suggested revision: principles of science and technology Why it matters: This phrase states the intended areas of subject knowledge more naturally.
- 9. Correct determiner Original: the other peers Suggested revision: their peers Why it matters: 'Peers' already means other people of the same group, so a possessive determiner is appropriate.
- 10. Add place preposition Original: those studying home Suggested revision: those studying at home Why it matters: The fixed expression for this location is 'at home'.
- 11. Use correct adjective Original: socially Suggested revision: sociable Why it matters: 'Sociable' describes a person who interacts well with others, whereas 'socially' is an adverb.
- 12. Improve expression Original: if I did not have enough communication Suggested revision: without sufficient interaction Why it matters: This replacement expresses interpersonal contact more naturally and concisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- heated debate who heated debate about who
- better- parents better—parents
- parents roles parents' roles
- that those
- to To
- education which students learn education that students receive
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear position and supports it with relevant contrasts between school education and parental influence, with generally logical progression. Its main limitation is persistent awkward or inaccurate language, while some supporting examples are insufficiently convincing and the final sentence obscures the conclusion. The highest priority is to express each argument in precise, natural sentences and develop examples that directly prove the comparative claim.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is addressed with a clear preference for parental influence and relevant discussion of both educational settings, though some support is weak or unclear.
Develop each parental advantage with a more convincing explanation or example that directly shows why it outweighs school education.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are arranged in a clear introduction, contrasting body sections, and conclusion, although some linking is mechanical and a few sentences do not progress smoothly.
Use more precise referencing and logical sentence-to-sentence connections instead of relying heavily on formulaic transition phrases.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of topic vocabulary, but frequent collocational errors and imprecise word choices reduce naturalness and clarity.
Prioritise accurate collocations such as parental roles, socially capable adolescent, and greater trust rather than forcing less familiar expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures is attempted, but recurring errors in articles, agreement, word forms, and clause construction sometimes strain meaning.
Check the grammatical core of every complex sentence, especially subject-verb agreement, possessives, articles, and conditional structures.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The education a child receives at home from having parents who are positive role models is more important than the academic education a child receives at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.