Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Homeschooling method of educating children is a trend still followed by a diverse variety of groups all over the world. The concept dates back as far as the times when actual schools, for teachings group of attendees, didn't exist. The method originated in royal environments where kings would appoint the wisest pupil in their cabinets to carry out teaching sessions with kids in the house. However, this practice of in-house education began to diminish when public education institutes came to the fore. Benefits of homeschooling cannot be overlooked. The biggest advantage for children who are learning at home is the individual attention the tutor can provide to them. This not only results in clear delivery of knowledge to the student, but the pace of such can also be set, maintained and adjusted as per needs of the student and requirements of the course. Recipient of home tuition can enjoy a flexible schedule as deemed fit by the involved parties. This time selection option can be a great tool to tune up the process of learning. Some children find it easier to study at night while others prefer to do the same in the daytime. A one-on-one session between a student being taught at home by his teacher establishes a social bond between them. This leads to an increased level of interactivity which contributes assertively in the learning curve. On the contrary, participants of group schools acquire some distinct advantages primarily due to the system they get involved in. First and foremost would be societal structure. Human is a social being and there is no place better than a public or private school where children learn how to interact with others. Another social property which the students pick up in group schooling system is competition. They learn how to survive together and how to get ahead of other. A healthy competition amongst students teaches them the value of effort. Group schooling systems make the arrangement of specialized practical equipment feasible, which would ultimately enhance the learning experience of all the students. In my opinion, group schooling systems were made a global standard for a reason and not the homeschooling. Public schools provide balance in society on a large scale. Children with the uniform set of educational skills aligned towards a common goal can grow up to be more useful for the world, rather than each child moving in a different direction.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Missing article Original: Homeschooling method Suggested revision: The homeschooling method Why it matters: A singular count noun needs a determiner.
- 2. Malformed phrase Original: for teachings group of attendees Suggested revision: for teaching groups of students Why it matters: The noun forms and word order are incorrect.
- 3. Wrong word Original: wisest pupil in their cabinets Suggested revision: most learned scholar at court Why it matters: Pupil and cabinet do not convey the intended historical role.
- 4. Missing article Original: as per needs of the student Suggested revision: according to the student's needs Why it matters: This is more natural and grammatically complete.
- 5. Unnatural collocation Original: contributes assertively in the learning curve Suggested revision: contributes positively to learning Why it matters: The original collocation is not idiomatic.
- 6. Generic plural Original: Human is a social being Suggested revision: Humans are social beings Why it matters: Use a plural noun for a general statement.
- 7. Plural pronoun Original: get ahead of other Suggested revision: progress alongside others Why it matters: Other must be plural here; the revision also avoids an overly competitive implication.
- 8. Avoid redundancy Original: a diverse variety of groups Suggested revision: a variety of groups Why it matters: Diverse and variety repeat the same meaning.
- 9. Natural education term Original: public education institutes Suggested revision: public educational institutions Why it matters: Educational institutions is the standard phrase.
- 10. Clear reference Original: pace of such Suggested revision: pace of instruction Why it matters: Such lacks a clear noun reference here.
- 11. Concise passive Original: as deemed fit by the involved parties Suggested revision: to suit the tutor and student Why it matters: The revision names the parties and avoids an unnecessarily formal passive.
- 12. Natural collocation Original: tune up the process of learning Suggested revision: optimise the learning process Why it matters: Tune up is normally used for machines, not learning.
Suggested Rewrites
- Homeschooling method The homeschooling method
- for teachings group of attendees for teaching groups of students
- wisest pupil in their cabinets most learned scholar at court
- as per needs of the student according to the student's needs
- contributes assertively in the learning curve contributes positively to learning
- Human is a social being Humans are social beings
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay discusses meaningful advantages of both homeschooling and school, including individual attention, flexibility, socialisation, competition and access to equipment, before giving a clear preference for group schooling. Development is generally strong and logically sequenced. The main limitation is awkward word choice and grammar in several sentences; streamline the historical opening and express the final comparison more precisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both methods are well covered and the writer's preference is clear and supported.
Explain more directly why school benefits outweigh the personalised advantages of home education.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically, though it lacks visible paragraph breaks in the artifact.
Use an introduction, one paragraph per method, and a concise opinion conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, but ambitious choices are sometimes inaccurate or unnatural.
Prefer simple precise education terms over forced phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Many complex structures are controlled, with recurring article and noun-form errors.
Check articles, plural forms and clause construction.